In a hierarchy, every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence.
- Laurence J. Peter
Incompetence, Level, His, Employee
An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today.
- Laurence J. Peter
Business, Expert, Happen, Economist
Competence, like truth, beauty, and contact lenses, is in the eye of the beholder.
- Laurence J. Peter
Eye, Competence, Lenses, Beholder
If a cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind, what is the significance of a clean desk?
- Laurence J. Peter
Funny, Mind, Desk, Significance
Bureaucracy defends the status quo long past the time when the quo has lost its status.
- Laurence J. Peter
Past, Lost, Bureaucracy, Status Quo
Committees have become so important nowadays that subcommittees have to be appointed to do the work.
- Laurence J. Peter
Work, Important, Appointed, Committees
The seaman tells stories of winds, the ploughman of bulls; the soldier details his wounds, the shepherd his sheep.
- Laurence J. Peter
Seaman, Stories, Tells, Shepherd
Expert: a man who makes three correct guesses consecutively.
- Laurence J. Peter
Funny, Expert, Correct, Guesses
Make three correct guesses consecutively and you will establish a reputation as an expert.
- Laurence J. Peter
Expert, Will, Correct, Guesses
A pessimist is a man who looks both ways when he crosses the street.
- Laurence J. Peter
Looks, Street, Ways, Both Ways
Heredity is what sets the parents of a teenager wondering about each other.
- Laurence J. Peter
Teen, Other, Sets, Heredity
Television has changed the American child from an irresistable force to an immovable object.
- Laurence J. Peter
Technology, Immovable, Changed
Psychiatry enables us to correct our faults by confessing our parents' shortcomings.
- Laurence J. Peter
Shortcomings, Correct, Confessing
Some problems are so complex that you have to be highly intelligent and well informed just to be undecided about them.
- Laurence J. Peter
Some, Informed, About, Highly
Men now monopolize the upper levels... depriving women of their rightful share of opportunities for incompetence.
- Laurence J. Peter
Men, Incompetence, Depriving, Levels
A censor is an expert in cutting remarks. A censor is a man who knows more than he thinks you ought to.
- Laurence J. Peter
Expert, More, Than, Ought
Slump, and the world slumps with you. Push, and you push alone.
- Laurence J. Peter
Alone, World, Slump, Push
Education is a method whereby one acquires a higher grade of prejudices.
- Laurence J. Peter
Education, Grade, Prejudices, Whereby
Everyone rises to their level of incompetence.
- Laurence J. Peter
Incompetence, Everyone, Rises
When in doubt or danger, run in circles, scream and shout.
- Laurence J. Peter
Doubt, Run, Circles, Shout
It's better to have loved and lost than to have to do forty pounds of laundry a week.
- Laurence J. Peter
Relationship, Week, Better, Pounds
Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it.
- Laurence J. Peter
Funny, Art, Forgetting, Hear
Early to bed, early to rise, work like hell, and advertise.
- Laurence J. Peter
Work, Bed, Like, Rise
Work is accomplished by those employees who have not yet reached their level of incompetence.
- Laurence J. Peter
Work, Level, Accomplished, Employees
The best intelligence test is what we do with our leisure.
- Laurence J. Peter
Best, Test, Our, Leisure
Against logic there is no armor like ignorance.
- Laurence J. Peter
Ignorance, Against, Like, Armor
If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.
- Laurence J. Peter
Funny, Try, Right, Wrongs
Fortune knocks but once, but misfortune has much more patience.
- Laurence J. Peter
Patience, Fortune, Once, Knocks
Don't believe in miracles - depend on them.
- Laurence J. Peter
Believe, Depend, Them, Miracles
America is a country that doesn't know where it is going but is determined to set a speed record getting there.
- Laurence J. Peter
Country, Getting, Set, Determined
Every girl should use what Mother Nature gave her before Father Time takes it away.
- Laurence J. Peter
Nature, Beauty, Away, Gave
Equal opportunity means everyone will have a fair chance at being incompetent.
- Laurence J. Peter
Chance, Equal, Means, Incompetent
The man who says he is willing to meet you halfway is usually a poor judge of distance.
- Laurence J. Peter
Distance, Meet, Willing, Halfway
A man doesn't know what he knows until he knows what he doesn't know.
- Laurence J. Peter
Brainy, Know, Until, Knows
The great question is not whether you have failed, but whether you are content with failure.
- Laurence J. Peter
Failure, Question, Whether, Failed
An intelligence test sometimes shows a man how smart he would have been not to have taken it.
- Laurence J. Peter
How, Been, Shows, Taken
America is a land of taxation that was founded to avoid taxation.
- Laurence J. Peter
Government, Land, Founded, Avoid
You can always tell a real friend: when you've made a fool of yourself he doesn't feel you've done a permanent job.
- Laurence J. Peter
Friendship, Always, Made, Permanent
Going to church doesn't make you any more a Christian than going to the garage makes you a car.
- Laurence J. Peter
Car, More, Going, Garage
Democracy is a process by which people are free to choose the man who will get the blame.
- Laurence J. Peter
Process, Will, Which, Blame
Nobody can be perfect unless he admits his faults, but if he has faults how can he be perfect?
- Laurence J. Peter
Perfect, How, His, Nobody
As a matter of fact is an expression that precedes many an expression that isn't.
- Laurence J. Peter
Fact, Matter, Expression, Precedes
If you don't know where you're going, you will probably end up somewhere else.
- Laurence J. Peter
Will, Going, Somewhere Else, Somewhere
Speak when you are angry - and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret.
- Laurence J. Peter
Anger, Speech, Ever, Speak
Lead, follow, or get out of the way.
- Laurence J. Peter
Leadership, Follow, Get, Lead
A man convinced against his will is not convinced.
- Laurence J. Peter
Will, Against, His, Convinced
There are two kinds of egotists: Those who admit it, and the rest of us.
- Laurence J. Peter
Rest, Two, Kinds, Admit
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