Doug Larson Quotes

Utility is when you have one telephone, luxury is when you have two, opulence is when you have three - and paradise is when you have none.

- Doug Larson

Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog.

- Doug Larson

The only nice thing about being imperfect is the joy it brings to others.

- Doug Larson

The world is full of people looking for spectacular happiness while they snub contentment.

- Doug Larson

A weed is a plant that has mastered every survival skill except for learning how to grow in rows.

- Doug Larson

Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks.

- Doug Larson

There must be a happy medium somewhere between being totally informed and blissfully unaware.

- Doug Larson

Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon.

- Doug Larson

The surprising thing about young fools is how many survive to become old fools.

- Doug Larson

Few things are more satisfying than seeing your children have teenagers of their own.

- Doug Larson

There are few things more satisfying than seeing your children have teenagers of their own.

- Doug Larson

Establishing goals is all right if you don't let them deprive you of interesting detours.

- Doug Larson

If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing poles.

- Doug Larson

Spring is when you feel like whistling even with a shoe full of slush.

- Doug Larson

Accomplishing the impossible means only that the boss will add it to your regular duties.

- Doug Larson

Some of the world's greatest feats were accomplished by people not smart enough to know they were impossible.

- Doug Larson

Real elation is when you feel you could touch a star without standing on tiptoe.

- Doug Larson

The trouble with learning from experience is that you never graduate.

- Doug Larson

The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball.

- Doug Larson

Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you'd have preferred to talk.

- Doug Larson

If the English language made any sense, lackadaisical would have something to do with a shortage of flowers.

- Doug Larson

Sometimes opportunity knocks, but most of the time it sneaks up and then quietly steals away.

- Doug Larson

The cat could very well be man's best friend but would never stoop to admitting it.

- Doug Larson

Nostalgia is a file that removes the rough edges from the good old days.

- Doug Larson

A lot of people mistake a short memory for a clear conscience.

- Doug Larson

Wisdom is the quality that keeps you from getting into situations where you need it.

- Doug Larson

A pun is the lowest form of humor, unless you thought of it yourself.

- Doug Larson

More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse.

- Doug Larson

If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would probably be Labor Day Weekend.

- Doug Larson

The reason people blame things on previous generations is that there's only one other choice.

- Doug Larson

For disappearing acts, it's hard to beat what happens to the eight hours supposedly left after eight of sleep and eight of work.

- Doug Larson

To err is human; to admit it, superhuman.

- Doug Larson

A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your success!

- Doug Larson