Fred Willard Quotes

I still think 'Texas Chain Saw Massacre' was what they call one of those watershed movies. That and 'The Exorcist' and 'Psycho' were just landmarks for those horror films.

- Fred Willard

Tobe Hooper - he did my favorite horror movie, 'Texas Chain Saw Massacre.' It's still one of my favorite horror films.

- Fred Willard

I did a show called 'Lois & Clark' - it was about Superman - years ago. They wanted someone to play the president of the United States. The plot was the president got kidnapped by a group, and they made a clone of him, who was very irresponsible and silly.

- Fred Willard

As an actor, and as you get to a certain level... and it's pilot season and you read the trades, you could have a nervous breakdown. 'So-and-so's signed for a pilot. Why aren't I?'

- Fred Willard

My stepfather was a military man: he was in the Air Force. Reserve. You thought he'd seen front-line action, but he was stationed in Cleveland.

- Fred Willard

I saw the 'Wizard of Oz' recently and realized that, all my life, I thought they were real monkeys with wings. That's how scary that movie was for me.

- Fred Willard

The witch in 'Snow White' is a very scary image.

- Fred Willard

I really enjoy working on 'Modern Family.'

- Fred Willard

Some of the Christopher Guest movies, when I'm not really like myself, when I have my hair dyed blonde or had a faux-hawk haircut. Those I like to watch because it takes you away from your real self.

- Fred Willard

I don't know why my lines that were cut from the film didn't make it onto the DVD. I have offered to go into the editing room with Christopher and work shoulder to shoulder with him to fit all my lines in. I think he thinks I'm kidding. I'm only trying to help.

- Fred Willard

A great director is someone who makes you feel like you're moving forward.

- Fred Willard

I like to play the guy that has no self-awareness.

- Fred Willard

I once was in a project. They were going to do a remake. Somebody started a rumor I wanted more money. I said, 'This is ridiculous. I'd kill for this project!'

- Fred Willard

I try to shy away from playing cranky people, but if it's just a funny next-door neighbor or business man, I'll say, 'Sure, why not?'

- Fred Willard

I used to collect autographs outside of the old Cleveland Stadium. I can still remember everyone who took the time and spent a few minutes to make your day. That sticks with you.

- Fred Willard

One of the first shows I ever did was 'Laverne & Shirley.' I played this sleazy guy that came into town with a friend and was going to date Laverne and Shirley, but we really wanted to get into the bowling alley because it was next to the bank we wanted to rob.

- Fred Willard

I guess it's from going to Virginia Military Institute. I'm a good person to follow orders.

- Fred Willard

I've never crossed over to be a big star. I'd like to be in a big $100 million movie, though. 'Cause I was in an 'Austin Powers,' I think I had two lines, and every once in a while, I get a check, a really nice check, for that movie.

- Fred Willard

I think if you have a funny thought, and you want to get off a funny point, try to do it as realistically as you can. If you try to act it funny and accent the funny points, or do it in a funny style, you kind of lose it.

- Fred Willard

I always loved comedy growing up - Bob Hope, Red Skelton and Danny Kaye.

- Fred Willard

I loved Bob Hope and the way he would turn to the camera and break the fourth wall.

- Fred Willard

Everybody I run into goes, 'Hey, 'Best in Show!'' Or, 'Hey, that dog movie!' which I don't mind because I'm not too good on titles.

- Fred Willard

Kids can relate to having some scary person living near their house. They can relate to, 'Hey, don't go near that house.' We all can.

- Fred Willard

Cleveland is my hometown, and the Indians have a narrow but rich history.

- Fred Willard

It's not a bad typecast: the goofy guy.

- Fred Willard

Getting those parts in the Christopher Guest movies was the second biggest helper to my career after 'Fernwood.'

- Fred Willard

It scared me to death to think about improv, but I got hired for a year at Second City in Chicago, which made me nervous, but I found I could improvise. Then I was in a group called the Ace Trucking Company, which we'd do, like, a half hour set of material, then open up for improvisation.

- Fred Willard

If I have to play an obnoxious character, try to find a redeeming feature of him. The most obnoxious people in the world were people, and they had had a reason for doing what they did. So you try to find that and let the obnoxiousness come out.

- Fred Willard

I like the characters that have some redeeming quality or if it's interesting to me in any way.

- Fred Willard

My first improv was Second City in Chicago. Before that, I worked at - with a partner, doing comedy sketches.

- Fred Willard

One of the great things about kids is they haven't heard a lot of the old jokes. You can get away with the corny ones.

- Fred Willard

I just admire everybody and sit in awe and watch them.

- Fred Willard

If you're a cheerleader, people see you. If you're a mascot, you're just helping out.

- Fred Willard

When we need a policeman, God bless 'em, they're there. But, if you're in the wrong place at the wrong time, everything seems suspicious.

- Fred Willard

'Field of Dreams.' Definitely one of the best baseball films of all time. When Kevin Costner spoke to his dad, and his dad answered, I, um, I mean a lot of guys I know couldn't help crying.

- Fred Willard

Martin Landau in 'Crimes and Misdemeanors' - he gave me chills.

- Fred Willard

I have a guy who does my hair. He's a car nut. And he was taking motorcycle lessons. And, what was my point?

- Fred Willard

God bless Chris Guest... and I mean it sincerely.

- Fred Willard

I love sketch; it's my favorite form. But if it's all improv, they're either very good, and it's annoying how good they are, and it makes you feel bad, or they're not too good; then you're sweating for them.

- Fred Willard

My father passed away when I was 12, so it was very difficult. But I was always the class clown. I don't know why - maybe as an escape. But then I was sent away to military prep school.

- Fred Willard

I think my wife saw a picture of the rock group Journey, and they're kind of aging, and the one guy had dyed blonde hair with black roots, and... my idea was to get a little earring, I wanted to have a dangling earring.

- Fred Willard

After working with Wayne Brady, Colin Mochrie, and Jonathan Mangum, I said, 'I am never going to talk about improv again.'

- Fred Willard

I just love everything that Disney and Pixar do. Not only do they do beautiful films, but they have great messages for kids.

- Fred Willard

People still quote my lines from 'Best in Show.'

- Fred Willard

Looking back, I was a very good kid, very studious and all. But I would always come out with a quip - and I was sent to the principal's office several times.

- Fred Willard

Someone I've always admired is Catherine O'Hara... I think she's one of the best actresses in the country, not only comedy. I just think she's just a step aside from everybody, she's just wonderful.

- Fred Willard

I was an only child.

- Fred Willard

I had just done a movie called 'How to Beat the High Cost of Living,' and it didn't get a good review. And the same people sent me the script for 'Airplane!' for the Robert Hays part. I read it, and there were a lot of plays on words, and I said, 'I don't like this kind of comedy.'

- Fred Willard

Suddenly you're like a pirate, you're 65 years old and you've got an earring.

- Fred Willard

There's different kinds of improv. There's Second City improv where you try to slowly build a nice sketch. There's stuff you do in college coffee houses where you just go joke, joke, joke. Bring another funny character with a funny hat on his head. Christopher Guest is more the line of trying to get a story out.

- Fred Willard

The 'Tim And Eric' experience was very strange.

- Fred Willard

If I like a movie, I see no reason not to go back for Parts 2, 3, 4, etc.

- Fred Willard

I have always been more relaxed around comedy.

- Fred Willard

Because I started my career in improv, performing with Second City and the Ace Trucking Company, I always enjoy being in situations where - as an actor - you have to think fast & be light on your feet.

- Fred Willard

Comedy is harder, because if there's no laughs, it's pretty bad. But drama, if there's no reaction, you can say, 'Well, it's not their cup of tea. Maybe it's too heavy for the audience.'

- Fred Willard

All America is familiar with the Yankee-Dodger-Giant trivia, but so many other teams had great moments.

- Fred Willard

There's this whole underground world of amateur television production.

- Fred Willard

I have great respect for the authorities.

- Fred Willard

It's more fun in a way to do ensemble scenes, where you know your background, you know the scene, but you can't prepare because someone else is going to say something that is going to lead you off.

- Fred Willard

I've been in a lot of shows, I will say that. Every once in a while, I'll look at a tape of something I've done, and I won't even remember having done it.

- Fred Willard

Comedy always came easier for me. But I would have loved to have been an action hero.

- Fred Willard

Bob Balaban is so perfect that the first movie I did with him, I couldn't talk to him because I was so intimidated by him.

- Fred Willard

It's such a pleasure to work in these movies, it's almost like it's not really happening.

- Fred Willard

To a New Yorker, a 1948 Indians World Series baseball signed by the whole team might be worth only $200 to $300, but to a Clevelander like myself, it might be, like, $1,000 to $2,000.

- Fred Willard

Comedy relieves you. A lot of times, we think we're the only people bothered by certain things. Then you hear a comic say, 'Don't you hate it when...' And it's, 'Oh, my God! Of course!'

- Fred Willard

If you're going to take a risk as a comic, make sure it's surrounded by other things that you're certain are funny.

- Fred Willard

When you think about accountants, who would want to be an accountant? But, what would we do without accountants? Whether it's soldiers or garbage men or doctors, everyone has the thing that they love.

- Fred Willard

When I started, there was a phase where I wanted to be a cowboy star. I didn't want to do deep, serious parts.

- Fred Willard

I'd love to have Burt Reynolds' career.

- Fred Willard

I'll talk your ear off if you recognize me.

- Fred Willard

I never think I'm old enough to play someone's dad, even though I have a daughter of my own and a grandson.

- Fred Willard

I am re-collecting the baseball cards my mom had thrown out when I went away to school. You know you are an adult when you can buy a whole set of baseball cards instead of two packs at a time.

- Fred Willard

I first became interested in 'great moments' when I read about the famous Feller-to-Boudreau pickoff play in the 1948 World series.

- Fred Willard

I'll go in a minute to see a sketch show.

- Fred Willard

With improv or a full length play - you know how you go to a theater, and after 10 minutes you say, 'Oh, I don't like this thing,' but you don't want to get up and leave? At a sketch show, it's always something new every few minutes.

- Fred Willard

That's always a funny thing, when people think they're known for every little thing they ever did, and they're really not.

- Fred Willard

Christopher Guest, he'll call and say, 'We're doing this movie, and I'd like you to play _' and he gives you the character, then I always like to enlarge on the character.

- Fred Willard

Let me say this: I have said, any time, if it's Martin Mull, I will say yes. If it's Christopher Guest, I will say yes.

- Fred Willard

I just look back, and I say, you know, Christopher Guest just raised my whole career to another level.

- Fred Willard

I love to draw, although I wish I was better at it.

- Fred Willard

I think everyone has a door in their brain that says, 'Do not exit here.' If you go past it, you'll find all the dumb thoughts in there, all the stupid things that shouldn't be said. I've probably gone there more than anyone should in a given lifetime.

- Fred Willard

I love San Francisco!

- Fred Willard

I've always wanted to be on a soap opera.

- Fred Willard

In most cities, it doesn't cost much to put your own show on a local access channel, so you get all sorts of strange stuff on the air.

- Fred Willard

I guess if you're a professional mascot, you're doing it for the money, but a college mascot just wants to be out there.

- Fred Willard

I guess the essence of my comedy is to get into a very abnormal situation but act like it's normal.

- Fred Willard

I never got any advice in acting.

- Fred Willard

If you're not doing something right, you can feel it on stage, and if it isn't going well, the audience will tell you. A teacher can teach you sense memory and this and that, but until you get in front of an audience, you don't really feel it.

- Fred Willard