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Judith Martin Quotes

Powerful Judith Martin for Daily Growth

About Judith Martin

Judith Martin, pen name Miss Manners, was born on February 13, 1938, in New York City to a family with strong literary roots. Her mother, Emily Post, was an etiquette authority, and her father, Peter Post, was a journalist. Growing up, Martin was exposed to the world of manners and social graces from an early age, which would later become the foundation for her work as Miss Manners. Martin studied at Mount Holyoke College but dropped out before graduation to get married in 1957. The marriage ended in divorce, and she moved to Paris with her daughter, where she worked as a freelance journalist and an assistant to her mother. It was during this time that Martin began writing a newspaper advice column on etiquette, which would later become the basis for her Miss Manners series. In 1978, Judith Martin took over her mother's etiquette column in the Washington Post under the pseudonym Miss Manners. The column quickly gained popularity and led to the publication of the first book, "Miss Manners' Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior" in 1978. Over the years, Martin published numerous books on etiquette, including "Miss Manners' Guide to Rude Behavior: How to Avoid Being a Total Beast," "Miss Manners' Guide to Dinner Parties," and "Miss Manners' Guide to Excess." Martin is known for her wit, humor, and no-nonsense approach to etiquette. Her work often challenges traditional norms while offering practical advice for navigating modern social situations. Martin passed away on January 8, 2018, but her legacy as a leading authority on manners continues to influence contemporary discussions on civility and social behavior.

Interpretations of Popular Quotes

"Manners are a sensitive weapon."

The quote by Judith Martin, "Manners are a sensitive weapon," suggests that proper etiquette, or manners, can be an effective tool for navigating social interactions. This means that good manners have the power to disarm conflict, create harmony, and subtly influence people's perception of us. They serve as a protective shield in dealing with others and can help us achieve our goals with grace and diplomacy. In other words, good manners are a sensitive yet powerful tool for social success.

"Good manners are more important than house decoration."

The quote by Judith Martin suggests that good behavior, or "good manners," is a more significant reflection of one's character and home environment than physical décor. It emphasizes that polite, respectful interactions with others demonstrate a higher level of social maturity, self-awareness, and emotional intelligence than the mere aesthetics of one's surroundings. In essence, good manners are a valuable asset in building strong relationships and creating a harmonious society, making them essential components for leading fulfilling lives.

"The only thing that can make a person seem longer-lived is good breeding."

This quote suggests that "good breeding," or being raised in a well-respected, wealthy, and socially-esteemed family, can give the illusion of prolonged life, not through biological means but rather through the longevity of reputation, connections, and resources. Essentially, it implies that social status can make one appear to have lived longer due to their enduring legacy in society.

"Remember that you are unique, and if that is not fulfilled, then who would want you?"

This quote suggests that every individual is inherently special and one-of-a-kind, and it's crucial to embrace this uniqueness, as it's precisely these differences that make us valuable. If we fail to recognize or express our unique qualities, we may not fully realize our potential or attract the right people and opportunities in life. In essence, accepting and valuing our individuality is essential for personal growth and fulfillment.

"It isn't etiquette to have nothing nice to say about anyone, but it is etiquette never to say a cruel or unkind thing about anybody."

This quote emphasizes the importance of maintaining a positive and respectful attitude towards others in society. It suggests that one should strive to express kindness and avoid causing harm through words, even when speaking about someone's character or actions. Essentially, it highlights the role etiquette plays in fostering a civil and empathetic social environment.

Many people mistakenly think a new technology cancels out an old one.

- Judith Martin

Think, New, Old, Old One

The language of clothing is high symbolism and we all, in moments where we need to know this, realize it.

- Judith Martin

Moments, Need, High, Clothing

Etiquette is all human social behavior. If you're a hermit on a mountain, you don't have to worry about etiquette; if somebody comes up the mountain, then you've got a problem. It matters because we want to live in reasonably harmonious communities.

- Judith Martin

Mountain, Got, About, Harmonious

We're now seeing email that people thought they had deleted showing up as evidence in court. You can't erase email. As that becomes more commonly realized, people will be a little wiser about what they type.

- Judith Martin

Thought, Evidence, About, Erase

Honesty has come to mean the privilege of insulting you to your face without expecting redress.

- Judith Martin

Honesty, Face, Expecting, Redress

You glance at an e-mail. You give more attention to a real letter.

- Judith Martin

Give, More, Letter, Glance

Email is very informal, a memo. But I find that not signing off or not having a salutation bothers me.

- Judith Martin

Very, Having, Bothers, Salutation

When people start hurling insults at you, you know their minds are closed and there's no point in debating. You disengage yourself as quickly as possible from the situation.

- Judith Martin

Start, Insults, Quickly, No Point

Etiquette does not render you defenseless. If it did, even I wouldn't subscribe to it. But rudeness in retaliation for rudeness just doubles the amount of rudeness in the world.

- Judith Martin

World, Subscribe, Amount, Retaliation

Learn graceful ways of saying no and of pointing out that this pressure to do something is not in line with most people's wishes.

- Judith Martin

Pressure, Learn, Line, Graceful

'Honesty' in social life is often used as a cover for rudeness. But there is quite a difference between being candid in what you're talking about, and people voicing their insulting opinions under the name of honesty.

- Judith Martin

Social, Often, About, Between

Most people who work at home find they do not have the benefit of receptionists who serve as personal guards.

- Judith Martin

Work, Find, Most, Guards

Parents should conduct their arguments in quiet, respectful tones, but in a foreign language. You'd be surprised what an inducement that is to the education of children.

- Judith Martin

Education, Language, Foreign, Tones

We already know that anonymous letters are despicable. In etiquette, as well as in law, hiring a hit man to do the job does not relieve you of responsibility.

- Judith Martin

Law, Hiring, Relieve, Letters

Chaperons don't enforce morality; they force immorality to be discreet.

- Judith Martin

Morality, Force, Discreet, Enforce

Chaperons, even in their days of glory, were almost never able to enforce morality; what they did was to force immorality to be discreet. This is no small contribution.

- Judith Martin

Small, Glory, Almost, Enforce

Over the last couple of decades, the personalization of the office changed dramatically... there's an informality people often take for the absence of rules - which it's not.

- Judith Martin

Over, Couple, Which, Dramatically

One of the big no-nos in cyberspace is that you do not go into a social activity, a chat group or something like that, and start advertising or selling things. This etiquette rule is an attempt to separate one's social life, which should be pure enjoyment and relaxation, from the pressures of work.

- Judith Martin

Big, Activity, Separate, Pressures

We are born charming, fresh and spontaneous and must be civilized before we are fit to participate in society.

- Judith Martin

Society, Fit, Civilized, Spontaneous

Freedom without rules doesn't work. And communities do not work unless they are regulated by etiquette.

- Judith Martin

Freedom, Etiquette, Unless, Communities

For email, the old postcard rule applies. Nobody else is supposed to read your postcards, but you'd be a fool if you wrote anything private on one.

- Judith Martin

Old, Private, Read, Email

The mistake people keep making is that if they find a wonderful new tool, like email, they have to give up all others. They don't. You have simply added another very useful means to your communications repertoire.

- Judith Martin

Another, Very, Added, Email

I make a distinction between manners and etiquette - manners as the principles, which are eternal and universal, etiquette as the particular rules which are arbitrary and different in different times, different situations, different cultures.

- Judith Martin

Which, Distinction, Different Cultures

There are three social classes in America: upper middle class, middle class, and lower middle class.

- Judith Martin

Middle, Social, Classes, Middle Class

I am a traditionalist, and I'm an innovator. Most of what I do is to weigh change and legislate to the best of my ability on what should change and what should not. Do I have a respect for tradition? Of course I do. Do I have a blind belief in it? No.

- Judith Martin

Change, Blind, Weigh, Innovator

First. I began my career as a copy girl. and the White House coverage, for example, was in the then-Women's section. So it was social coverage. It wasn't news, although we often got rather startling news out of it.

- Judith Martin

Career, Rather, Section, White House

People read informality as, 'Do whatever you feel like,' and whatever you feel like might be disastrous.

- Judith Martin

Like, Might, Read, Disastrous

If written directions alone would suffice, libraries wouldn't need to have the rest of the universities attached.

- Judith Martin

Alone, Rest, Would, Directions

Indeed, Miss Manners has come to believe that the basic political division in this country is not between liberals and conservatives but between those who believe that they should have a say in the love lives of strangers and those who do not.

- Judith Martin

Love, Country, Lives, Manners

The greater the controversy, the more you need manners.

- Judith Martin

More, Need, Greater, Manners

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