Lily Tomlin Quotes

Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?

- Lily Tomlin

Feet, Name, Special, Tops

Creating characters is just another way to express a type and put that type to use.

- Lily Tomlin

Another, Use, Characters, Another Way

Why is it that when we talk to God we're said to be praying but when God talks to us we're schizophrenic?

- Lily Tomlin

Why, Talks, Praying, Schizophrenic

I mean yes to act out something or take chances in the performance is one thing. But in terms of a camera, whatever's captured is captured so that's a little more daunting.

- Lily Tomlin

More, Yes, One Thing, Chances

Don't be afraid of missing opportunities. Behind every failure is an opportunity somebody wishes they had missed.

- Lily Tomlin

Failure, Missed, Behind, Missing

I guess if people couldn't profit from war I don't think there would be war.

- Lily Tomlin

Think, Would, Guess, Profit

There's so much plastic in this culture that vinyl leopard skin is becoming an endangered synthetic.

- Lily Tomlin

Plastic, Becoming, Synthetic, Leopard

No matter how cynical you become, it's never enough to keep up.

- Lily Tomlin

Never, How, Keep, Cynical

But there are too many people that make so much money at the cost of lives of other humans and for no reason but to make the money.

- Lily Tomlin

Reason, Cost, Other, So Much Money

You don't really need to get married, but marriage is awfully nice. Everybody I know who got married, they say it really makes a difference. They feel very, very happy about it.

- Lily Tomlin

Need, Everybody, Very, Get Married

For fast-acting relief try slowing down.

- Lily Tomlin

Try, Down, Slowing, Relief

I grew up in a time when women didn't really do comedy. You had to be homely, overweight, an old maid, all that. You had to play a stereotype, because very attractive women were not supposed to be funny - because it's powerful; it's a threat.

- Lily Tomlin

Play, Very, Had, Old Maid

What I appreciate is acknowledging to the audience that I think they have brains.

- Lily Tomlin

Think, Audience, Brains, Acknowledging

Ninety eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hardworking, honest Americans. It's the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then, we elected them.

- Lily Tomlin

Government, Country, Other, Lousy

Many times I sit back and say, 'I can't believe that this is my life!' Other times, I feel self-satisfied. I mean, there's a lot to be proud and thankful for but, nonetheless, it's just a life!

- Lily Tomlin

Proud, My Life, Other, Sit

Instead of working for the survival of the fittest, we should be working for the survival of the wittiest - then we can all die laughing.

- Lily Tomlin

Survival, Die, Fittest, Laughing

We are all in this together, by ourselves.

- Lily Tomlin

Ourselves, Together

I think my politics are just inclined to be empathetic and humanistic. I grew up with so many different kinds of people with different politics, different religion, no religion, no politics, education, no education, and I was infatuated with all of them.

- Lily Tomlin

Politics, Think, I Think, Humanistic

I like a teacher who gives you something to take home to think about besides homework.

- Lily Tomlin

Teacher, Think, Like, Besides

Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.

- Lily Tomlin

Deep, His, Satisfy, Invented

If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?

- Lily Tomlin

Love, Funny, Answer, Love Is

What if it's boring - or if it's not boring, it might be too revealing, or worse, it might be too revealing and still be boring.

- Lily Tomlin

Boring, Still, Too, What If

I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.

- Lily Tomlin

Funny, Always, Been, Realize

I never officially came out in any kind of really public way. I just always lived very simply and openly, but the press has never made a big fuss about me or said anything to me.

- Lily Tomlin

Big, Always, Very, Officially

When I was 9 or 10, I had a ten-cent business: I would walk your dog for a dime, go to the store for a dime, empty your garbage for a dime - and then I could use the money to buy tricks at the magic store.

- Lily Tomlin

Business, Magic, Could, Tricks

You know being relevant or coming up with something interesting, funny to say about what's current is just as hard as it might ever be depending on the serendipity of it all.

- Lily Tomlin

Interesting, Might, About, Serendipity

I personally think we developed language because of our deep need to complain.

- Lily Tomlin

Deep, Think, Personally, Complain

It's my belief we developed language because of our deep inner need to complain.

- Lily Tomlin

Deep, Language, Need, Complain

What is reality, anyway? Just a collective hunch.

- Lily Tomlin

Reality, Collective, Hunch, Anyway

Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.

- Lily Tomlin

Reality, Nothing, Collective, Hunch

If you read a lot of books you are considered well read. But if you watch a lot of TV, you're not considered well viewed.

- Lily Tomlin

TV, Lot, Read, Viewed

We don't care. We don't have to. We're the phone company.

- Lily Tomlin

Care, Company, Phone

The road to success is always under construction.

- Lily Tomlin

Road, Success Is, Always, Construction

The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.

- Lily Tomlin

Society, Rat, Still, Trouble

If I had known what it would be like to have it all - I might have been willing to settle for less.

- Lily Tomlin

Been, Known, Would, Less

I especially love 'Web Therapy' and I did 'Eastbound and Down' too. I had a lot of fun doing that.

- Lily Tomlin

Love, Doing, Therapy, Web

If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?

- Lily Tomlin

Funny, Hair, How, Truth Is

I've always wanted to be somebody, but I see now I should have been more specific.

- Lily Tomlin

See, Always, Been, Somebody

I always wondered why somebody doesn't do something about that. Then I realized I was somebody.

- Lily Tomlin

Why, Always, About, Somebody

I was always drawn to more the social-expression-of-culture types.

- Lily Tomlin

More, Always, Types, Drawn

I guess that's one of the reasons that you do it - work all the time - because it's sort of a high to find something that really works.

- Lily Tomlin

Work, Reasons, Works, Guess

Sometimes I feel like a figment of my own imagination.

- Lily Tomlin

Sometimes, My Own, Like, I Feel Like

Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it.

- Lily Tomlin

Stress, Leading, Among, Reality

If you read a lot of books, you're considered well-read. But if you watch a lot of TV, you're not considered well-viewed.

- Lily Tomlin

TV, Lot, Read, Books

Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world.

- Lily Tomlin

Success, Worry, World, Mediocre

I worry that the person who thought up Muzak may be thinking up something else.

- Lily Tomlin

Worry, Thought, May, Something Else

Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse.

- Lily Tomlin

Going, Before, Lot, Worse

Remember we're all in this alone.

- Lily Tomlin

Remember, Alone

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