Hors D'oeuvre: A ham sandwich cut into forty pieces.
- Jack Benny
Pieces, Cut, Ham, Sandwich
I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either.
- Jack Benny
Funny, Deserve, Either, Arthritis
Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
- Jack Benny
Mind, Matter, Over, Strictly
Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air.
- Jack Benny
Beautiful, Sports, Give, Fresh
My wife Mary and I have been married for forty-seven years and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce; murder, yes, but divorce, never.
- Jack Benny
Wife, Argument, Been, Divorce
Modesty is my best quality.
- Jack Benny
Best, Quality, Modesty
It's not so much knowing when to speak, when to pause.
- Jack Benny
Speak, Knowing, Much, Pause
I don't want to tell you how much insurance I carry with the Prudential, but all I can say is: when I go, they go too.
- Jack Benny
Insurance, Want, Tell, Carry
Gags die, humor doesn't.
- Jack Benny
Humor, Die
If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
- Jack Benny
Funny, Mind, You, Matter
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