Martha Kelly Quotes

Of all the places I've ever been, Austin is the only place that has felt like home. I fit in here.

- Martha Kelly

Most of my standup is about stuff that makes me uncomfortable. There are also things I don't joke about. I don't do jokes about the people who helped me get sober.

- Martha Kelly

From the time I was 18, I knew I wanted to be a comedian, but I was just scared to try it. And first I thought, 'Well, I should go to college and get a degree.' That didn't pan out.

- Martha Kelly

When I first moved to Austin in January of 2000, I went out drinking and smoking every single night for a year. And it was really fun at first, but then I started to feel kind of weird because, before I moved here, I had a vision of myself becoming a new person once I lived in Austin. I just hadn't realized that person might be Nick Nolte.

- Martha Kelly

With stand-up you can just be yourself on stage. And ideally, you can't see the crowd most of the time - it's just lights in your face. But I still have had terrible stage fright.

- Martha Kelly

I feel like I should be a really happy, bubbly person to correspond with my good fortune, but I'm more of a this-could-dry-up-any-minute person who tries to enjoy it while it lasts. And if it does dry up, I'll still have the people I love, and I'll just figure out how to pay rent.

- Martha Kelly

People who don't know that I do comedy think I'm shy, kind of a dud, and I don't have the wherewithal to prove them wrong. It takes me a long time to get to know people.

- Martha Kelly

Acting is completely different from the standup world. You have these 12- or 14-hour days, but you have a great time doing it. It's like hanging out with your friends.

- Martha Kelly

I never went on auditions because I would be terrible at it, so I just did stand-up.

- Martha Kelly