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Dick Gregory Quotes

Powerful Dick Gregory for Daily Growth

Let me tell you, never before in the history of this planet has anybody made the progress that African-Americans have made in a 30-year period, in spite of many black folks and white folks lying to one another.

- Dick Gregory

Planet, Before, Period, Spite

I waited at the counter of a white restaurant for eleven years. When they finally integrated, they didn't have what I wanted.

- Dick Gregory

Restaurant, White, Wanted, Integrated

You hear entertainers all the time, saying, 'If I couldn't get paid for this, I'd do it for free.' When's the last time you ever heard a business person say, 'If I couldn't get paid for being chairman of British Petroleum, I'd do it for free'?

- Dick Gregory

Get, British, Last Time, Entertainers

If you take 12 waters from the coconut - not the ones you buy in the store, although that's good - but the fresh coconuts, the little brown ones with the three eyes, if you take 12 of those within 24 hours, your blood will go back to the way it was when you were born.

- Dick Gregory

Back, Buy, Your, Brown

You know why Madison Avenue advertising has never done well in Harlem? We're the only ones who know what it means to be Brand X.

- Dick Gregory

Why, Means, Madison, Madison Avenue

We used to root for the Indians against the cavalry, because we didn't think it was fair in the history books that when the cavalry won it was a great victory, and when the Indians won it was a massacre.

- Dick Gregory

History, Think, Against, Massacre

Political promises are much like marriage vows. They are made at the beginning of the relationship between candidate and voter, but are quickly forgotten.

- Dick Gregory

Beginning, Like, Vows, Forgotten

Now here's what I'm saying: I've always believed that every other month we hear about compromisation of bank records, I think that's the CIA and the FBI. Now let me tell you why I'm saying this. I don't believe no insignificant pip-squeak is going to be able to pull this off month after month and we can't find out what's going on.

- Dick Gregory

Here, Other, I Think, FBI

I am really enjoying the new Martin Luther King Jr stamp - just think about all those white bigots, licking the backside of a black man.

- Dick Gregory

Martin Luther, Backside, Luther

I'm not a comic. I'm a humorist.

- Dick Gregory

Comic, Humorist

My mother was the sweetest lady who ever lived on this planet, but if you tried to tell her that Jesus wasn't a Christian, she would stomp you to death.

- Dick Gregory

Death, Tell, Planet, Stomp

Love is very dangerous if you just have love and don't have the ability to be lovable.

- Dick Gregory

Love, Dangerous, Very, Love Is

I went to Ethiopia, and it dawned on me that you can tell a starving, malnourished person because they've got a bloated belly and a bald head. And I realized that if you come through any American airport and see businessmen running through with bloated bellies and bald heads, that's malnutrition, too.

- Dick Gregory

Through, Dawned, Belly, Businessmen

When I was a boy, I was taught never to use insulting expressions like, 'I've been gypped,' or, 'He welshed on the deal.'

- Dick Gregory

Deal, Like, Been, Expressions

Once I realised the value of making people laugh, I got very good at it. Fast.

- Dick Gregory

Making, Very, Realised, Laugh

If it wasn't for Abe Lincoln, I'd still be on the open market.

- Dick Gregory

Market, Still, Lincoln, Abe

People with high blood pressure, diabetes - those are conditions brought about by life style. If you change the life style, those conditions will leave.

- Dick Gregory

Change, Will, Brought, Diabetes

It was an unwritten law that black comics were not permitted to work white nightclubs. You could sing and you could dance, but you couldn't stand flat-footed and talk; that was a no-no.

- Dick Gregory

Work, Law, Could, Permitted

And we love to dance, especially that new one called the Civil War Twist. The Northern part of you stands still while the Southern part tries to secede.

- Dick Gregory

Love, New, Southern, Twist

We thought I was going to be a great athlete, and we were wrong, and I thought I was going to be a great entertainer, and that wasn't it either. I'm going to be an American Citizen. First class.

- Dick Gregory

Thought, Citizen, Going, First Class

When I first broke through, there was only NBC, CBS and ABC, and they had news in the morning and in the evening - there wasn't no 24-hour news.

- Dick Gregory

News, Through, Broke, CBS

I used to get letters saying, 'I didn't know black children and white children were the same.'

- Dick Gregory

Children, White, Same, Letters

I never thought I'd see the day that I would see white folks as frightened, or more so, than black folks was during the civil rights movement when we was in Mississippi.

- Dick Gregory

Thought, Black, More, Frightened

I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark.

- Dick Gregory

Santa, Come, Knew, Neighborhood

Coconut milk is the only thing on this planet that comes identically to mother's milk.

- Dick Gregory

Mother, Milk, Planet, Coconut

There is a limit on how much information you can keep bottled up.

- Dick Gregory

How, Keep, How Much, Bottled

If they took all the drugs, nicotine, alcohol and caffeine off the market for six days, they'd have to bring out the tanks to control you.

- Dick Gregory

Alcohol, Six, Took, Six Days

Riches do not delight us so much with their possession, as torment us with their loss.

- Dick Gregory

Loss, Riches, Torment, Delight

I tell people, 'If you want to send a message to the White House, call my house.'

- Dick Gregory

Want, Message, Tell, Send

When I lost my rifle, the Army charged me 85 dollars. That is why in the Navy the Captain goes down with the ship.

- Dick Gregory

Navy, Why, Goes, Charged

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