Kenneth Lonergan Quotes

Powerful Kenneth Lonergan for Daily Growth

About Kenneth Lonergan

Kenneth Lonergan, an acclaimed American playwright, screenwriter, and director, was born on October 16, 1962, in Boston, Massachusetts. Raised by Irish-Catholic parents, his upbringing significantly influenced the themes of family, loss, and redemption that permeate his works. Lonergan began writing at a young age, creating plays for school performances and exploring the human condition through poignant and introspective narratives. After studying playwriting at Harvard University, Lonergan's debut play, "This is Our Youth," premiered off-Broadway in 1996. The play, set in 1982 New York City, followed the lives of three young adults grappling with the aftermath of their parents' wealth and the emptiness of material possessions. Critically acclaimed, "This is Our Youth" marked Lonergan as a promising new voice in American theatre. In 2000, Lonergan wrote and directed his first film, "You Can Count on Me," which earned him an Academy Award nomination for Best Original Screenplay. The film, starring Laura Linney and Mark Ruffalo, told the story of two adult siblings struggling to navigate their complex relationship while dealing with their deceased mother's past. Lonergan's most renowned work is arguably "Margaret," a 2007 drama film that explores the aftermath of a bus accident from multiple perspectives. Though initially met with mixed reviews, "Margaret" has since gained critical acclaim for its ambitious narrative structure and nuanced exploration of grief, trauma, and morality. In addition to his work in theatre and film, Lonergan is known for his collaborations with the Broadway production company, The Public Theater's Under the Radar Festival, and for teaching at Columbia University's School of the Arts. His latest play, "The Waverly Gallery," premiered on Broadway in 2018 and garnered two Tony Award nominations for its portrayal of a family dealing with Alzheimer's disease. Through his diverse body of work, Kenneth Lonergan continues to captivate audiences with his raw, honest, and deeply human stories.

Interpretations of Popular Quotes

"We don't have a choice about how we're made, but we do have a choice about how we behave."

This quote suggests that our inherent traits, emotions, and personalities are not entirely within our control (how we're made). However, it emphasizes the power we hold in deciding our actions and behavior (how we behave), which significantly impacts our lives and interactions with others. It underscores the importance of personal responsibility and self-awareness in shaping our own destiny despite the limitations imposed by our innate qualities.


"The best thing you can possibly give your enemy is your honesty."

This quote by Kenneth Lonergan suggests that honesty, when wielded sincerely and without malice, can be an effective weapon against one's adversaries or enemies. By being truthful and transparent, one undermines the potential for deception and manipulation that often characterizes relationships marked by hostility or conflict. Honesty fosters trust, encourages communication, and promotes understanding, ultimately disarming the enemy through openness rather than secrecy or deception. In essence, honesty can be a powerful tool for resolution and reconciliation in adversarial situations.


"I've never met a more unhappy person than someone who never doubts their beliefs."

This quote highlights the importance of self-questioning and introspection in personal growth. A person who unwaveringly adheres to their beliefs without ever questioning them may miss opportunities for learning, evolving, or correcting misconceptions. Doubt can serve as a catalyst for critical thinking, fostering an open mind that's more receptive to new ideas and experiences, leading to a deeper understanding of oneself and the world.


"We go around putting labels on things, and those labels become more important to us than the actual things themselves."

Kenneth Lonergan's quote emphasizes that humans have a tendency to categorize and label things in our environment for easier understanding and navigation. However, he suggests that these labels can sometimes overshadow or distort the true essence of the objects or experiences themselves. In other words, we often attach more importance to our preconceived notions or labels than to the inherent qualities of the actual things or people in question. This observation carries implications for various aspects of life, including personal relationships, societal attitudes, and cultural understanding, as it highlights the need to see beyond stereotypes and appreciate the complexity and uniqueness of each individual and situation.


"If you can't change it, accept it. If you can change it, accept it first, then change it."

This quote by Kenneth Lonergan is about the power of acceptance in shaping our response to life's challenges. When faced with a situation that we cannot alter (like an unchangeable fact or circumstance), the most constructive approach is to accept it. Acceptance can help reduce stress and promote emotional well-being, as resistance to reality can lead to frustration and unhappiness. On the other hand, when there's room for change, acknowledging the current state first is essential before initiating any steps towards improvement. This acceptance serves as a foundation, allowing us to approach the situation with clarity, purpose, and determination, ultimately increasing our chances of success. In essence, Lonergan encourages us to practice acceptance as a key step in dealing with both unchangeable and changeable aspects of life.


Teenagers all think their life is a movie. If you break up with someone or you have a fight, you walk around with movie scores playing in your head. You sort of see yourself suffering as you're suffering. There's a lot of melodrama attached to the real events of your life.

- Kenneth Lonergan

Suffering, Movie, Scores, Attached

Adolescents show off. That's another way of wanting to connect with people. It's not an aspect of human behavior that we generally consider to be very admirable, but it is, in some way, a means of connecting with someone else and not being alone.

- Kenneth Lonergan

Some, Wanting, Very, Another Way

I remember yelling at my mother one time, horribly. I was in tenth grade or something like that, and I hadn't done something, and she misunderstood because my stepfather told her something that was wrong that I hadn't done.

- Kenneth Lonergan

I Remember, Horribly, Tenth, Stepfather

You can shoot a film in New York without seeing the Empire State Building. Or Starbucks... although the latter is much less realistic.

- Kenneth Lonergan

New, Starbucks, Film, Empire State

Sometimes films have no rehearsals - you don't have real rehearsals on the set because the day is so dominated by the schedule.

- Kenneth Lonergan

Schedule, Set, Films, Rehearsals

When I walk onto a film set, I become frightened and nervous. There's all this equipment, all these people, and most of them do things you don't know how to do. I didn't come from a film background.

- Kenneth Lonergan

You, How, Things, Film Set

There's a lot of pressure on a film set that's more immediate than the pressure in the theater where you're nervous about what's going to happen next week.

- Kenneth Lonergan

Next, Happen, Set, Film Set

I wrote a play once called 'Lobby Hero,' which I thought turned out very well, but there's no final version of it. I published the one we produced, but there are seven other versions with different variations sitting in my desk at home.

- Kenneth Lonergan

Play, Other, Very, Variations

I think 'Manchester' is really about grieving and trying to get on after something terrible has happened to an adult, and a whole life being destroyed, and then, what are the forces that keep him involved with the people he loves? They love him, and they won't let him go.

- Kenneth Lonergan

Love, I Think, About, Manchester

There's something about the impact of a big screen that means something to me, even though I realize almost every film is fated to be seen for a year in theaters, and then forever after on television.

- Kenneth Lonergan

Big, Means, Though, Theaters

Many movies about people recovering, moving on, and redeeming themselves are really wonderful and inspiring. But I think the more sentimental ones that are less good make me feel isolated - like, if you can't pull yourself up by your bootstraps like the guys in the movies, there is something wrong with you. That's a shame.

- Kenneth Lonergan

Shame, I Think, Recovering, Sentimental

The creative process on 'Margaret' was incredibly satisfying. I loved the cast; I had a great time writing the script. I liked making the movie. Believe it or not, I actually like editing the movie. It was all the rest of it that was such a nightmare.

- Kenneth Lonergan

Great Time, Movie, Had, Satisfying

I do a lot of improvising when I'm writing, and I work very hard on the scripts... they are written very much in an actor-friendly way.

- Kenneth Lonergan

Work, Way, Very, Scripts

I'm always struck when I go somewhere I've never been before, especially if it's in my home town, by just how different the atmosphere can be, and how disorienting it can be - especially if there's any kind of trouble.

- Kenneth Lonergan

Been, Before, Atmosphere, Struck

Little kids grow up discovering the world that's shown to them and then when you become a teenager, it kind of shrinks a little bit. I think when you get past that point, one of the important things is that you see there is more to the world than yourself.

- Kenneth Lonergan

I Think, Point, Bit, Teenager

I remember the kind of teenager I was, the kind of teenager I wanted to be, and then the kind of teenagers that were all around me. Life is lived on such a big scale in those years - and such an embarrassing one as well.

- Kenneth Lonergan

Kind, Big, I Remember, Teenager

You discover two things when you're a teenager. One, that your parents are not the idols that you thought they were when you were growing up, if you had nice parents. And two, that you have power over them, and you can upset them and confront them and attack them.

- Kenneth Lonergan

Thought, Upset, Confront, Teenager

I feel like if you can describe something fully and accurately, then people will be able to see it themselves - they don't need be told what to.

- Kenneth Lonergan

Will, Need, Like, Fully

A really good comedy, I think, is played as if it was real, and it's the circumstances that make it amusing. And I think that the - the inverse or the reverse is true for drama.

- Kenneth Lonergan

Think, I Think, Inverse, Amusing

I actually think storyboards are great. I don't draw well enough to do them myself. I've only used storyboards a couple of times. We used two storyboards in 'Margaret': one for the bus accident and for the opera sequence at the end.

- Kenneth Lonergan

Bus, Opera, Couple, Margaret

'You Can Count On Me' took 20 days to shoot, and we had 50 days to shoot 'Margaret.'

- Kenneth Lonergan

Me, Count, Took, Margaret

'Margaret' as a creative entity is something that I'm very happy and proud of. But 'Margaret' as a professional experience was a nightmare until it was rescued by critics and people who liked it.

- Kenneth Lonergan

Happy, Proud, Very, Margaret

Very often what will happen between actors is that they'll develop kind of a ghost relationship in real life that reflects their relationship on screen or in the play that they're doing. In fact, I'd say that happens almost every time. I don't know why that happens, but it seems very common.

- Kenneth Lonergan

Play, Doing, Very, Reflects

Actors are very demanding because they have nowhere to hide. If I write a scene, it doesn't turn out very well, I don't ever have to show it to anyone; when you turn the camera on, or when you walk on stage, they have to feel like what's happening is real.

- Kenneth Lonergan

Show, Very, I Write, Camera

I can remember when I was 24, and I broke up with my first serious girlfriend for the first time. She was a very nice person, but she had a little bit of a tendency toward melodrama... Her response was to take the key to my apartment off of her key chain and hand it back to me.

- Kenneth Lonergan

Back, Very, Remember When, Nice Person

I know there are some actors who won't switch their accents off when they're on set and like to be called by their character's names. That works for them, and that's great.

- Kenneth Lonergan

Some, Set, Works, Switch

I was nearly a teen-ager before I stopped assuming that everyone I met was Jewish.

- Kenneth Lonergan

Everyone, Before, Stopped, Assuming

To me, 'director's cut' means that what was released before was somebody else's cut. That, to me, always implies that what was released wasn't what the director wanted.

- Kenneth Lonergan

Always, Cut, Means, Implies

Truthfully, and I don't mean to sound naive, but I don't know that much about the film business.

- Kenneth Lonergan

Business, Film Business, Naive

The really funny comedies to me are always the ones that are played the straightest or given the most emotional content. And when people start making faces and setting things up and commenting and winking at you, I don't find that to be very funny.

- Kenneth Lonergan

Content, Very, Winking, Comedies

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