These days, there are many people around the world who listen to the songs that made me infamous and read the books that made me respectable.
- Kinky Friedman
Infamous, Made, Read, Respectable
William Bennett is my patron saint, one of them. Redd Foxx is another.
- Kinky Friedman
Another, Saint, William, Patron
The Democrats and Republicans are the same guy admiring themself in the mirror.
- Kinky Friedman
Mirror, Same, Admiring
The only currency I value is the coin of the spirit. That's very important in my life.
- Kinky Friedman
My Life, Important, Very, Currency
I have a better head of hair than Rick Perry; it's just not in a place I can show you.
- Kinky Friedman
Better, I Can, Show, Rick
I don't apologize to people who try to intimidate.
- Kinky Friedman
People, Try, Apologize, Intimidate
I never apologize for the truth. And the truth here is that racists come in many different colors.
- Kinky Friedman
Truth, Never, Here, Apologize
Well, I just said that Jesus and I were both Jewish and that neither of us ever had a job, we never had a home, we never married and we traveled around the countryside irritating people.
- Kinky Friedman
Jewish, Countryside, Had, Traveled
Students don't know who Mark Twain was because he wasn't on the test.
- Kinky Friedman
Know, Students, Test, Twain
Yes, I'm a Judeo-Christian. Jesus and Moses are in my heart, and... both of them were independents, by the way.
- Kinky Friedman
Yes, Them, Moses, Independents
If Willie Nelson had been Rosa Parks, there never would have been a civil rights movement in this country, because he refuses to leave the back of the bus.
- Kinky Friedman
Bus, Country, Been, Nelson
I'm too young for Medicare and too old for women to care.
- Kinky Friedman
Young, Old, Too, Medicare
How can you look at the Texas legislature and still believe in intelligent design?
- Kinky Friedman
Design, How, Still, Legislature
I support gay marriage. I believe they have a right to be as miserable as the rest of us.
- Kinky Friedman
Marriage, Rest, Miserable, Gay Marriage
You struggle with your demons and you conquer them.
- Kinky Friedman
Conquer, Them, Your, Demons
We've got to clear some of the room out of the prisons so we can put the bad guys in there, like the pedophiles and the politicians.
- Kinky Friedman
Bad, Some, Like, Prisons
I admit I was drinking a Guinness... but I did not swallow.
- Kinky Friedman
Admit, Drinking, Swallow, Guinness
No, nothing has changed in my life at all, and nothing would change if I had millions.
- Kinky Friedman
My Life, Nothing, Would, Changed
Remember: Y'all is singular. All y'all is plural. All y'all's is plural possessive.
- Kinky Friedman
Remember, Singular, Possessive
I'll sign anything except bad legislation.
- Kinky Friedman
Bad, Sign, Except, Legislation
When I'm governor... I'll be the first governor with a listed telephone number.
- Kinky Friedman
Number, Telephone, Listed, Telephone Number
I don't apologize to people with an agenda.
- Kinky Friedman
People, Agenda, Apologize
Young people are the key to this election.
- Kinky Friedman
Election, Young People, Key
I even went so far as to become a Southern Baptist for a while, until I realized that they didn't hold 'em under long enough.
- Kinky Friedman
Enough, Realized, Southern, Southern Baptist
May the God of your choice bless and keep you. I respect Him as long as He does not circumcise me anymore.
- Kinky Friedman
Anymore, May, Your, Bless
You have to pretend that your life is a financial pleasure even when your autographs are bouncing.
- Kinky Friedman
Famous, Life Is A, Even, Bouncing
We're first on executions. We're 49th in funding public education. We're in a race with Mississippi for the bottom, and we're winning.
- Kinky Friedman
Public Education, Funding, Mississippi
The folks in Mississippi are saying, 'Thank God for Texas.'
- Kinky Friedman
Thank God, Thank, Folks, Mississippi
I just want Texas to be number one in something other than executions, toll roads and property taxes.
- Kinky Friedman
Roads, Want, Other, Toll
I'll keep us out of war with Oklahoma!
- Kinky Friedman
War, Us, Keep, Oklahoma
The first thing I'll do if elected is demand a recount.
- Kinky Friedman
Elected, Recount, Thing, The First Thing
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
- Kinky Friedman
Beauty, Beer, Eye, Holder
We were a country band with a social conscience.
- Kinky Friedman
Country, Conscience, Social, Band
And I think musicians can better run this state than politicians. And, hell, beauticians can better run the state than politicians.
- Kinky Friedman
Think, Better, I Think, Politicians
Musicians can run this state better than politicians. We won't get a lot done in the mornings, but we'll work late and be honest.
- Kinky Friedman
Work, Musicians, Run, Politicians
We've had to be creative to get on the ballot.
- Kinky Friedman
Creative, Get, Had, Ballot
Money can buy you a fine dog, but only love can make him wag his tail.
- Kinky Friedman
Love, Pet, Tail, Only Love
I've always said money may buy you a fine dog, but only love can make it wag its tail.
- Kinky Friedman
Love, Always, May, Only Love
The teachers are getting screwed, blued, and tattooed by the system.
- Kinky Friedman
System, Screwed, Getting, Tattooed
I admit to drinking it, but I did not swallow.
- Kinky Friedman
Admit, Swallow, Did, Drinking
If you ain't Texan, I ain't got time for you.
- Kinky Friedman
Time, You, Got, Texan
I don't remember the first half of my life. All I say is a happy childhood is the worst possible preparation for life.
- Kinky Friedman
Childhood, My Life, Half, Worst
A happy childhood... is the worst possible preparation for life.
- Kinky Friedman
Happy, Childhood, Worst
I see an issue I like, and I support it.
- Kinky Friedman
See, Like, Issue, I See
Politics is the only field in which the more experience you have, the worse you get.
- Kinky Friedman
Politics, More, Which, Field
I'll tell you right now. I'm for prayer in school.
- Kinky Friedman
School, Now, Tell, Prayer
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