Timothy Simons Quotes

I started out with the intention of studying physics. I was a terrible high school student outside of the fact that I did well in physics, but there's a big difference between being good at physics and being a physicist, so I jettisoned that very quickly.

- Timothy Simons

There is that great thing of D.C. being Hollywood for ugly people. There's very distinct crossover behaviors.

- Timothy Simons

I don't know, and certainly I've been guilty of making a judgment about a celebrity, but there's a part of me that's like, 'Why don't you take the time you're spending ripping James Franco and go do something you like?'

- Timothy Simons

I think the absolute worst job I ever had - not because it was a terrible job, just because I was just so bad at it - was when I worked at a scenic factory in Chicago.

- Timothy Simons

I used to love going to shows and finding new bands, but the Internet takes the fun out of it. Like a band? You can buy and download every single song they have ever done within five minutes.

- Timothy Simons

I was born in the Northeast, and I have Midwestern parents.

- Timothy Simons

I'm very much in favor of vaccinations, and I've been very vocal about that because it's insane to forgo this.

- Timothy Simons

I was born tall. I was awkward and gangly. Before that, I was a really chubby elementary school kid. I've always been sort of a physical abnormality.

- Timothy Simons

I'll believe I made it when I'm 100 years old, I'm still able to get work, and they're about to put me in a coffin, and I'll be like, 'Yeah, OK, it went all right.' But until then, I'm not saying it.

- Timothy Simons

I got my SAG card doing a Kentucky Fried Chicken commercial in Chicago.

- Timothy Simons

It's so odd because I don't even know if I'm cut out for it, but being a movie star guy, I sort of end up gravitating toward the Coen brothers. That's one of the reasons my wife and I moved to L.A.: that however much of a pipe dream that would be, I moved to L.A. because I'd love to work with the Coen brothers.

- Timothy Simons

My dad's a photographer, and my sister is a writer and a poet. My little brother is a mandolin player - he's a bluegrass musician. It's always been a part of the family.

- Timothy Simons

Reed Scott is really good at coming up with insults.

- Timothy Simons

I think I was a behavior problem, mostly, but in a fun way. I tried to tell jokes. I was the middle kid, so I was always looking for attention and trying to be the one that equalized everything.

- Timothy Simons

I like sort of esoteric and weird Twitter jokes. But I actually unfollow people if they make jokes about a celebrity's death within the first two minutes of that celebrity dying.

- Timothy Simons

I've lived with myself for a very long time, so I'm aware of what I look like. I'm under no false pretense that I'm a stunner, so if somebody comes up and says something about my physical appearance, it's okay.

- Timothy Simons

The one thing I always think about when I don't get jobs is that it just wasn't yours. You don't want to do something that you're not right for because it won't make the production look good, and it won't make you look good.

- Timothy Simons

If you're going to go to an audition, you don't want to go in trying to force yourself into some archetype that has been thought up by a director and translated by a casting director.

- Timothy Simons

My first job in L.A. was actually playing an employee in a Best Buy commercial, but I played a bad employee at another store. I also worked at a commercial casting company running cameras and session directing.

- Timothy Simons

I really wanted to go to a city and get involved in a theater scene and a theater community. I had some friends who had moved out to Chicago and had said really good things about it and about the work. I didn't care at that time about making money.

- Timothy Simons

Truthfully, I don't like the binge-watching model. I think that if you give everybody everything all at once, there's very much a law of diminishing returns as far as their enjoyment of them.

- Timothy Simons

When I was in Chicago, I was working as a carpenter while I was doing plays. I thought it'd be a fun set construction job, but it turned up to just be a straight-up factory.

- Timothy Simons

When I was a carpenter, I built sets for small storefront Chicago companies. Like, I built sets for friends of mine at The House Theater.

- Timothy Simons

We live in a world in which whatever you do has a parody account online in moments.

- Timothy Simons

There is a part of me that really just thinks it would be so funny to see the 'Veep' characters in 'Game of Thrones.'

- Timothy Simons

It's much harder to get a job if nobody wants you around.

- Timothy Simons

You don't want someone to think you're from New Hampshire, because who cares about New Hampshire? You're basically just a pass-through.

- Timothy Simons

You're taught from a very young age that you shouldn't get too big for your britches, so I tend to err way too much on the side of 'Nothing means anything.'

- Timothy Simons

Keeping children alive and free of disease is not a political issue and cannot be put into a partisan box.

- Timothy Simons

David Letterman was my guy growing up. My parents recorded the tenth anniversary special for me, and I watched it 40 times.

- Timothy Simons

I'm a night person, but because of being in the film business and having children, my schedule has shifted, and I'm always terrified that I'm going to oversleep.

- Timothy Simons

My dad was a photographer, so we had all these studio portraits of us.

- Timothy Simons

I've done a pretty good job of curating a Twitter feed that doesn't make me hate the world.

- Timothy Simons

After school, I was planning to jump from regional theater to regional theater.

- Timothy Simons

I grew up in Maine working at a video store and found myself being pulled more and more to on-camera stuff.

- Timothy Simons

The truth is, there is no link between vaccines and autism. Vaccines are incredibly important.

- Timothy Simons

The Duplass brothers do that so well - that very simple, very horrifically awkward comedy.

- Timothy Simons

I'm saying nothing new that Dave Pasquesi is really good at what he does.

- Timothy Simons

Ultimately, I just made the decision to move to L.A. sight unseen. It took me a while to save up some money to do it.

- Timothy Simons

I'm particularly bad at breaking if something's funny. I'm not professional, so I do often laugh, but less at what I do and more often at what other people do.

- Timothy Simons

Unless you're playing a historical figure, a writer or director can change their minds. And sometimes your job is to make them change their minds - to make them believe that you're the one that can do it.

- Timothy Simons

My children, twins who are three years old, they're awful creatures right now.

- Timothy Simons

I took one class at Second City called Improv for Actors, and that was it, and that was only because my agent told me I had to.

- Timothy Simons

I don't have actors in my family, but everyone is pretty artistic.

- Timothy Simons

I'm a dog person, but I don't have a pet.

- Timothy Simons

If you didn't watch 'The Shield,' you should stop everything you are doing and go back and watch 'The Shield.'

- Timothy Simons