Oh, I'm not a true genius. I'm a near genius. I would say I'm a short genius. I'd rather be tall and normal than a short genius.
- Mel Brooks
Say, Normal, Rather, True Genius
I'm still a horse that can run. I may not be able to win the Derby, but what do you do when you retire? People retire and they vegetate. They go away and they dry up.
- Mel Brooks
Away, May, Still, I May Not
A cinema villain essentially needs a moustache so he can twiddle with it gleefully as he cooks up his next nasty plan.
- Mel Brooks
Movies, Next, Needs, Nasty
The brilliance of Max Brooks is that he always quotes authorities at the back of his books that never existed. Like a Russian professor he made up that validates a story or character.
- Mel Brooks
Always, Like, Russian, Max
Immortality is a by-product of good work.
- Mel Brooks
Work, Good Work, Immortality, By-Product
I don't have a mission. I don't have a torch to burn.
- Mel Brooks
Mission, Burn, Torch
If you're quiet, you're not living. You've got to be noisy and colorful and lively.
- Mel Brooks
Quiet, Living, Lively, Noisy
Look, I don't want to wax philosophic, but I will say that if you're alive you've got to flap your arms and legs, you've got to jump around a lot, for life is the very opposite of death, and therefore you must at very least think noisy and colorfully, or you're not alive.
- Mel Brooks
Life, Alive, Very, Noisy
As far as songwriters, I've always been a fan of Irving Berlin, Cole Porter, and George Gershwin; those guys mean a lot to me.
- Mel Brooks
Always, Been, Songwriters, Gershwin
A brushstroke of vanity is good to add into the mix, to balance your timidity. We're all blessed with a lot of timidity and a lot of worry and anxiety, and vanity is a good antidote.
- Mel Brooks
Blessed, Worry, Add, Timidity
These men both publicly and privately have done so much for me. Without Nathan Lane and Matthew Broderick I would be living in a little motel just around the corner here, trying to make ends meet.
- Mel Brooks
Here, Without, Around, Motel
Well, just being stupid and politically incorrect doesn't work. You can be politically incorrect if you're smart.
- Mel Brooks
Work, Stupid, Incorrect, Politically Incorrect
You're always a little disappointing in person because you can't be the edited essence of yourself.
- Mel Brooks
Person, Always, Edited, Disappointing
Every human being has hundreds of separate people living under his skin. The talent of a writer is his ability to give them their separate names, identities, personalities and have them relate to other characters living with him.
- Mel Brooks
Give, Other, Human Being, Personalities
Everything starts with writing. And then to support your vision, your ideas, your philosophy, your jokes, whatever, you've gotta perform them and/or direct them, or sometimes just produce them.
- Mel Brooks
Sometimes, Gotta, Perform, Jokes
I loved Westerns as a little kid, and I loved horror films.
- Mel Brooks
Westerns, Films, Little Kid, Horror Films
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.
- Mel Brooks
Funny, Die, Finger, Open
If Shaw and Einstein couldn't beat death, what chance have I got? Practically none.
- Mel Brooks
Death, Chance, Practically, Einstein
Well, you know, 'Spaceballs' is a weird combination, because it's a simple, sweet little fairytale, and it's crazy and out-there and making fun of and taking apart sci-fi, 'Star Wars', and 'Star Trek'.
- Mel Brooks
Star, Making, Star Wars, Fairytale
We want to get people laughing; we don't want to offend anybody.
- Mel Brooks
Want, Get, Anybody, Laughing
We rest our case on the production numbers.
- Mel Brooks
Rest, Numbers, Production, Case
You got to be brave. If you feel something, you've really got to risk it.
- Mel Brooks
Brave, Risk, Feel, Be Brave
I love writing songs. I'm a songwriter.
- Mel Brooks
Love, Songs, I Love, Songwriter
When you come to Germany as a Jew you have an uneasy feeling, but I've always felt okay in Berlin.
- Mel Brooks
Always, Okay, Germany, Uneasy
I don't believe in this business of being behind, better to be in front.
- Mel Brooks
Business, Better, Behind, Front
Rhetoric does not get you anywhere, because Hitler and Mussolini are just as good at rhetoric. But if you can bring these people down with comedy, they stand no chance.
- Mel Brooks
Chance, Comedy, No Chance, Rhetoric
If you stand on a soapbox and trade rhetoric with a dictator you never win.
- Mel Brooks
Never, Trade, Soapbox, Rhetoric
Anybody can direct, but there are only eleven good writers.
- Mel Brooks
Only, Anybody, Direct, Eleven
I like Chris Rock. He's dangerous.
- Mel Brooks
Rock, Dangerous, Like, Chris
As long as the world is turning and spinning, we're gonna be dizzy and we're gonna make mistakes.
- Mel Brooks
World, Turning, Gonna, Spinning
I only direct in self-defense.
- Mel Brooks
Only, Direct, Self-Defense
Judd Apatow is pretty good, both as a producer and as a director.
- Mel Brooks
Pretty, Pretty Good, Producer
All short women have a delayed fuse. Marry a taller woman: My wife was an inch or two taller than me; it's a sign of security.
- Mel Brooks
Wife, Woman, Taller, Fuse
If presidents can't do it to their wives, they do it to their country.
- Mel Brooks
Country, Presidents, Wives
Bad taste is simply saying the truth before it should be said.
- Mel Brooks
Truth, Bad, Before, Simply
Dom DeLuise was a big man in every way. He was big in size and created big laughter and joy.
- Mel Brooks
Joy, Big, Created, Size
I'll accept bad taste in a minute, as long as there's some great comedy minds and performances.
- Mel Brooks
Comedy, Bad, Some, Minute
There's an army story in me, and I think there's a WWII Brooks film somewhere.
- Mel Brooks
Think, Army, I Think, Brooks
Life literally abounds in comedy if you just look around you.
- Mel Brooks
Comedy, Just, Literally, Abound
I was a soldier in WWII. The last couple of months of the war I was actually in combat.
- Mel Brooks
Couple, Actually, Months, WWII
He who hesitates is poor.
- Mel Brooks
Poor, He, Who, Hesitates
If God wanted us to fly, He would have given us tickets.
- Mel Brooks
Funny, Fly, Given, Us
I was in the army, and to me it was like a newsreel.
- Mel Brooks
Me, Like, Army
I'm rather secular. I'm basically Jewish. But I think I'm Jewish not because of the Jewish religion at all.
- Mel Brooks
Think, I Think, Rather, Basically
A lot of music is mathematics. It's balance.
- Mel Brooks
Music, Balance, Lot, Mathematics
I wish I was better looking.
- Mel Brooks
Wish, Better, I Wish, Better Looking
I know how to make it a great musical. I've got to. It's like I've got to see it on stage.
- Mel Brooks
See, How, Stage, Musical
Humor is just another defense against the universe.
- Mel Brooks
Humor, Against, Another, Defense
'Mad About You' was very fun.
- Mel Brooks
You, Very, About, Mad
But I have bad taste with a deep fount of intellectuality.
- Mel Brooks
Deep, Bad, Bad Taste, Taste
Everything we do in life is based on fear, especially love.
- Mel Brooks
Love, Life, Everything, Based
It's talent. Either you got it or you ain't.
- Mel Brooks
You, Got, Either, Talent
My job is to go out and entertain the most people possible.
- Mel Brooks
Go, Most, Entertain, Possible
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