Kathy Griffin Quotes

The great thing about celebrity culture is that they can't seem to stop themselves from displaying their ridiculous behaviour. I feel it's my job as a serious investigative journalist to witness all kinds of behaviour and then report back to the audience through the prism of my own anger and bitterness.

- Kathy Griffin

Celebrity, Own, Through, Bitterness

I'm not somebody who no matter where I go there are paparazzi or any of that nonsense. But I have a little window into that world and I can enter it and dance around. I want to be the audience's ticket into the party.

- Kathy Griffin

Want, Audience, Ticket, Paparazzi

I am an outsider looking in, absolutely. You're not going to see me at the Academy Awards 'Vanity Fair' party any time soon. I'm not somebody who, no matter where I go, there are paparazzi or any of that nonsense. But I have a little window into that world, and I can enter it and dance around. I want to be the audience's ticket into the party.

- Kathy Griffin

Fair, Matter, Vanity Fair, Paparazzi

I'm also doing a special for Comedy Central called Autobiography. It's going to be a spoof of Biography.

- Kathy Griffin

Doing, Comedy, Going, Spoof

I apologize in my real life all the time. I say ridiculous things, I make mistakes constantly. But when I'm on stage, I'm at a microphone... it's a joke!

- Kathy Griffin

Mistakes, Real, Say, Apologize

I have a no-apology policy. No apologies for jokes. I apologize in my real life all the time. I say ridiculous things, I make mistakes constantly. But when I'm on stage, I'm at a microphone... it's a joke!

- Kathy Griffin

Mistakes, Real, Say, Apologize

I have no limits, no filter, no class, no poise. No decorum. Just fun.

- Kathy Griffin

Class, Poise, Decorum, Filter

If you see me on Friday, you'll see different material on Saturday night.

- Kathy Griffin

See, Saturday, Material, Friday

I can say whatever I want. So do not bring the kids. It's definitely rated R.

- Kathy Griffin

Want, Bring, Definitely, Rated

I have friends who are going through chemotherapy, and they make the darkest, most hideous cancer jokes you've ever heard.

- Kathy Griffin

Friends, Through, Going, Chemotherapy

I also love Mole, the unsung hero of reality programming.

- Kathy Griffin

Love, Reality, Mole, Programming

I'm on every worst-dressed list imaginable.

- Kathy Griffin

List, Every, Imaginable

The thing that cracks me up is how these reality characters start out thrilled and excited just to be on television, and how they move to thinking they are as big as the Friends.

- Kathy Griffin

Big, Excited, Move, Cracks

My friend Anderson Cooper is the scion of one of America's great shipping and railroad families, the Vanderbilts.

- Kathy Griffin

Railroad, Families, Anderson, Shipping

Well, the coffeehouse audiences never know what they're going to get, and all the comics are different, as opposed to when you go to a club, and they're pretty much all telling jokes with set-ups and punchlines. Coffeehouse audiences are the most forgiving: They really listen, which is the best part.

- Kathy Griffin

Part, Telling, Comics, Best Part

So I wonder if anything should ever be off limits.

- Kathy Griffin

Wonder, Should, Ever, I Wonder

I grew up in Chicago and was a huge fan of 'The Second City', so when I moved to L.A., I was looking for anything that resembled that... then I started 'The Groundlings', so I went to a show and it was very much like 'Second City'. I was so impressed that that same night I went backstage and I went up to the funniest person there.

- Kathy Griffin

City, Very, Moved, Backstage

I'm not an artist. I tell inappropriate stories and jokes and I try to make people laugh.

- Kathy Griffin

Artist, Tell, Stories, Jokes

Pretty much everywhere I go, I'm pretty much thinking I'm going to be bounced. I am still the outsider who snuck into the party. I identify with the regular person, because that is who I am.

- Kathy Griffin

Pretty, Still, Identify, Regular

I identify with the regular person, because that is who I am.

- Kathy Griffin

I Am, Person, Identify, Regular

The thing that bums me out about 'The Real World' is I don't want to believe that teenagers are that stupid.

- Kathy Griffin

Stupid, Want, About, Bums

I hate it, it is tedious... when I write for my act, it is very improvisational, I write bullet points, I cannot sit in front of a computer; that is not my style.

- Kathy Griffin

Tedious, Very, I Write, Sit

I'm not always in that good with middle-aged heterosexual men.

- Kathy Griffin

Good, Men, Always, Middle-Aged

To give up my job as a temp and actually make a living doing comedy, it was staggering.

- Kathy Griffin

Doing, Give, Actually, Staggering

I am in love with Larry David.

- Kathy Griffin

Love, I Am, David, Larry

Oh, I constantly say things that I regret. I mortify myself constantly. But that's just part of the deal. I'm not really sure what's going to come out of my mouth.

- Kathy Griffin

Regret, Deal, Sure, Mortify

I constantly say things that I regret. I mortify myself constantly.

- Kathy Griffin

Myself, Regret, Things, Mortify

I do road gigs occasionally but I don't want to go out on the road for months at a time.

- Kathy Griffin

Road, Want, Months, Occasionally

I actually have to pick and chose stuff that I know I'm going to bomb at.

- Kathy Griffin

Going, Pick, Actually, Chose

I'll be honest, there's a part of me that does think I'm held to a different standard than my contemporaries and peers, and it's a little frustrating.

- Kathy Griffin

Think, Standard, Held, Frustrating

I'm a female in comedy, so of course I want there to be more women on 'SNL', and women of color.

- Kathy Griffin

Color, Comedy, SNL, Female

When I'm going to see a comedian, I don't want to see them hold back, and when I'm reading a book, I don't want to hear an abridged version.

- Kathy Griffin

Book, Want, Going, Version

Remember, folks, I am a comedian, not a journalist.

- Kathy Griffin

I Am, Remember, Comedian, Folks

I'm basically always on tour.

- Kathy Griffin

Always, Basically, Tour

Well, I think that when I perform on the road I always thank the audience for buying a ticket because it's a big deal to buy a ticket for a live entertainment, get a baby-sitter and pay for the meal, the parking, whatever.

- Kathy Griffin

Parking, Big, Deal, Ticket

It was a nightmare having cameras in the house 10 hours a day for a month.

- Kathy Griffin

Month, Hours, Having, Cameras

That's what I loved about Temptation Island. I don't even know why they did it.

- Kathy Griffin

Loved, Island, Even, Temptation

I prefer being known for my stand-up because I write it. I love being an actor, and saying other people's words is great. But then, when I do stand-up, I love getting my own point of view out there.

- Kathy Griffin

Love, Other, Prefer, Saying

I'm always listening and watching; my ear is like a boom mike. And judging, frankly. Constantly judging.

- Kathy Griffin

Listening, Always, Frankly, Ear

I love to work. I love doing standup.

- Kathy Griffin

Love, Doing, I Love, Standup

Well, my whole thing with gossip is I couldn't care less if it's true.

- Kathy Griffin

True, Well, Whole, Gossip

I have to tell you, though, the sexism in late night talk is so profound.

- Kathy Griffin

Late, Profound, Though, Sexism

I love Mariah Carey. Remember the breakdown? I loved the breakdown.

- Kathy Griffin

Love, Remember, I Love, Breakdown

I love to make fun of fashion because it is just so silly.

- Kathy Griffin

Love, Silly, I Love, Fashion

I have a no-apology policy.

- Kathy Griffin

Policy

No, I love Montreal... I think I love Montreal more than Montreal loves me... I love the food there.

- Kathy Griffin

Love, Think, I Love, Montreal

I think I love Montreal more than Montreal loves me... I love the food there.

- Kathy Griffin

Love, Think, I Love, Montreal

Well, Jon Hamm isn't a real celebrity.

- Kathy Griffin

Celebrity, Real, Well, Jon

Have I gone too far?

- Kathy Griffin

Far, Too, Gone

I think a Celebrity Survivor would be great.

- Kathy Griffin

Think, Celebrity, I Think, Survivor

It is a challenge, with the global fame, to try to act like I put my pants on one leg at a time, when in fact I have Pippa Middleton help me put my pants on every morning. She's my lady-in-waiting as well.

- Kathy Griffin

Fact, Pants, Global, Leg

Gwyneth Paltrow names her kid Apple. I'm not going to let that stand.

- Kathy Griffin

Apple, Her, Going, Names

Food is my thing, I do not smoke or drink, so food is my vice.

- Kathy Griffin

Food, Smoke, Thing, Vice

I also don't have a desire to be on the A-list. I feel more people can relate to the D-list than the A-list.

- Kathy Griffin

Desire, More, More People, Relate

I feel more people can relate to the D-list than the A-list.

- Kathy Griffin

More, Than, More People, Relate

A lot of celebrities, especially when you're talking about the really big ones, live in what I call the fame bubble. Nobody ever says no to them or challenges them or even teases them.

- Kathy Griffin

Challenges, Big, Celebrities, Fame

My act has always reflected what's going on in my life.

- Kathy Griffin

My Life, Always, Act, Reflected

But if something funny happens, I can't resist. I have to tell the people.

- Kathy Griffin

People, Tell, Happens, Resist

I don't like doing movies, period. Movies are hard. I like TV.

- Kathy Griffin

Movies, Doing, TV, Period

My act is based on my life.

- Kathy Griffin

Life, My Life, Act, Based

A lot of stars don't have a sense of humor.

- Kathy Griffin

Humor, Sense Of Humor, Lot, Stars

So yes, I say things I regret constantly, and I just can't help it.

- Kathy Griffin

Regret, Help, Things, Yes

I have what I call A-list moments, but believe me, I'm still on the D-list.

- Kathy Griffin

Me, Call, Still, Moments

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