Steve Harvey Quotes

I won an amateur night, October 8th, 1985. I went to work the next day and quit my job.

- Steve Harvey

Work, Night, Next, Amateur

The first time I saw my wife, Marjorie, I was doing stand-up in Memphis, and she was sitting in the front row. Afterward, I walked up and said, 'Ma'am, I'm going to marry you one day.' And 15 years later, I did.

- Steve Harvey

Doing, One Day, Marry, Memphis

A guy that's really serious about you, he's gotta be talking to you, he's gotta want to have one-on-one, in-your-face interaction. That's how we are.

- Steve Harvey

Want, One-On-One, Gotta, Interaction

I had, like, 11 jobs. I've been fired 11 times! 'Cause I'm not cut for that. You know, I was a great employee, man. Everybody loved me coming to work - I'm singing, tellin' jokes on the assembly line. I was miserable, man. I was dying. I was dying.

- Steve Harvey

Been, Everybody, Cut, Employee

You can take lessons to become almost anything: flying lessons, piano lessons, skydiving lessons, acting lessons, race car driving lessons, singing lessons. But there's no class for comedy. You have to be born with it. God has to give you this gift.

- Steve Harvey

Gift, Skydiving, Almost, Race Car

I don't rehearse on either of my shows, 'Family Feud' or my talk show. I never rehearse with the guests. I don't want to have any preconceived thoughts, notions, because that kills my creativity as a host and as a stand up.

- Steve Harvey

Talk Show, Show, Either, Guests

I think that we, as the African-American men in hip-hop, we have a greater responsibly because we have the ears of so many millions of our young people. And they listenin'.

- Steve Harvey

Think, Young, I Think, African-American

I don't have much of an attention span for TV - I nod off during the basketball playoffs - but when I watch 'Game of Thrones' on On Demand, I'm glued to the set. It's mystical and addictive. Tyrion Lannister, that's my man.

- Steve Harvey

Game, TV, Nod, Game Of Thrones

I sit my three sons down and say, 'Listen to me. When the police stop you, immediately comply. Don't walk away, don't smart-mouth; get your hands up and get down on the ground.' If you're not black, you might not have to have that conversation, but I go over and over it with them because I don't want that phone call.

- Steve Harvey

Hands, Over It, Away, Comply

I'm just a living witness that you can be an imperfect soldier and still be in the army fighting for God Almighty. Don't you think you got to be perfect 'cause I ain't.

- Steve Harvey

Think, Living, Still, Imperfect

Women are the real reason we get up every day. I'm talking about real men. If there were no women, I would not even have to bathe, because why would I care? These are guys I'm hanging with. I wake up for a woman every day of my life to make it happen for her.

- Steve Harvey

My Life, Reason, Bathe, Women Are

If you'd asked me then if I saw how big 'The Steve Harvey Morning Show' was going to be, I couldn't tell you. But I knew I could reach people not as a character but as Steve Harvey, because although I tell jokes for a living, I've also lived, and I think I can relate to you more than you know.

- Steve Harvey

Reach, Big, I Think, Harvey

I'm not a doctor. I just have a tremendous amount of common sense.

- Steve Harvey

Doctor, Common, Amount, Common Sense

I have seen some crazy people do some crazy things on my variety show. I have to stop and ask them a lot of the time, just how they figured out that they could do the things that they do, some of it is just plain freaky.

- Steve Harvey

Some, Could, Crazy Things, Freaky

I'm going to take this God-given gift of being funny, and I'm going to spread it out like peanut butter on everything I do.

- Steve Harvey

Gift, Being Funny, Butter, God-Given

I'm not a relationship expert. I'm an expert on manhood.

- Steve Harvey

Relationship, Expert, Manhood

I'm not really a relationship expert but... I'm an expert on manhood and what men think.

- Steve Harvey

Men, Think, Expert, Manhood

I'd have to say I'm most proud of my mentoring camp that I do in Dallas every year for one hundred boys from single-parent homes. I was raised by a mother who was a Sunday school teacher and a father who worked hard. Together they taught me to give back.

- Steve Harvey

Dallas, Year, Hundred, Camp

The best timed joke or the best timed phrase comes at spontaneous moments and just relies on me as the host to be very quick, and that's what I do.

- Steve Harvey

Best, Quick, Very, Spontaneous

I never say 'nagging.' I think that 'nagging' is a term that men created to get women to pipe down some. But, it's a trap that we've created. We created several terms for women to back you down. Nagging means to stop asking me questions, then we get away with more. I think it's a term men created.

- Steve Harvey

Some, Away, I Think, Pipe

My father instilled in me to take care of my family. Show up even when you don't want to show up.

- Steve Harvey

Father, Want, Show, Instilled

Hip-hop is a beautiful thing. I think that the music genre itself has created more millionaires than any other music genre before it, especially in our community.

- Steve Harvey

Think, Other, I Think, Beautiful Thing

All I knew growing up was that my father was married to and loved my momma, period. He worked hard, made some money, and put it on the dresser. She spent it on the family, and he went out and earned some more. He taught me the most about love.

- Steve Harvey

Love, Father, Some, Dresser

I tell jokes for a check; I'm on TV for a check.

- Steve Harvey

Tell, Check, TV, Jokes

I don't want to be 60 years old standing on stage telling some jokes. I want my life to mean something.

- Steve Harvey

My Life, Some, Telling, Jokes

Comedians walk out, get a feel for the crowd. If it's not going good, we change directions. If we got to drag your momma into this thing, we will. Whatever we got to do.

- Steve Harvey

Will, Crowd, Going, Drag

People see me laughing and telling jokes, but they had no idea after the show was over, I had no joy in my life, in my heart.

- Steve Harvey

My Life, Over, Telling, Jokes

I think there are so many books out there written on relationships and romance that women are the authors of. How can women know exactly how men think? And there are so many guys out there with relationship books who are just not telling the truth. They have shaded parts.

- Steve Harvey

Romance, I Think, Telling, Authors

Hollywood is run by people who sit up in their executive office, who are not connected to Mississippi, Alabama, Chicago, South Carolina. They know nothing about that, they don't go to church, and they make their decisions about what they think is right.

- Steve Harvey

Church, Hollywood, South, Sit

I don't want people to see me fall. I mean, I got enough people cheering for me to fall now... The Internet has created some amazing place for evil to exist, you dig?

- Steve Harvey

Dig, Some, Created, Enough People

One of the biggest misconceptions that a woman has is that a man has to accept her the way she is. No, we don't. I don't know who told you that. We like the bright and shiny. If you stop wearing the makeup, stop putting on nail polish, stop wearing high heels, you'll lose us.

- Steve Harvey

Woman, Makeup, Putting, Misconceptions

I never in my life saw myself as a game show host. I don't want to be a traffic cop.

- Steve Harvey

Game, My Life, Game Show, Traffic

I ain't no author, man... my writing skills are not of 'New York Times' best-seller quality, trust and believe it ain't. My vocabulary ain't.

- Steve Harvey

Trust, New, Author, Best-Seller

To be No. 1 on the 'New York Times' best-seller list, well, that's alarming. Having been a stand-up comedian, I think it's surprising to a lot of people that I had the insight I had.

- Steve Harvey

Been, I Think, Alarming, Best-Seller

My calling is to help people, to teach people, to share with people, until I die. I can never stop doing that. I can't, and I don't want to.

- Steve Harvey

Die, Doing, Teach, Never Stop

Being on a comedy tour is like traveling with family, everyone is all having a great time... then all of a sudden it turns sour. One thing gets said out of turn, and everyone is on everyone's last nerve. After an hour of silence, we all start laughing about it.

- Steve Harvey

Turn, Great Time, About, Laughing

If a man loves you... he's willing to profess it. He'll give you a title after a while. You're going to be his lady, his woman, his fiancee, his wife, his baby's mama, something.

- Steve Harvey

Woman, Give, Profess, Fiancee

I don't have 'The Jerry Springer Show'. I just got 'Family Feud', but some of them families, when they lose, man, they have some real conversations with each other back behind that wall, but I've never been involved in any of them.

- Steve Harvey

Behind, Some, Other, Jerry

You have nothing if you're texting a guy in a relationship. We can text six women a minute. We can text it and push 'reply all.' I mean, since we're lying, we might as well lie to everybody.

- Steve Harvey

Might, Everybody, Six, Push

I take my brand very seriously.

- Steve Harvey

Seriously, Very, Take, Brand

As always, whenever I'm contacted by the White House, I'm just humbled.

- Steve Harvey

White, Always, Whenever, White House

I got married for the wrong reasons. I was tired of being alone. I have to own that. It was me, not her.

- Steve Harvey

Tired, Own, Reasons, Being Alone

My color's not a crutch. See, funny crosses a lot of color barriers.

- Steve Harvey

See, Barriers, Lot, Crosses

My mother raised me in the church. I was not allowed to stay home on Sunday; there was no option. I sang in the choir all the way up until I went to college.

- Steve Harvey

College, Church, Allowed, Choir

You've got to quit lowering your standards. Set your requirements up front so when a guy hooks you, he has to know this is business.

- Steve Harvey

Business, Requirements, Set, Front

There has been nothing more impactful on my life and meaningful to me than the introduction of Christ. That, hands down, blows away every joke I've ever written.

- Steve Harvey

My Life, Christ, Been, Blows

I tell my boys not to play rough with their younger sister. I try to teach them what I know already: You're never going to win an argument with a girl, so just let her have what she wants!

- Steve Harvey

Play, Argument, Rough, Sister

Every day, President Obama sends a beautiful message about how we should treat our women based on how he treats his wife. When people went after his wife during the campaign, he took a stand.

- Steve Harvey

Treat, Every Day, Obama, Sends

You've got to be vulnerable when you're talking to kids. There's nothing worse than some adult standing up there just talking down to some kid. You can't work that way.

- Steve Harvey

Work, Nothing, Some, Standing Up

God lets you be successful because he trusts you that you will do the right thing with it. Now, does he get disappointed often? All the time, because people get there and they forget how they got it.

- Steve Harvey

Success, Will, Lets, Disappointed

A person has to remember that the road to success is always under construction. You have to get that through your head. That it is not easy becoming successful.

- Steve Harvey

Through, Always, Becoming, Successful

Men don't come up to you to just talk. We come up to you with a plan. We're looking across the room at you, and we don't care about your hopes and dreams. We don't care about what your future holds. We saw something we wanted.

- Steve Harvey

Come, About, Saw, Hopes

My mother was a Sunday school teacher. So I am a byproduct of prayer. My mom just kept on praying for her son.

- Steve Harvey

Mom, Kept, Am, Praying

I tell people I'm a stand-up comedian two hours a week. The rest of the time, I'm somebody's husband, I'm somebody's father. I'm a man. I take great pride in that.

- Steve Harvey

Rest, Week, Hours, Comedian

I'm a comedian first. I've learned how to act. I just draw on life experiences and that's how I've learned. I didn't take classes or anything. I don't need no classroom.

- Steve Harvey

Need, Learned, Classes, Comedian

The problem is, women have stopped setting the bar high.

- Steve Harvey

Problem, High, Stopped, Bar

I know how men think when they're not responding to questions in a clinical study.

- Steve Harvey

Think, How, Clinical, Responding

Other than my foundation - mentoring programs - everything I do is for money.

- Steve Harvey

Money, Other, Than, Programs

My marriage to Marjorie is the most rewarding thing that ever happened to me. She gave me a life and a relationship that I didn't know existed.

- Steve Harvey

Life, Rewarding, Happened, Gave

When you're happy at home, you can make a lot of things happen.

- Steve Harvey

Happy, Happen, Lot, Things Happen

Failure is a great teacher, and I think when you make mistakes and you recover from them and you treat them as valuable learning experiences, then you've got something to share.

- Steve Harvey

Teacher, Treat, Think, Valuable

I don't think it's cool for people to say, 'You shouldn't reference God because I don't believe that, and I don't want to hear it.' Well, there's a lot of stuff I don't believe that I still gotta hear.

- Steve Harvey

Cool, Think, Still, Reference

From the time I was taught how to drive, I was taught how to behave when I'm stopped.

- Steve Harvey

How, Taught, Stopped, Behave

I pay attention to every minute of the day.

- Steve Harvey

Pay Attention, Pay, Every, Minute

You can be happy, or you can be right. If you want to be part of a couple and win every argument, you're in trouble.

- Steve Harvey

Happy, Argument, Couple, Trouble

If you cook something on the show, and I don't like it, I'm going to tell you. I don't understand how you could watch any of these morning shows, and everything everybody cooks is absolutely delicious. Are you kidding me, man?

- Steve Harvey

Tell, Show, Everybody, Cooks

I'm not a good mother at all.

- Steve Harvey

Mother, Good, Good Mother

You can't go forward and backwards at the same time.

- Steve Harvey

Forward, Same, Same Time, Backwards

We all think that this relationship thing is a game out here. All I'm saying to women is, 'Okay. If it's a game, here are the rules that we play by.'

- Steve Harvey

Play, Here, Okay, Out Here

How can smart women be so stupid about men sometimes? Lack of knowledge. It's what men have kept secret for so long.

- Steve Harvey

Stupid, Sometimes, About, Smart

I never saw myself not being a stand-up. That was my plan.

- Steve Harvey

Myself, Never, Saw, Plan

I just believe if you don't believe in God, then where is your moral barometer? That's just me talking. You can believe what you want to believe.

- Steve Harvey

Believe, Want, Barometer, Moral

God has given me a life far beyond anything I ever dreamed about. God is, man, God is something else man.

- Steve Harvey

About, Given, Something Else, Dreamed

You've got to be in a bad relationship to really understand what a great one is.

- Steve Harvey

Relationship, Bad, Got, Understand

The Lord saved my soul.

- Steve Harvey

Soul, My Soul, Lord, Saved

All men can and will change. But there's only one woman we're going to change for.

- Steve Harvey

Men, Will, Going, Woman

There's a lot more to me than just funny.

- Steve Harvey

More, Than, Lot, Funny

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