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Tiffany Haddish Quotes

Powerful Tiffany Haddish for Daily Growth

No matter what the situation, I try to have fun. I get pulled over by the police, I'm like, 'Oh, this going to be the best arrest ever.' And I end up making friends with these police officers.

- Tiffany Haddish

Best, Police Officers, Arrest

When I got emancipated from the foster care program and I became homeless, it was a struggle. I was working at an airline, and then I stopped to pursue comedy 110%.

- Tiffany Haddish

Comedy, Became, Stopped, Homeless

In stand-up, you do need to be having fun up there, like Richard Pryor said, but you have to know yourself well, too... You start learning, and it's like playing a piano. You know exactly what keys to stroke, 'cause really, with comedy, you're, like, fiddling with people's souls.

- Tiffany Haddish

Know Yourself, Keys, Pryor, Fiddling

I learned from Roger Rabbit that if you make people laugh, they'll do anything for you - which is almost true.

- Tiffany Haddish

Which, Learned, Almost, Rabbit

Arnold Schwarzenegger didn't become Mr. Universe because he went to the gym every now and then. He did it on a regular basis. It's the same thing with comedy. I try to perform seven nights a week.

- Tiffany Haddish

Week, Seven, Same Thing, Now And Then

I've studied Charlie Chaplin for years. I've studied Lucille Ball, Carol Burnett, all of them. I don't play around. This is not a game.

- Tiffany Haddish

Game, Play, Studied, Carol

When I pick my greens, right, I smile. I smile when I pick the greens, and when I wash the greens, I smile. Then when I cut them up, I smile. And then when I cook them, I smile. They call it joyful greens.

- Tiffany Haddish

Cook, Wash, Cut, Greens

I'm not really into politics, but if I had my own country, I would make sure all my people were educated and figuring out what they love to do, and focusing on that.

- Tiffany Haddish

Love, Politics, Country, Figuring

For any women trying to do comedy, I would suggest you do one thing every day towards your goal. First, you figure out what it is you want to accomplish. Don't be afraid to set a new goal every day, but every single day, do one thing towards your goal, and you will achieve it.

- Tiffany Haddish

Every Day, Achieve, Your, Every Single Day

I'm so sleepy most of the time, but I guess it's 'cause I'm constantly doing things and trying to move forward and set up for the master plan. The master plan is to be, like, little baby Oprah, with my own production company, maybe my own channel, inspire millions.

- Tiffany Haddish

Doing, Production, Maybe, Master Plan

I surf. I would love to do a remake of 'Gidget.' It could be, like, black 'Gidget.'

- Tiffany Haddish

Love, Surf, Would, Remake

The last bag that I bought myself was a Madden Girl backpack that's really cute. And it was on sale for $45! I'm probably going to be cheap with my money for a long time.

- Tiffany Haddish

Going, Last, Bought, Backpack

When my people are dying, that's when you gonna catch me protesting. I'm not gonna protest because somebody got offered not the amount of money they wanted to get offered. If you don't like what they're offering you, just no longer do business with them.

- Tiffany Haddish

Dying, Got, Offered, Protesting

Any comedic roles that I've gone out for usually end up going to a white woman or a gay man instead.

- Tiffany Haddish

Woman, Going, Roles, Comedic

I've always been outwardly personal. I've always been that chick. A lot of my friends be like, 'TMI, Tiffany, TMI.' I just feel like it's important to share your experience on this Earth, because you never know who's watching, who might be going through the same thing, who might feel devastated.

- Tiffany Haddish

Through, Been, Same Thing, Devastated

I always bring at least 15 to 20 percent of Tiffany to every character that I do. Like when I read 'Girls Trip,' I was like, 'Who been partying with me? Somebody been hanging out with me and done stole some stuff.'

- Tiffany Haddish

Some, Bring, Been, Stole

I did tell the census man I was white, and I'm telling you, I started getting offers for the black American Express card in the mail.

- Tiffany Haddish

Mail, Telling, Offers, Card

There are a lot of comedians that were bullied and picked on, and that's why they became comedians. Survival of the fittest.

- Tiffany Haddish

Comedians, Lot, Became, Bullied

Being on stage is, like, my favorite. The immediate gratification. That's my favorite.

- Tiffany Haddish

Stage, Like, Immediate, Gratification

When I was younger, I barely talked. I was scared of people. I had to learn how to cultivate that confidence.

- Tiffany Haddish

How, Younger, Talked, Scared

I did this movie called 'Their Eyes Were Watching God,' and I was an extra, and it was a movie that Oprah was producing. She had walked by, and I was making all the other extras laugh, and she said, 'You're a very funny young lady.' I was like, 'Eeeee!'

- Tiffany Haddish

Movie, Other, Very, Extra

People always tell me, 'You should do drama. You should do drama.' Even when I first got an agent, they were like, 'We want to send you out to be dramatic.' And I'm like, 'No. I'm a comedian. I'm funny. I want to do funny stuff.'

- Tiffany Haddish

Always, Like, Agent, Send

Every teacher that I've ever had, that I still remember their name, made me laugh. I feel like comedy is the best instrument to teach.

- Tiffany Haddish

Like, Made, Still, Laugh

The body is a universal language. Because if you spoke French, and I speak English, but I move like this or do certain movements, I can still make you smile and laugh.

- Tiffany Haddish

Spoke, Move, Still, Laugh

I'm open to whatever God puts in front of me and makes my heart pitter patter.

- Tiffany Haddish

Me, Makes, Puts, Open

I always feel like when I work with people, I work with everybody - from the person that's working the camera to the person that's running the water to the person that's putting the clothes on me, the person that's combing my hair, my makeup, the person that's like, 'You gotta sign these papers.' I try to hang out with everybody.

- Tiffany Haddish

Makeup, Hang, Everybody, Camera

I feel like a foster kid that's been in the system for a long time, and then at 16, somebody adopted them and said, 'You can go to college, and you ain't got to pay no student loans.' I feel happy. I feel accepted after all these years of blood, sweat, and tears.

- Tiffany Haddish

College, Tears, Been, Adopted

My therapist was like, 'What brings joy to your heart?' And I was like, 'I like to see teeth. I guess maybe I should have been a dentist.'

- Tiffany Haddish

Like, Been, Maybe, Dentist

I wanna meet Meryl Streep, so she can be my mama. I want Meryl Streep to be my mom in a movie.

- Tiffany Haddish

Want, Movie, Meryl, Mama

I tried to join three gangs, and every single one gave me a different excuse, but it was pretty much along the lines of, 'You're too goofy. You're too cute. You don't fit in.'

- Tiffany Haddish

Three, Goofy, Pretty, Lines

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