Vanessa Diffenbaugh Quotes

Powerful Vanessa Diffenbaugh for Daily Growth

About Vanessa Diffenbaugh

Vanessa Diffenbaugh is an American novelist best known for her debut novel, "The Language of Flowers," which became a New York Times Bestseller. Born on June 26, 1980, in California, Diffenbaugh spent most of her childhood in the San Francisco Bay Area and was inspired by her love for flowers and her passion for storytelling from an early age. Before pursuing a career as a writer, Diffenbaugh worked as a caseworker at a California shelter, where she found inspiration for her debut novel. The idea for "The Language of Flowers" came to her after reading about the Victorian language of flowers, which conveyed emotions through various blooms. She saw parallels between this concept and her work with foster children, who often communicate unspoken feelings through their actions. Published in 2011, "The Language of Flowers" tells the story of Victoria Jones, a young woman who has spent most of her life in the foster care system. By arranging flowers, she discovers a hidden language that allows her to express herself and finally find a place where she belongs. The novel was widely acclaimed for its beautiful prose, rich characters, and thoughtful exploration of themes such as love, loss, and redemption. Diffenbaugh's second novel, "We Have Lost the Element of Surprise," was published in 2016. It tells the story of a woman who must rebuild her life after a tragic accident and explores the power of friendship and resilience in the face of adversity. Today, Diffenbaugh continues to write and advocate for foster children. She splits her time between San Francisco and Santa Barbara with her husband and two daughters.

Interpretations of Popular Quotes

"We don't have to deserve love. We just have to be human."

This quote by Vanessa Diffenbaugh emphasizes that love is a fundamental aspect of being human, not something earned or deserved. It suggests that every individual deserves love, simply because they exist and share the common humanity. The quote underscores empathy, compassion, and understanding for all people, regardless of their actions or circumstances. Love should not be conditional but universal, reflecting our inherent worth as humans.


"To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial. To be known and not loved is our greatest fear. But to be fully known and truly loved is, well, a lot like being beloved by God. It is what we need more than anything. It liberates us from pretense, humbles us out of our self-righteousness, and fortifies us for any difficulty life can throw at us."

This quote by Vanessa Diffenbaugh highlights the importance of being known and loved authentically. To be loved without full understanding or knowledge is pleasant but shallow; it provides a sense of comfort without addressing deeper insecurities or flaws. On the other hand, to be known and not loved is terrifying because it exposes our vulnerabilities and imperfections to someone who may reject us. However, when we are fully understood and deeply loved, we experience a liberating and empowering connection similar to how one feels about being beloved by God. This level of genuine love allows us to cast off pretenses, acknowledges our shortcomings, and equips us to face life's challenges with courage.


"There are some who bring darkness to the world around them, but it's within those who are victim to their actions that true light shines forth."

This quote suggests that while some individuals may spread negativity or harm in the world (bring darkness), it is the resilience and strength shown by those affected (who are victims of these actions) that truly radiates light. The light symbolizes hope, courage, and the human capacity for healing and growth in adversity.


"The scars we endure in life make us who we are. They are not reminders of pain, but signs that we have been through something that could easily kill us and didn't."

This quote emphasizes the idea that our struggles and hardships play a significant role in shaping our identity and resilience. The scars we acquire from life's challenges are not just symbols of past pain, but they serve as reminders of our strength and survival. They represent milestones in our personal journey, demonstrating our ability to endure adversity and emerge stronger.


"It's a truth universally acknowledged that people only see what they want to see and ignore the rest."

This quote suggests that human perception is often selective, influenced by personal biases, beliefs, or desires. People tend to focus on information that aligns with their preconceived notions, while overlooking or disregarding evidence that contradicts them. In essence, the quote highlights the tendency for individuals to validate their own perspectives rather than objectively evaluate the facts, leading to potential misunderstandings and miscommunication in various aspects of life.


I've worked with homeless kids, kids in foster care, and I've never met a kid who couldn't be reached.

- Vanessa Diffenbaugh

Never, Worked, Foster, Homeless

We all make mistakes, and we all need second chances. For youth in foster care, these mistakes are often purposeful - if not consciously so; a way to test the strength of a bond and establish trust in a new parent.

- Vanessa Diffenbaugh

Strength, Trust, Parent, Purposeful

At Camellia Network, we believe if we can create a way of identifying every young person aging out of foster care, defining what they need, and giving a community of supporters a simple and clear way to fulfill those needs, we can produce radically improved outcomes for youth.

- Vanessa Diffenbaugh

Young, Identifying, Fulfill, Defining

The Victorian language of flowers began with the publication of 'Le Language des Fleurs,' written by Charlotte de Latour and printed in Paris in 1819. To create the book - which was a list of flowers and their meanings - de Latour gathered references to flower symbolism throughout poetry, ancient mythology, and even medicine.

- Vanessa Diffenbaugh

Book, Language, References, Printed

It is stories - both real and fictional - that can captivate hearts, change minds and, in the most powerful examples, spur action.

- Vanessa Diffenbaugh

Change, Real, Stories, Fictional

My husband and I vowed that after we married and settled down, we would become foster parents - a vow we kept and one that has enriched our lives greatly.

- Vanessa Diffenbaugh

Lives, Settled, Enriched, Vow

I'm missing work. We didn't have enough money for preschool. I had a panic attack. I couldn't do it. I became one of those horrible foster parents who give the kids back.

- Vanessa Diffenbaugh

Work, Give, Became, Missing

I never really considered writing something that was nonfiction.

- Vanessa Diffenbaugh

Writing, Never, Considered, Nonfiction

I traveled a full two years with 'Language of Flowers.'

- Vanessa Diffenbaugh

Flowers, Language, Two, Traveled

I am not only the person who wrote and sold a novel while raising a houseful of biological and foster children; I am also the person who wrote a horrific young adult novel that never sold and gave up on a foster child I couldn't handle - an experience that still haunts me.

- Vanessa Diffenbaugh

Experience, Young, While, Biological

There's still something so pure and heartfelt and emotional and genuine about a bouquet of flowers that, even with all the advances of technology and the millions of ways we have to communicate with each other, flowers are still relevant in my opinion.

- Vanessa Diffenbaugh

Communicate, Other, About, Bouquet

I wanted to write with emotional honesty and tell a story people could connect with. And I wanted people to know how the foster system in America fails children; and how, at 18, they fall through the cracks. Then we can all work together and give support.

- Vanessa Diffenbaugh

America, Through, Tell, Cracks

Though politics is by nature divisive, surely we all can agree that foster children need stability, safety, education, opportunity - and love.

- Vanessa Diffenbaugh

Love, Politics, Divisive, Stability

You have to really prove yourself to young people, and if your answer is clear and consistent and loving - even if it's angry and disappointed - what's important is that you're being real and honest and not going anywhere.

- Vanessa Diffenbaugh

Young, Prove, Your, Being Real

There aren't always, especially in low-income communities, the arts and the dance and the drama and the things that can really show a kid, 'Look, even if I'm three years behind in math, there's something I'm good at that can help me be successful in life.'

- Vanessa Diffenbaugh

Kid, Behind, Show, Communities

I founded Camellia Network with my dear friend Isis Dallis Keigwin. The mission of our organization is to create a national network that connects every youth aging out of foster care to the critical resources, opportunities, and support they need to thrive in adulthood.

- Vanessa Diffenbaugh

Youth, Critical, Our, Thrive

Every second I have spare, I'm with my kids.

- Vanessa Diffenbaugh

Spare, Every, Second, Every Second

We are more and more into technology. Everything is texting, and everything is instant. Flowers are completely impractical as a method of communication when you could just send a text.

- Vanessa Diffenbaugh

Flowers, More, Method, Send

I'm very interested in getting inside the heads of people society discards, people on the fringe, especially immigrant kids. We dismiss them without getting into details of who they are.

- Vanessa Diffenbaugh

Very, Them, Fringe, Dismiss

I think that the hardest thing about working with young people in foster care who've been through this kind of neglect and abuse is really to convince them that they are worthy of being loved. And I think because often they don't feel worthy of it, that's why they push people away.

- Vanessa Diffenbaugh

Through, Been, I Think, Push

My husband was working as principal of an urban transformation high school - the kind of public charter school determined to do whatever it takes to give its mostly minority, low-income student body the education they need and deserve to be successful in life.

- Vanessa Diffenbaugh

Education, Student, Mostly, Minority

The names of common flowers change from decade to decade, so I spent a lot of time with old outdated dictionaries, with awful flower names like 'mouse-eared chickweed.'

- Vanessa Diffenbaugh

Flowers, Decade, Like, Outdated

I have spent a lot of time with foster children over the years - kids for whom I have not necessarily acted as a foster parent.

- Vanessa Diffenbaugh

Parent, Over, Spent, Acted

We were pressured to accept kids we were not qualified to handle. And we do that to people all the time, which is why we don't have enough foster parents.

- Vanessa Diffenbaugh

Why, Qualified, Which, Pressured

I was a screenwriting and studio art major in college, so even though I don't have any training as a floral designer, I have a very particular visual aesthetic.

- Vanessa Diffenbaugh

College, Aesthetic, Studio, Screenwriting

I did a minor in creative writing in college, but I didn't start writing until I stayed at home with my own children.

- Vanessa Diffenbaugh

College, My Own, Minor, Creative Writing

Our standards for motherhood are so high that many of us harbor intense, secret guilt for every harsh word we speak to our children, every negative thought that enters our minds.

- Vanessa Diffenbaugh

Thought, Guilt, Harbor, Intense

I don't think there is anything magical about the language of flowers in real life or in my book.

- Vanessa Diffenbaugh

Flowers, Book, Think, Real Life

First drafts are never any good - at least, mine aren't.

- Vanessa Diffenbaugh

Never, Mine, Least, Drafts

I've always loved the language of flowers. I discovered Kate Greenaway's 'Language of Flowers' in a used bookstore when I was 16 and couldn't believe it was such a well-kept secret. How could something so beautiful and romantic be virtually unknown?

- Vanessa Diffenbaugh

Language, Used, Discovered, Bookstore

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