Helen Rowland Quotes

Don't waste time trying to break a man's heart; be satisfied if you can just manage to chip it in a brand new place.

- Helen Rowland

Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times.

- Helen Rowland

France may claim the happiest marriages in the world, but the happiest divorces in the world are 'made in America.'

- Helen Rowland

There are only two kinds of men; the dead and the deadly.

- Helen Rowland

Love, like a chicken salad or restaurant hash, must be taken with blind faith or it loses its flavor.

- Helen Rowland

When two people decide to get a divorce, it isn't a sign that they 'don't understand' one another, but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.

- Helen Rowland

Between lovers a little confession is a dangerous thing.

- Helen Rowland

A man snatches the first kiss, pleads for the second, demands the third, takes the fourth, accepts the fifth - and endures all the rest.

- Helen Rowland

Woman: the peg on which the wit hangs his jest, the preacher his text, the cynic his grouch and the sinner his justification.

- Helen Rowland

Falling in love consists merely in uncorking the imagination and bottling the common sense.

- Helen Rowland

Marriage is like twirling a baton, turning hand springs or eating with chopsticks. It looks easy until you try it.

- Helen Rowland

What a man calls his 'conscience' is merely the mental action that follows a sentimental reaction after too much wine or love.

- Helen Rowland

A husband is what is left of a lover, after the nerve has been extracted.

- Helen Rowland

It isn't tying himself to one woman that a man dreads when he thinks of marrying; it's separating himself from all the others.

- Helen Rowland

And verily, a woman need know but one man well, in order to understand all men; whereas a man may know all women and understand not one of them.

- Helen Rowland

A man's heart may have a secret sanctuary where only one woman may enter, but it is full of little anterooms which are seldom vacant.

- Helen Rowland

A fool and her money are soon courted.

- Helen Rowland

A wise woman puts a grain of sugar into everything she says to a man, and takes a grain of salt with everything he says to her.

- Helen Rowland

The tenderest spot in a man's make-up is sometimes the bald spot on top of his head.

- Helen Rowland

It takes a woman twenty years to make a man of her son, and another woman twenty minutes to make a fool of him.

- Helen Rowland

It takes one woman twenty years to make a man of her son - and another woman twenty minutes to make a fool of him.

- Helen Rowland

A man is like a cat; chase him and he will run - sit still and ignore him and he'll come purring at your feet.

- Helen Rowland

Every man wants a woman to appeal to his better side, his nobler instincts, and his higher nature - and another woman to help him forget them.

- Helen Rowland

When a man spends his time giving his wife criticism and advice instead of compliments, he forgets that it was not his good judgment, but his charming manners, that won her heart.

- Helen Rowland

There are people whose watch stops at a certain hour and who remain permanently at that age.

- Helen Rowland

A man can become so accustomed to the thought of his own faults that he will begin to cherish them as charming little 'personal characteristics.'

- Helen Rowland

The woman who appeals to a man's vanity may stimulate him, the woman who appeals to his heart may attract him, but it is the woman who appeals to his imagination who gets him.

- Helen Rowland

Failing to be there when a man wants her is the greatest sin a woman can commit - except being there when he doesn't want her.

- Helen Rowland

Nowadays love is a matter of chance, matrimony a matter of money and divorce a matter of course.

- Helen Rowland

Love, the quest; marriage, the conquest; divorce, the inquest.

- Helen Rowland

Some women can be fooled all of the time, and all women can be fooled some of the time, but the same woman can't be fooled by the same man in the same way more than half of the time.

- Helen Rowland

It is easier to keep half a dozen lovers guessing than to keep one lover after he has stopped guessing.

- Helen Rowland

No man can understand why a woman shouldn't prefer a good reputation to a good time.

- Helen Rowland

Never trust a husband too far, nor a bachelor too near.

- Helen Rowland

After marriage, a woman's sight becomes so keen that she can see right through her husband without looking at him, and a man's so dull that he can look right through his wife without seeing her.

- Helen Rowland

Telling lies is a fault in a boy, an art in a lover, an accomplishment in a bachelor, and second-nature in a married man.

- Helen Rowland

In love, somehow, a man's heart is always either exceeding the speed limit, or getting parked in the wrong place.

- Helen Rowland

Ever since Eve started it all by offering Adam the apple, woman's punishment has been to supply a man with food then suffer the consequences when it disagrees with him.

- Helen Rowland

A man's desire for a son is usually nothing but the wish to duplicate himself in order that such a remarkable pattern may not be lost to the world.

- Helen Rowland

When a girl marries, she exchanges the attentions of many men for the inattention of one.

- Helen Rowland

The follies which a man regrets the most in his life are those which he didn't commit when he had the opportunity.

- Helen Rowland

The hardest task in a girl's life is to prove to a man that his intentions are serious.

- Helen Rowland

Flirting is the gentle art of making a man feel pleased with himself.

- Helen Rowland

In olden times sacrifices were made at the altar - a practice which is still continued.

- Helen Rowland

You will never win if you never begin.

- Helen Rowland

A bride at her second marriage does not wear a veil. She wants to see what she is getting.

- Helen Rowland

Variety is the spice of love.

- Helen Rowland

A man never knows how to say goodbye; a woman never knows when to say it.

- Helen Rowland

Why does a man take it for granted that a girl who flirts with him wants him to kiss her - when, nine times out of ten, she only wants him to want to kiss her?

- Helen Rowland

Marriage is the miracle that transforms a kiss from a pleasure into a duty.

- Helen Rowland

A woman's flattery may inflate a man's head a little; but her criticism goes straight to his heart, and contracts it so that it can never again hold quite as much love for her.

- Helen Rowland

A bachelor never quite gets over the idea that he is a thing of beauty and a boy forever.

- Helen Rowland

Somehow a bachelor never quite gets over the idea that he is a thing of beauty and a boy forever.

- Helen Rowland

Home is any four walls that enclose the right person.

- Helen Rowland

A Bachelor of Arts is one who makes love to a lot of women, and yet has the art to remain a bachelor.

- Helen Rowland

When a man makes a woman his wife, it's the highest compliment he can pay her, and it's usually the last.

- Helen Rowland

Jealousy is the tie that binds, and binds, and binds.

- Helen Rowland

There's so much saint in the worst of them, and so much devil in the best of them, that a woman who's married to one of them, has nothing to learn of the rest of them.

- Helen Rowland

To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

- Helen Rowland

Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.

- Helen Rowland

When you see what some women marry, you realize how they must hate to work for a living.

- Helen Rowland

Wedding: the point at which a man stops toasting a woman and begins roasting her.

- Helen Rowland

One man's folly is another man's wife.

- Helen Rowland