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Henny Youngman Quotes

Powerful Henny Youngman for Daily Growth

About Henny Youngman

Henny Youngman, born Henri Samuel Youngman on January 16, 1906, in Montreal, Canada, was a renowned American comedian, actor, and violinist known for his quick wit, self-deprecating humor, and one-liners. Raised in a Jewish family, he developed an early love for music, learning to play the violin before moving onto comedy. In 1926, Youngman emigrated to the United States where he worked as a violinist in vaudeville houses and later in orchestras for radio programs. It was during this time that his interest in stand-up comedy began to take root. In the 1940s, he started performing as a comedian, quickly gaining recognition for his quick humor and puns. One of Youngman's most iconic contributions to comedy is his use of the phrase "Take my wife... please!" which became his signature line. This catchphrase was a part of a broader repertoire that included thousands of one-liners, many of which were built around his stereotypical persona of a bumbling, long-suffering husband. Throughout his career, Henny Youngman made numerous appearances on television shows such as "The Ed Sullivan Show," "The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson," and "Rowan & Martin's Laugh-In." He also released several albums, including "Henny Youngman's Greatest Hits" and "One-Liners Galore." Despite his success, Henny Youngman remained humble, attributing his humor to a combination of talent, hard work, and a little bit of luck. He passed away on January 24, 1998, leaving behind a legacy of laughter that continues to inspire comedians today.

Interpretations of Popular Quotes

"Take my wife... please!"

The quote, "Take my wife... please!" by Henny Youngman is a humorous expression often used in popular culture to suggest an offer or invitation without any actual intention or expectation of the action being accepted. In this case, it's a lighthearted way of expressing that one's spouse can be bothersome or annoying at times, as if inviting someone else to take over and deal with them instead.

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."

The quote by Henny Youngman is a humorous expression suggesting that the current event or situation might be enjoyable, but it does not meet the level of satisfaction or perfection one desires or expects. It implies a longing for something more or different, hinting at an unmet expectation or desire that remains unsatisfied.

"I tell ya, I was so much older then; I'm younger than that now."

This quote by Henny Youngman is a playful expression of personal growth and change over time. He suggests that in the past he was older (in terms of wisdom or maturity), but now, despite physically aging, he has transformed into a newer, younger version of himself, presumably wiser or more understanding as a result of life experiences. It's a humorous way to acknowledge personal development and evolution over the years.

"I've got all the money I'll ever need - if I die by 4 o'clock."

This quote humorously expresses a state of financial security where the speaker believes they have enough wealth to last them for the rest of their life, given that they are confident of living beyond a certain point in time (in this case, 4 o'clock). It is a humorous take on the concept of being financially independent.

"I must have a photographic memory - my mind just doesn't develop!"

This quote humorously expresses that the speaker, Henny Youngman, claims to have a photographic memory, which is the ability to remember visual information without much effort. However, he uses irony to imply that his memory is not as effective as he claims because it does not improve over time, but instead remains stagnant or even deteriorates (as indicated by "my mind just doesn't develop!").

Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.

- Henny Youngman

Anniversary, Dancing, Some, Times

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.

- Henny Youngman

Marriage, Happy, Remains

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.

- Henny Youngman

Medical, Broke, Going, Leg

This is an elegant hotel! Room service has an unlisted number.

- Henny Youngman

Service, Hotel, Number, Room Service

Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it.

- Henny Youngman

Worth It, Why, Cost, Divorces

When I told my doctor I couldn't afford an operation, he offered to touch-up my X-rays.

- Henny Youngman

Medical, Doctor, Afford, Operation

My son complains about headaches. I tell him all the time, when you get out of bed, it's feet first!

- Henny Youngman

Feet, Bed, Tell, Complains

A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student.

- Henny Youngman

Teacher, Student, Poor, Self-Taught

There was a girl knocking on my hotel room door all night! Finally, I let her out.

- Henny Youngman

Night, Door, Finally, Knocking

She has a wash and wear bridal gown.

- Henny Youngman

She, Wash, Bridal, Gown

Those two are a fastidious couple. She's fast and he's hideous.

- Henny Youngman

Fast, She, Couple, Fastidious

The horse I bet on was so slow, the jockey kept a diary of the trip.

- Henny Youngman

Horse, Diary, Bet, Jockey

How to drive a guy crazy: send him a telegram and on the top put 'page 2.'

- Henny Youngman

Crazy, Top, How, Telegram

While playing golf today I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.

- Henny Youngman

Golf, Hit, Stepped, Rake

You look like a talent scout for a cemetery.

- Henny Youngman

Talent, Look, Like, Cemetery

She's been married so many times she has rice marks on her face.

- Henny Youngman

Marriage, She, Been, Marks

This man used to go to school with his dog. Then they were separated. His dog graduated!

- Henny Youngman

School, Graduation, His, Graduated

I know a man who doesn't pay to have his trash taken out. How does he get rid of his trash? He gift wraps it, and puts in into an unlocked car.

- Henny Youngman

Gift, Pay, Rid, Trash

Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means.

- Henny Youngman

Love, Marriage, Means, Do You Know

This man is frank and earnest with women. In Fresno, he's Frank and in Chicago he's Ernest.

- Henny Youngman

Women, Man, Frank, Earnest

If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving.

- Henny Youngman

Funny, Succeed, Skydiving, If At First

I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays.

- Henny Youngman

Christmas, Holidays, Wanted, Atheist

My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself.

- Henny Youngman

Expert, Other, Joined, Brother-In-Law

A Jewish woman had two chickens. One got sick, so the woman made chicken soup out of the other one to help the sick one get well.

- Henny Youngman

Chicken, Soup, Other, Get Well

She's a big-hearted girl with hips to match.

- Henny Youngman

Girl, She, Match, Hips

Why don't Jews drink? It interferes with their suffering.

- Henny Youngman

Suffering, Why, Jews, Interferes

I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.

- Henny Youngman

She, Her, Take, Keeps

If you had your life to live over again, do it overseas.

- Henny Youngman

Over, Again, Had, Overseas

You have a ready wit. Tell me when it's ready.

- Henny Youngman

Me, Ready, Tell, Wit

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

- Henny Youngman

Drinking, About, Read, Evils

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