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Kristen Schaal Quotes

Powerful Kristen Schaal for Daily Growth

I think it's great training for any comedian to start on cows. Because with cows, you expect them to be bored and just stare at you blankly. And that's exactly what you'll get at a comedy club. If you can toughen up with a cow audience, then you'll never be worried with a human audience.

- Kristen Schaal

Training, Cow, I Think, Cows

I think growing up on a farm in a certain amount of isolation, with not a lot of friends nearby, makes you entertain yourself and kind of grows your imagination - being alone is quite good for all that. You make up stories, talk to the animals, let them be an audience, a bunch of cows.

- Kristen Schaal

I Think, Entertain, Your, Cows

In high school, I was doing a skit for forensics and people started laughing, more than I was prepared to deal with. It was a surprise.

- Kristen Schaal

Surprise, Doing, Deal, Skit

'Rock of Love' with Bret Michaels was fun. He's a lovable guy.

- Kristen Schaal

Love, Rock, Guy, Lovable

I never really saw myself as a standup comedian. I always just thought of myself as someone who used the eight minutes or 10 minutes she was allotted and had a blast.

- Kristen Schaal

Thought, Always, Minutes, Blast

Sarcasm doesn't read sarcastic in print.

- Kristen Schaal

Print, Read, In Print, Sarcastic

I would be an actress for the rest of my life just because it's really relaxing. Writing is hard work, and stand-up is so stressful before you get on stage, but acting is a complete ensemble experience.

- Kristen Schaal

My Life, Ensemble, Before, Stressful

My sensibilities are like, 'I want it to be weirder.'

- Kristen Schaal

Want, Like, Weirder, Sensibilities

I don't enjoy reality television at all. I have to say that I get it, though. I watch some of it, and I understand why people enjoy it.

- Kristen Schaal

Television, Some, Though, Reality Television

I would like to be known as someone who was really sweet but also knowledgeable in all areas of life.

- Kristen Schaal

Like, Also, Really, Knowledgeable

I used to go to open mics in New York when I was starting out, and it was mostly just people who wanted an audience to look at them for eight minutes on a stage.

- Kristen Schaal

New, Audience, Mostly, Starting

I've been lucky. The projects I've gotten to work on are projects I'd want to watch myself. That's what I try to shoot for.

- Kristen Schaal

Lucky, Been, Projects, Shoot

I probably shouldn't say this about all animals, but at least the farm animals that I've hung out with, and even when I go to the zoo usually, they're like a blank slate. I guess that's why I like them. They're puppets, and you can imagine them being anything you want.

- Kristen Schaal

Puppets, Blank, About, Hung

Being a correspondent on 'The Daily Show' is some combination of doing a character and doing stand-up. It's a juggling act to find a balance between being you and playing a role.

- Kristen Schaal

Doing, Some, Role, Juggling

I loved 'Burning Love,' and I really do love almost everything Paul Scheer touches.

- Kristen Schaal

Love, Loved, Burning, Paul

I definitely had a Paul Rudd crush. He's great.

- Kristen Schaal

Crush, Had, Definitely, Paul

I would love for people to know that the label 'feminist' is something that everyone should wear proudly, because it just means that you support women.

- Kristen Schaal

Love, Everyone, Means, Feminist

My style can't be held within a pixel medium. Like, it needs to be performed in a living, breathing space. People need to have all their senses ready to take on my comedy, and unfortunately, TV alienates at least their sense of touch, taste, smell.

- Kristen Schaal

Senses, TV, Held, Medium

Sometimes I try to sell shows with a female lead to networks, and that isn't something that's been a proven formula for them, so they reject it. I do feel like men get the funniest roles in movies.

- Kristen Schaal

Sometimes, Like, Been, Funniest

My parents are pretty religious, devout, but did they force it on me? No, I don't think so. I still think of myself as a Lutheran, just one who doesn't go to church.

- Kristen Schaal

Think, Pretty, Religious, Devout

Animals in general have sparked a weird depression in me, because as much as I tried, I couldn't layer a personality over them. You know what I mean? I would stare at the cows, and I would sing to the cows, and they would always just look at me blankly.

- Kristen Schaal

Layer, Tried, General, Depression

In the U.K., there's absolutely no money for television. So you can do pretty much whatever you want. They're not losing money on any of the shows, so they'll give you a lot of creative freedom. In the United States, there are millions and millions of dollars at stake, so they need a sure formula.

- Kristen Schaal

Losing, United, Dollars, Millions

Bad improv happens with people who are inexperienced with each other and don't know the craft that well. But bad stand-up is something that could happen to someone at any level in their career.

- Kristen Schaal

Career, Happen, Other, Inexperienced

I'm not really a control person, and I'm a big believer in collaboration. I like to have a friend.

- Kristen Schaal

Big, Person, Like, Believer

I would never bring a kid to a comedy show myself, but I have noticed that I can't stop other people from bringing their kids.

- Kristen Schaal

Comedy, Kid, Other, Noticed

I think I've always had a disconnect from what I'm supposed to be like.

- Kristen Schaal

Think, Always, I Think, Disconnect

The more women sit down and write something in a woman's voice for a woman, they more you'll see women in comedy because gender doesn't define sense of humor. Imagination and intelligence and perspective do.

- Kristen Schaal

Woman, Voice, Sense Of Humor, Perspective

I just really like people, and being a freelancer can be lonely during the day, when you're at home trying to write anything you can. 'Flight Of The Conchords' was so wonderful because I had a family for two years.

- Kristen Schaal

Flight, Two, Had, Lonely

You go from nobody looking at you to people taking second looks. I remember really loving it - and then feeling so guilty for loving it. Like, 'That's gross, Kristen.' Also, telling myself it could go away at any moment, and I'd be so sad.

- Kristen Schaal

I Remember, Away, Telling, Guilty

Most of the people I know in comedy are not weird or messed up.

- Kristen Schaal

Weird, Most, Messed, Messed Up

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