Jerry Lewis Quotes

Seeing a woman project the kind of aggression that you have to project as a comic just rubs me wrong.

- Jerry Lewis

Woman, Seeing, Kind, Rubs

When you're 89, dementia develops. I mean, I've told a story onstage, and I'm telling it with a full heart, and I forgot the damn punch line.

- Jerry Lewis

Line, Telling, Onstage, Forgot

I think the cartoons that they're children are watching, particularly 'The Simpsons,' they're OK. I think that the adult audience is making much too much of the danger that they imply. That's not the case. The danger for children today, honey, is the news. Keep them away from news on television.

- Jerry Lewis

Danger, Away, I Think, Cartoons

I like to watch all those shows that shouldn't be on the air - reality shows.

- Jerry Lewis

Watch, Like, Shows, Reality Shows

I got the 'Max Rose' script, and I fell in love with it. It just hit me. It was something that needed to be made.

- Jerry Lewis

Love, Needed, Made, Max

I have a loyalty that runs in my bloodstream, when I lock into someone or something, you can't get me away from it because I commit that thoroughly. That's in friendship, that's a deal, that's a commitment. Don't give me paper - I can get the same lawyer who drew it up to break it. But if you shake my hand, that's for life.

- Jerry Lewis

Friendship, Deal, Away, Give Me

From 1936 on, I have taken more falls than any other 20 comedians put together. From the time I was 21, I've taken them on everything from clay courts to cement to wood floors, coming off pianos, going out a two-story window, landing on Dean, falling into the rough. You do that and you're gonna have problems.

- Jerry Lewis

Other, Dean, Rough, Cement

Postwar America was a very buttoned-up nation. Radio shows were run by censors, Presidents wore hats, ladies wore girdles. We came straight out of the blue - nobody was expecting anything like Martin and Lewis. A sexy guy and a monkey is how some people saw us.

- Jerry Lewis

Monkey, Some, Very, Postwar

I've raised my boys the old-fashioned way, with spankings, sending them upstairs if they misbehave at parties, the works. I believe discipline is the proof of love.

- Jerry Lewis

Love, Works, Misbehave, Sending

Gambling is part of the human condition. I love it. I have the best time gambling. I've been winning fortunes, and I've been losing them.

- Jerry Lewis

Love, Human Condition, Been, Fortunes

Interviews are vital, but you cannot allow an interviewer to take your life and disturb it.

- Jerry Lewis

Disturb, Allow, Take, Interviewer

People hate me because I am a multifaceted, talented, wealthy, internationally famous genius.

- Jerry Lewis

Famous, Wealthy, Am, Internationally

The greatest thing I can remember in my whole career was the Ringling Brothers & Barnum and Bailey clowns asking me to appear with them at the Shrine Auditorium in Los Angeles in 1965.

- Jerry Lewis

Career, Clowns, Auditorium, Greatest Thing

For a comic to put a public performance in jeopardy for a snickering little laugh - no, no, no, I don't believe in it.

- Jerry Lewis

Performance, Jeopardy, Laugh

I would not want to do one-episode television - that's just a brief encounter with your audience. The arc takes the actor into an arena where he can really stretch.

- Jerry Lewis

Television, Audience, Brief, Arc

You can't be faulted for being selfish if you're going to get better because of it.

- Jerry Lewis

Selfish, Better, Going, Being Selfish

I dream in color.

- Jerry Lewis

Color, Dream, I Dream

Most performers are used to the highs and the lows. If you can let a low stop you, that would be a sad commentary.

- Jerry Lewis

Used, Performers, Lows, Highs

I never got a formal education. So my intellect is my common sense. I don't have anything else going for me. And my common sense opens the door to instinct.

- Jerry Lewis

Education, Door, Intellect, Common Sense

Red is uplifting.

- Jerry Lewis

Red, Uplifting

You would not believe some of the scripts I have seen. I have read something like 160 that I've rejected, and I keep them all, for posterity.

- Jerry Lewis

Some, Like, Read, Scripts

The young man who's had the Guggenheim fortune behind him all his life - he can hire all the authorities on the subject to teach him how to do a monologue, but he's never going to have the right stuff to pull it off. If he doesn't walk out onstage needing to walk out there, he doesn't have a dream of doing well.

- Jerry Lewis

Doing, Behind, Hire, Monologue

The film I did with Bobby De Niro, 'The King of Comedy' - an awful lot came to me out of that movie because De Niro never allowed me any room to be crazy. If I had tried to play it the way I would normally play it and get hysterical, Bobby would punch me.

- Jerry Lewis

Play, De Niro, Awful Lot, Normally

I really am opinionated, but not for long. I have found myself coming off of what I think of something because the guy I'm talking to makes better sense than I am. I have so many points of view, I can't keep track of 'em, because I talk to too many people... I'm not so opinionated that I won't budge.

- Jerry Lewis

Talking, Guy, I Think, Too Many People

Marilyn Monroe was a fabulous dame - fabulous.

- Jerry Lewis

Marilyn, Marilyn Monroe, Dame

I need the applause.

- Jerry Lewis

Need, Applause

People think I'm against critics because they are negative to my work. That's not what bothers me. What bothers me is they didn't see the work. I have seen critics print stuff about stuff I cut out of the film before we ran it. So don't tell me about critics.

- Jerry Lewis

Against, Before, Cut, Ran

Getting attention is my business. My whole life's predicated on, 'Hey, look at me!'

- Jerry Lewis

Business, Me, Getting, Hey

When I would be myself, I was being big-headed. I was being egotistical. I was a megalomaniac, when it really was just having not to be a monkey for a few hours a day. And fulfilling the need to be a man.

- Jerry Lewis

Monkey, Hours, Having, Megalomaniac

Don't you understand how dramatic it is to be a comic? To be a fool, to get people to laugh at this show-off? Milton Berle could take Laurence Olivier and stick him under the table if he wanted to. And so could I.

- Jerry Lewis

Him, How, Laurence, Table

I have some very personal feelings about politics, but I don't get into it because I do comedy already.

- Jerry Lewis

Politics, Some, Very, Feelings

You can't hold comedy back, because it needs to be exposed.

- Jerry Lewis

Comedy, Back, Needs, Exposed

It'll keep you alive for another 10 years if you get yourself a laugh once a day: either provoke it, or look around in the wildest laboratory in the world, the public.

- Jerry Lewis

Look, Alive, Another, Laugh

My dad was a stickler for teaching me the pratfall. There is something magical about taking a good fall, and when it works, when you get that laugh, there's no better feeling in the world.

- Jerry Lewis

About, Works, Dad, Laugh

There's nothing more dramatic than the comedy I've done. Because the comedy I've done is to get to the audience, get them to feel it, or they won't laugh.

- Jerry Lewis

Comedy, Audience, More, Laugh

I never stop working.

- Jerry Lewis

Working, Never, Stop, Never Stop

Pity? You don't want to be pitied because you're a cripple in a wheelchair? Stay in your house!

- Jerry Lewis

Want, Wheelchair, Pity, Pitied

A woman doing comedy doesn't offend me, but sets me back a bit. I, as a viewer, have trouble with it. I think of her as a producing machine that brings babies in the world.

- Jerry Lewis

Doing, Think, Viewer, Offend

Billy Crystal, Steve Martin do wonderful things.

- Jerry Lewis

Crystal, Steve Martin, Billy, Wonderful Things

I tell young comics, 'Do you want this badly enough? It's there. But you have to go get it. And if you think I'm going to give you the key to the lock of that door, there is no key, there is no lock, and there is no door.'

- Jerry Lewis

Think, Give, Badly, Key

I expect people that come to the studio to work to come with the same energy I come with. If I see less than that, I get very strong about, if you want to do this, come with a sense of pride, come with eagerness and anxiety.

- Jerry Lewis

Strong, Studio, Very, Eagerness

When you are debilitated, and you're very depressed, and you believe there's no hope, you cannot get a better potpourri of down.

- Jerry Lewis

Hope, Believe, Very, Depressed

I learned from my dad that when you walk in front of an audience, they are the kings and queens, and you're but the jester.

- Jerry Lewis

Audience, Learned, Dad, Queens

There's something wonderful about taking a tag off a pair of socks, off a shirt, off a jacket. I really think that it has to do with my wanting to give myself all the perks that there are. It's part of my psychosis.

- Jerry Lewis

Think, Give, Wanting, Perks

I say to everybody, love is what wakes you up in the morning, love is what makes you walk, and love is what makes you hope.

- Jerry Lewis

Love, Everybody, Wakes, Love Is

Love is what makes you dream, and love is what makes you want to get up in the morning. Love is something that you want to be a part of because it makes you better.

- Jerry Lewis

Love, Want, Part, Love Is

That never stops. That's what drives you: the joy and excitement of doing what you love.

- Jerry Lewis

Love, Never, What You Love, Excitement

This is the pain pacemaker. I've got a battery under my skin. From that battery are two electrodes that go into the spine where they cut bone away to accommodate it. Now I put on the power here. If I have the pain, the stimulator starts. It's tingling, like when your foot falls asleep, you know?

- Jerry Lewis

Here, Cut, Pacemaker, Accommodate

I was once six feet tall, but at 85, I'm now five feet four.

- Jerry Lewis

Feet, Six, Once, Tall

I'm an unusual man. I know that.

- Jerry Lewis

Man, Know, Unusual

A lot of people resent that I've been in someone's life for 50 years. Why shouldn't people have an affection for me and what I've done? Didn't I have to be genuine for them to buy into what I did? There are children who grow up today who will not have that when they're 55 years old. With whom will they have it? Name an example for me.

- Jerry Lewis

Been, Resent, Buy, Affection

The beauty of love, as far as I'm concerned, is it makes you better. It makes you stronger. It gives you direction. It gives you understanding of what life is and what we've been given.

- Jerry Lewis

Love, Been, Given, As Far As

When I was onstage doing the work, adrenaline killed the pain because I never hurt in front of an audience.

- Jerry Lewis

Pain, Doing, Audience, Front

I don't want to be remembered. I want the nice words when I can hear them.

- Jerry Lewis

Words, Remembered, Want, Hear

I'm really not thick-skinned - my wife will tell you that I take sunsets personally - but I know that I've got the belly for whatever comes down the pike. I think it's tenacity. You've been there before, and you just have to recall, 'How did I handle that one?'

- Jerry Lewis

Been, I Think, Belly, Sunsets

I will do whatever is necessary to make better the stupidity on my part - and therefore go after those who are acting stupid themselves. It's not popular. You don't make friends when you do that. And I couldn't care less.

- Jerry Lewis

Stupid, Themselves, Part, Popular

An only child, I always wanted a large hug-house.

- Jerry Lewis

Always, Wanted, Large, Only Child

When you get a question like, 'Did you like meeting Her Majesty?' 'No, I thought she was a slob.' I mean, what are you going to say... The mischief comes into me when I'm doing a Q&A, I'm 9 years old again. I don't get mad. I do get offended.

- Jerry Lewis

Thought, Doing, Offended, Majesty

I don't ordinarily do television because I don't like some of the things projected on it.

- Jerry Lewis

Some, Like, Projected, Ordinarily

You want to know why Barbra Streisand is so difficult? Because she's brilliant. She's a brilliant entertainer, she's a brilliant lady, and she's a wonderful human being, and the community doesn't like it.

- Jerry Lewis

Human Being, Brilliant, Like, Streisand

The connection between pathos and broad comedy is very tight. But you do far more work in a comedy scene than you do in a straight scene. It's much harder.

- Jerry Lewis

Comedy, Very, Pathos, Harder

You think about getting old, but when you get there, it's not what you thought it would be.

- Jerry Lewis

Thought, Think, Getting, Getting Old

I almost get annoyed at the fact that I'm not going to use all that I got.

- Jerry Lewis

Fact, Going, Almost, Annoyed

When I'm working, I stay in ICU in any hospital that will get me a bed.

- Jerry Lewis

Will, Bed, Get, Hospital

A wonderful thing happens over time. You fall in love with the sound of your own voice.

- Jerry Lewis

Love, Voice, Over, Wonderful Thing

I don't like any female comedians.

- Jerry Lewis

Comedians, Like, Any, Female

The people at Columbia Pictures have been great, but I had to tell them, 'Please don't be nice to me. Just pay me.'

- Jerry Lewis

Tell, Pay, Been, Columbia

If I found the cure for dystrophy tomorrow, I would do a telethon in four weeks for acute pain that in this country is a bigger problem than cancer, heart, sickle cell, anemia, name it. It is - it's hitting 70 million Americans.

- Jerry Lewis

Country, Acute, Weeks, Million

To ask a pratfall comedian, a dishes-in-the-face comic like me, to lay back and bring none of that stuff to the script because it doesn't call for it? That's tough.

- Jerry Lewis

Bring, Like, Lay, Comedian

I think it has helped that I am so curious about what has been happening to me and that I have enjoyed watching the changes through my life, you know? I didn't know what was going to happen to me next.

- Jerry Lewis

My Life, Through, Next, Happening

I almost resent being Charley Moviestar. Yeah, I'm grateful. But it takes me away from my kids.

- Jerry Lewis

Grateful, Away, Almost, Charley

Adrenaline is wonderful. It covers pain. It covers dementia. It covers everything.

- Jerry Lewis

Pain, Dementia, Adrenaline, Covers

We're leaving the House to people who either were born with a silver spoon in their mouth... or couldn't get better jobs in the first place.

- Jerry Lewis

House, Born, Jobs, Leaving

What's happened at 85 is I've lost my appetite. I used to be a little hog when I was young. But now I really don't seem to need it.

- Jerry Lewis

Young, Need, Hog, Appetite

I get paid for what most kids get punished for.

- Jerry Lewis

Get, Paid, Most, Punished

Adrenaline is so strong that none of us understand it.

- Jerry Lewis

Strong, Understand, None, Adrenaline

When I hit around 65, 66, I started to feel tremendous worth and incredible personal esteem. I was becoming very cognisant of my contribution to the American spirit of helping your fellow man and all of the good stuff.

- Jerry Lewis

Becoming, Very, Fellow Man, Fellow

I happen to believe in the human condition so strongly that I don't have to make up games to play with people. Here's what I think: If it's good, let's go for it. If it needs work to be better, let's work on it.

- Jerry Lewis

Play, Here, Human Condition, Make Up

I've had great success being a total idiot.

- Jerry Lewis

Success, Idiot, Total, Great Success

You see, the people that have a point of view and have an opinion and have some intellect are dangerous in the film community - they're dangerous.

- Jerry Lewis

Some, Dangerous, Intellect, Opinion

Being 90 is not simple, but it's interesting, very interesting. Before I was 90, I could walk, I could see well, I could hear terrific, and now, I can't hear or see or walk.

- Jerry Lewis

Could, Before, Very, Terrific

I think the movie industry has to pay attention that we need to make good quality films, or we are never going to get the business back.

- Jerry Lewis

Think, I Think, Films, Quality

If you're an old pro, you know how well you're doing when you're doing it, and your inner government spanks you if you're not doing well.

- Jerry Lewis

Doing, Old, Your, Inner

I'm always thinking about future projects and at the same time trying to finish the project you're in the middle off.

- Jerry Lewis

Middle, Always, Projects, Finish

I am probably the most selfish man you will ever meet in your life. No one gets the satisfaction or the joy that I get out of seeing kids realize there is hope.

- Jerry Lewis

Will, Your, Am, Satisfaction

Turning 90 is not for sissies.

- Jerry Lewis

Sissies, Turning

Going unnoticed has never been my strong suit.

- Jerry Lewis

Strong, Never, Been, Unnoticed

When I arrived in Las Vegas, I felt I was embraced by it.

- Jerry Lewis

Vegas, Arrived, Las Vegas, Embraced

I never tell an audience what they can expect. I never have and I never will. I'm an entertainer for 75 years.

- Jerry Lewis

Never, Audience, Expect, Entertainer

I feel I have been a part of some very wonderful films, and I have had it in mind when I was on the set, every day, that what I am doing has meaning.

- Jerry Lewis

Some, Very, Films, Meaning

I'm shocked to be saying this, but as a child, I never went to a circus. It cost too much.

- Jerry Lewis

Too Much, Cost, Shocked, Circus

I turned down 'Some Like It Hot.' See how smart I am? I felt I couldn't bring anything funny to it. The outfit was funny. I don't need to compete with the wardrobe.

- Jerry Lewis

Some, Compete, Turned, Smart

My Judaism has always been a great pride with me.

- Jerry Lewis

Always, Been, Judaism, Pride

You can ask me anything you want. That doesn't mean I'm going to answer you.

- Jerry Lewis

Want, Mean, Going, Answer

I believe when you go out there, you have a responsibility to deliver. I have old-fashioned thinking when I'm out there.

- Jerry Lewis

Responsibility, Go, Deliver, Old-Fashioned

I go where the action is.

- Jerry Lewis

Go, Where, Action

Commercial television has underestimated the intelligence of the public.

- Jerry Lewis

Commercial, Public, Underestimated

I have always said that I cannot allow the child within me to die. It's kept me alive.

- Jerry Lewis

Die, Always, Allow, Kept

When you're doing a different kind of film, you have to bring a different kind of attitude; you have to bring a different kind of concentration.

- Jerry Lewis

Doing, Kind, Bring, Different Kind

God hadn't made me handsome, but he'd given me something, I always felt: funny bones.

- Jerry Lewis

Handsome, Always, Given, Bones

Every man's dream is to be able to sink into the arms of a woman without also falling into her hands.

- Jerry Lewis

Funny, Woman, Falling, Arms

I'm really, basically, nine, and I've always been that. I've never, ever allowed the child within me to die.

- Jerry Lewis

Die, Always, Nine, Basically

I don't talk about anything negative.

- Jerry Lewis

Talk, Anything, About, Negative

I will not say anything negative about the president of the United States. I don't do that. And I don't allow my children to do that.

- Jerry Lewis

Will, United States, Allow, Negative

My family was as absolute as the work.Family was first always.

- Jerry Lewis

Family, Always, First, Absolute

My ego and my vanities have nothing to do with comedy.

- Jerry Lewis

Comedy, Nothing, Ego

Most people are embarrassed to admit there's another human being that's in control of them, that your heart beats three times as fast because you've given yourself to someone else.

- Jerry Lewis

Embarrassed, Another, Your, Beats

I want to know why the government of this country can't take care of the people who are keeping us safe?

- Jerry Lewis

Want, Country, Keeping, Safe

I'm sour at times.

- Jerry Lewis

Times, Sour

I've had the greatest respect for my work in this country by Americans. Critics have no brains.

- Jerry Lewis

Work, Country, Brains, Critics

When I get an idea, I start to write like I was electrically motivated.

- Jerry Lewis

Like, Idea, Get, Motivated

If I was performing, I had no pain. But you can't stay on stage 24 hours a day.

- Jerry Lewis

Pain, Hours, Had, Performing

What happens at 90 is that I don't walk so good, my eyes are going, I can't hear well, and I'm getting all of the 90s residuals.

- Jerry Lewis

Good, Going, Getting, Eyes

I think so much in time. I always have. Even at 20, I thought in terms of time, that I don't have a lot of time left. And I want to do so many things.

- Jerry Lewis

Think, Always, I Think, Terms

When I was young, I wasn't disciplined at all.

- Jerry Lewis

Young, Disciplined

I started as a writer. I had the dumb act, but I made my living from writing.

- Jerry Lewis

Living, Act, Made, Dumb

Nothing can stop anyone who has a love and passion about their work.

- Jerry Lewis

Love, Work, Stop, Anyone

I never tell an audience what they can expect. I never have, and I never will.

- Jerry Lewis

Never, Audience, Will, Expect

My God, the stage is the only place I know where to go.

- Jerry Lewis

Know, Go, Only, Stage

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