Ours is a government of checks and balances. The Mafia and crooked businessmen make out checks, and the politicians and other compromised officials improve their bank balances.
- Steve Allen
Mafia, Politicians, Other, Businessmen
Humor is a social lubricant that helps us get over some of the bad spots.
- Steve Allen
Humor, Some, Over, Spots
If the Old Testament were a reliable guide in the matter of capital punishment, half the people in the United States would have to be killed tomorrow.
- Steve Allen
United States, Capital, Half, Guide
In a rational society we would want our presidents to be teachers. In our actual society we insist they be cheerleaders.
- Steve Allen
Society, Actual, Would, Rational
The hair is real - it's the head that's a fake.
- Steve Allen
Hair, Real, Head, Fake
I used to be a heavy gambler. But now I just make mental bets. That's how I lost my mind.
- Steve Allen
Mind, Mental, Used, Bets
Dark energy is perhaps the biggest mystery in physics.
- Steve Allen
Mystery, Perhaps, Biggest, Physics
One of the nice things about problems is that a good many of them do not exist except in our imaginations.
- Steve Allen
About, Them, Many, Nice Things
Asthma doesn't seem to bother me any more unless I'm around cigars or dogs. The thing that would bother me most would be a dog smoking a cigar.
- Steve Allen
More, Bother, Any, Asthma
If there is a God, the phrase that must disgust him is - holy war.
- Steve Allen
War, Holy, Must, Phrase
Totalitarianism is patriotism institutionalized.
- Steve Allen
Patriotism, Totalitarianism
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