David Letterman Quotes

Powerful David Letterman for Daily Growth

About David Letterman

David Michael Letterman (born April 12, 1947) is an esteemed American comedian, television host, and writer known for his distinctive wit and talk show format innovations. Born in Indianapolis, Indiana, Letterman developed a love for broadcasting at a young age, building his own radio station from scrap materials. After graduating from Ball State University with a degree in telecommunications and journalism, he began his career in broadcasting as a weatherman on an NBC affiliate. In 1975, he moved to Los Angeles, where he worked as a writer for various comedy shows before making his debut on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson in 1980. In 1982, Letterman launched his own late-night talk show, Late Night with David Letterman, on NBC. Known for its irreverent and unconventional style, the show gained a dedicated fanbase. In 1993, he moved to CBS and took over The Late Show, where he remained until his retirement in 2015. Throughout his career, Letterman has been influenced by comedians such as Steve Allen, Jack Paar, and Johnny Carson, but also by non-traditional sources like Carl Sagan and Jerry Maren (the last surviving munchkin from The Wizard of Oz). He is known for his Top 10 lists, Stupid Pet Tricks, and late-night field segments like "Latema" and "Village Idiot." Apart from television, Letterman has ventured into film production, co-founding Worldwide Pants Incorporated. He also founded the non-profit organization, The David Foundation, which supports organizations that promote the arts, education, and community development. Post-retirement, Letterman has guest hosted on various shows, including The Late Late Show with James Corden, and in 2018, he launched a Netflix series, My Next Guest Needs No Introduction with David Letterman. Despite stepping away from daily television, his influence on late-night talk shows remains significant.

Interpretations of Popular Quotes

"I'll never make fun of a man because he wears a uniform and I don't."

David Letterman's quote, "I'll never make fun of a man because he wears a uniform and I don't," is a statement about respect for those who serve in uniformed professions. It implies that the responsibilities and challenges these individuals face are beyond his own experiences, and thus, they should be treated with admiration rather than mockery. This quote highlights the importance of acknowledging the sacrifices made by people in uniformed services such as military, police, firefighters, etc., and treating them with due respect and gratitude.


"If it's not on tape, it didn't happen."

This quote by David Letterman emphasizes the importance of documentation or evidence in verifying events or occurrences. It suggests that without some form of record, an event may be considered as unverified or uncertain, thereby questioning its validity or truthfulness. In essence, it underscores the value of tangible proof when establishing facts and memories.


"God gave me the ability to do this, but also gave me the curiosity to want to do something else."

This quote expresses a sense of purpose, passion, and personal growth in the words of comedian David Letterman. He acknowledges that he has been blessed with unique talents (the ability to do what he does) by some greater power (God). However, he also has an inherent curiosity that drives him to explore new possibilities (wanting to do something else). This quote suggests a person who is both content with their achievements but also eager to learn and experience more in life.


"I've never gone in for the easy joke. If there's a hard joke, I go for that one."

David Letterman's quote signifies his preference for challenging himself creatively, opting for difficult or unconventional humor over the easy route. This choice showcases his commitment to originality, innovation, and a unique comedic style that sets him apart from others in his field.


"There's no point making a film if people leave it thinking, 'Well, I know what I'm doing tomorrow.'"

This quote by David Letterman suggests that effective storytelling or filmmaking should not provide an audience with solutions for their real-life problems. Instead, the purpose of a good movie is to provoke thought, inspire emotions, or challenge perceptions, rather than leaving viewers with a clear plan for action the next day. In other words, it's about experiencing something engaging and meaningful, as opposed to serving as a guide or instruction manual for everyday life.


Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines.

- David Letterman

New York, New, Rough, Signals

We inadvertently bombed the Chinese Embassy. But Clinton now is working very hard. He has sent a letter of apology to the Chinese. And, he's also given them a gift certificate for future nuclear secrets.

- David Letterman

Gift, Very, Given, Chinese

Next in importance to having a good aim is to recognize when to pull the trigger.

- David Letterman

Next, Pull, Having, Trigger

It's official, Arnold said he will enter the race for governor. At least that's what everybody thinks he said.

- David Letterman

Will, Race, Everybody, Arnold

Congratulations are in order for Woody Allen - he and Soon Yi have a brand new baby daughter. It's all part of Woody's plan to grow his own wives.

- David Letterman

Grow, New, Allen, New Baby

I cannot sing, dance or act; what else would I be but a talk show host.

- David Letterman

Funny, Act, Talk Show Host, Talk Show

Last night the United States dropped four 2,000 pound bombs on Saddam Hussein. I don't know anything about explosives, but, my God, do those things even need to explode?

- David Letterman

United, Hussein, Dropped, Saddam

No one knows if Saddam is still alive. They keep showing old footage of him on TV saying that it's live. You know, it's like the same thing we do with Dick Cheney.

- David Letterman

Alive, Still, TV, Saddam

I know these jokes aren't great, ladies and gentlemen, see this is the problem you run into when you're between impeachments.

- David Letterman

Great, Run, See, Ladies

People say New Yorkers can't get along. Not true. I saw two New Yorkers, complete strangers, sharing a cab. One guy took the tires and the radio; the other guy took the engine.

- David Letterman

New, Other, Took, Engine

The worst tempered people I have ever met were those who knew that they were wrong.

- David Letterman

Knew, Ever, Were, Tempered

I have found that the only thing that does bring you happiness is doing something good for somebody who is incapable of doing it for themselves.

- David Letterman

Doing, Bring, The Only Thing, Incapable

Dick Cheney said he was running again. He said his health was fine, 'I've got a doctor with me 24 hours a day.' Yeah, that's always the sign of a man in good health, isn't it?

- David Letterman

Sign, Dick Cheney, Yeah, Cheney

The weather here is gorgeous. It's mild and feels like it's in the eighties. The hot dog vendors got confused because of the weather and thought it was spring, so they accidentally changed the hot dog water in their carts.

- David Letterman

Thought, Here, Feels, Accidentally

Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change color and fall from the trees.

- David Letterman

Change, Color, Angeles, Season

There's not a man, woman or child on the face of the earth who doesn't enjoy a tasty beverage.

- David Letterman

Woman, Face, Earth, Beverage

Wherever we've travelled in this great land of ours, we've found that people everywhere are about 90% water.

- David Letterman

Great, People, About, Travelled

There's no business like show business, but there are several businesses like accounting.

- David Letterman

Business, Like, Show, Businesses

USA Today has come out with a new survey - apparently, three out of every four people make up 75% of the population.

- David Letterman

New, Come, USA, Survey

President Bush says he needs a month off to unwind. Unwind? When the hell does this guy wind?

- David Letterman

Guy, Needs, Bush, Wind

Yesterday Senator John Kerry changed his mind and now supports the ban on gay marriages. I'm telling you this guy has more positions than Paris Hilton.

- David Letterman

Mind, More, Telling, None

We make a lot of fun at President Clinton's expense. But this transition is going to be tough because it's been 25 years since this guy has gotten laid in the private sector.

- David Letterman

Been, Private, Laid, Transition

Experts say that Iraq may have nuclear weapons. That's bad news - they may have a nuclear bomb. Now the good news is that they have to drop it with a camel.

- David Letterman

News, Drop, May, Weapons

The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know, some of these jokes just write themselves.

- David Letterman

Some, George W. Bush, Bush, Jokes

As you know now, Rush Limbaugh is the new face of the Republican Party, but they'll probably go with a different body.

- David Letterman

New, Go, Republican Party, Party

There's only one requirement of any of us, and that is to be courageous. Because courage, as you might know, defines all other human behavior. And, I believe - because I've done a little of this myself - pretending to be courageous is just as good as the real thing.

- David Letterman

Believe, Pretending, Other, I Believe

There is no off position on the genius switch.

- David Letterman

Genius, Position, Off, Switch

New York... when civilization falls apart, remember, we were way ahead of you.

- David Letterman

Remember, New, Falls, Apart

Here's a little known fact - Arnold is the first body builder to run for governor since Janet Reno.

- David Letterman

Fact, Here, Reno, Builder

Don't forget it's daylight savings time. You spring forward, then you fall back. It's like Robert Downey Jr. getting out of bed.

- David Letterman

Forward, Bed, Like, Savings

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