Ray Romano Quotes

Everyone should have kids. They are the greatest joy in the world. But they are also terrorists. You'll realize this as soon as they're born, and they start using sleep deprivation to break you.

- Ray Romano

Everyone, Break, Using, Deprivation

Anna would be just as happy with me if I were a plumber. As a matter of fact, when she married me, I was working at a bank and living at home. I didn't move out until I was 29!

- Ray Romano

Living, Fact, Move, Plumber

If I'm really considering doing film from now on then that is the smart thing to do, or you can go either way. You can just do the same character over and over again and make a different comedy like over and over again.

- Ray Romano

Doing, Over, Like, Considering

I'm at an age where crying is easier for me now. I like it. I can cry at a poignant commercial; I can cry at a - this is a running joke in my house, but... a good 'Star-Spangled Banner' can make me cry. I'm not kidding.

- Ray Romano

Commercial, Like, Banner, Crying

You're only as good as your last joke, your last show, your last whatever. The confidence is there, but underneath, there is always insecurity.

- Ray Romano

Confidence, Always, Last, Joke

The comics that are just conversing with you up there and drawing on their own life, yeah, I guess so. I guess some do political humor, some do topical humor, but the ones that I like, the ones that are appealing to me, were guys who were just talking to you about their life.

- Ray Romano

Own, Some, Comics, Topical

Right after 'Raymond' I had a world-is-my-oyster attitude, but I found out I don't like oysters. I had this existential emptiness. 'What is my purpose? Who am I?' I had a big identity crisis.

- Ray Romano

Big, Crisis, Oysters, Emptiness

Every backstory involves my father. I remember hearing Gary Oldman talking about backstories and saying, 'I got to stop using my father...' And I feel the same way. I don't know. What I come up with always involves some element of this son trying to prove himself to his father.

- Ray Romano

I Remember, Some, Prove, None

I feel like this is a dream - and I apologize for how I dressed some of you.

- Ray Romano

Some, How, Like, Apologize

I'm a little different from the average dude because I'm on high-def TV now.

- Ray Romano

Now, Average, TV, Dude

I would get my student loans, get money, register and never really go. It was a system I thought would somehow pan out.

- Ray Romano

Thought, Student, Loans, Pan

The successful golfers - they're like astronauts or pilots. They have that demeanor that they can focus and stay within that one moment and nothing distracts them. That's not me.

- Ray Romano

Pilots, Astronauts, Demeanor, Golfers

The only thing I miss from the sitcom format is that immediate gratification of when you're, if we're talking about comedy, of the live audience.

- Ray Romano

Comedy, Audience, Live Audience

The best comedy, I feel, comes in a drama because it balances each other out.

- Ray Romano

Comedy, Drama, Other, Balances

When you go to standup, there seems to be a common denominator of some form of need or want for validation from the audience that maybe you were lacking as a kid.

- Ray Romano

Audience, Need, Some, Common Denominator

It seems to be a common denominator with a lot of comics, this low self-esteem thing.

- Ray Romano

Self-Esteem, Common, Lot, Common Denominator

I think that as actors age, the work becomes more organic to them.

- Ray Romano

Work, Think, I Think, Organic

People are going to see both of us and think it's an Abbott and Costello kind of thing. It's not an easy switch. It's not an easy transition from TV to film.

- Ray Romano

Think, TV, Costello, Transition

The first time I played golf was in Flushing Meadows, Queens, when I was about 16 or 17. They had an 18-hole pitch-and-putt. My buddies and I would hop the fence and sneak on and play.

- Ray Romano

Play, About, Hop, Meadows

My career has been my craziest adventure.

- Ray Romano

Adventure, Career, Been, Craziest

I've always wondered, what am I going to do that's important with these stupid jokes that I tell.

- Ray Romano

Stupid, Important, Always, Jokes

When I started out, Jay Leno used to say you're not as good as you think you can be until at least your sixth year. I was like, what the hell is he talking about? 'Cause I was in my third year, and I thought, 'I got this.' I kept videos of myself performing, and in my fifth year I watched my third year and realized he couldn't have been more right.

- Ray Romano

Thought, Year, Been, None

My favorite band - and Bobby Cannavale and Terry Winter have already made fun of me for this - is Chicago.

- Ray Romano

Winter, Made, Bobby, Terry

I have some classes in accounting, but I don't know anything about accounting. I - you know, when my accountant tells me all the things he does, it's a foreign language to me.

- Ray Romano

Accountant, Some, Classes, Accounting

I like a good cry - it's cathartic; it's a release. But I've never been able to be so free to do that on camera the way some actors can.

- Ray Romano

Some, Like, Been, Camera

I'm aging, and the world is seeing it.

- Ray Romano

World, Seeing, Aging

I'm a 14 handicap. Anyone who golfs knows what that means. I shoot 90 to a hundred or, once in a while, 85.

- Ray Romano

Means, Hundred, Handicap, Shoot

I just go to work, come home. And my wife lets me throw my clothes on the floor, and she doesn't say anything, so I must be making some money.

- Ray Romano

Work, Some, Making, Floor

Doris Roberts had an energy and a spirit that amazed me. She never stopped. Whether working professionally or with her many charities or just nurturing and mentoring a green young comic trying to make it as an actor, she did everything with such a grand love for life and people, and I will miss her dearly.

- Ray Romano

Love, Young, Charities, Nurturing

I married a saint - well, a saint who curses.

- Ray Romano

Well, Married, Saint, Curses

I'm always giving myself the Alzheimer's test. My shrink told me to do this. It takes one minute. You name every word that comes to mind that begins with the letter F.

- Ray Romano

Mind, Alzheimer, Always, Letter

I have the show because I'm insecure. It's my insecurity that makes me want to be a comic, that makes me need the audience.

- Ray Romano

Want, Audience, Need, Insecure

If golf wasn't enjoyable and there wasn't a lot of humor and enjoyment, even though the game is so frustrating, you would wonder why you put yourself through it.

- Ray Romano

Game, Through, Though, Wonder

Whenever I walk off the golf course, I thank God that I'm able to tell a joke. I thank God I'm good at something.

- Ray Romano

Good, Tell, Off, Joke

My joke used to be about my father and Peter Boyle: that anything you see Peter Boyle do on TV, my father has done in real life without pants on.

- Ray Romano

Father, Pants, TV, Joke

I still feel like an immature idiot inside, but I look in the mirror and - as a friend of mine once said- this old guy keeps getting in the way.

- Ray Romano

Mirror, Still, Mine, Keeps

I didn't want to have to follow 'Everybody Loves Raymond' with another sitcom. Let it be my sitcom legacy, and leave it at that.

- Ray Romano

Legacy, Leave, Everybody, Sitcom

Each day it's like: 'How many more days am I going to feel young and vibrant? I feel young and vibrant now, but I also feel the aches and pains a little bit.

- Ray Romano

Like, Going, Vibrant, Each Day

I realized I need to work. I need to be creative. As much as I have angst and anxiety, when I'm idle, it's even more. I have to keep moving. Otherwise, I catch up with myself.

- Ray Romano

Need, Idle, Otherwise, Catch

As successful as it may appear I am, I don't really feel that. It's like, you know you've achieved some level of success, and you know what you've done, and yet you still feel you have more to do and more to prove.

- Ray Romano

Some, Prove, Still, Appear

After 'Raymond,' there was this big feeling of, 'What do I do next?'

- Ray Romano

Big, Next, After, Raymond

I love standup and I haven't given it up.

- Ray Romano

Love, Given, I Love, Standup

I don't want to be a spokesman for family values, but that's the way my standup is perceived.

- Ray Romano

Want, Spokesman, Perceived, Standup

I still do standup.

- Ray Romano

Still, Standup

It's my insecurity that makes me want to be a comic, that makes me need the audience.

- Ray Romano

Want, Audience, Need, Comic

I don't want to say work is who I am, but some people feel more centered and more whole when they're producing and creating.

- Ray Romano

Work, Some, Centered, Producing

In school, I wasn't a very good student - I was very irresponsible and never did the studying but always liked to get the laugh.

- Ray Romano

Studying, Always, Very, Irresponsible

I can't complain about my career, that's for sure.

- Ray Romano

Career, Sure, About, Complain

I remember I did the movie 'Eulogy,' and there was a dramatic moment in it. It was pretty heavy, and I went for it. It was... I didn't feel that comfortable doing it.

- Ray Romano

Doing, I Remember, Pretty, Heavy

My hair was long - in my high school year book, I looked like an ugly David Cassidy.

- Ray Romano

Year, Like, Looked, David

You know, before I would think, my cab driver hates me. Now I think my limo driver hates me.

- Ray Romano

Think, I Think, Before, Driver

I have this mistress: show business.

- Ray Romano

Business, Show, Mistress

If I had never gotten famous or rich, I think I'd be equally neurotic.

- Ray Romano

Think, Never, I Think, Neurotic

You don't want to shock them and do something totally opposite, but you also want to play a different character.

- Ray Romano

Character, Play, Want, Shock

I was wracked with insecurity.

- Ray Romano

Insecurity

When you're in the living room every week for nine years as one character, it's hard for some people to see you as someone else.

- Ray Romano

Living, Some, Nine, Living Room

I go to Hooters for lunch every day. Then for coffee.

- Ray Romano

Lunch, Every Day, Go, Coffee

In stand-up, there's that idea that comedy comes from a dark place, but it's not a rule.

- Ray Romano

Comedy, Dark, Idea, Dark Place

I never want to give up stand-up. Because I still get a thrill out of it.

- Ray Romano

Never, Give, Still, Thrill

I still got my hair, I'm not fat.

- Ray Romano

Hair, Got, Still, Fat

I do still get intimidated by certain things.

- Ray Romano

Get, Still, Things, Certain Things

You know, a TV show is a slow build.

- Ray Romano

Slow, Build, TV, TV Show

If my father had hugged me even once, I'd be an accountant right now.

- Ray Romano

Once, Dad, Even, Accountant

I don't watch 'Mad Men.'

- Ray Romano

Men, Mad, Watch, Mad Men

I lived at home till I was 29.

- Ray Romano

Home, Lived, Till

My wife gets all the money I make. I just get an apple and clean clothes every morning.

- Ray Romano

Wife, Clean, Gets, Apple

Well, I'm a 14 handicap. Anyone who golfs knows what that means.

- Ray Romano

Well, Means, Anyone, Handicap

I want to do well and I want to fit in.

- Ray Romano

Want, Well, Fit

My kids are growing up and it's hard to accept they are their own person and they're independent.

- Ray Romano

Growing, Own, Accept, Independent

I don't think men talk as much as women, but when we have something on our minds we'll get it out.

- Ray Romano

Think, Something, Our, Minds

I don't get sick.

- Ray Romano

Get, Sick

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