When I was a kid, I really loved Indians. Native Americans. Pardon. Me.
- Dave Attell
Loved, Kid, Native, Native Americans
A lot of these kids I think are more content just to be on Facebook and the computer than they are to actually go out. They just really want to get a picture to post to their buddies, and that's about it.
- Dave Attell
Content, I Think, About, Buddies
I'm a joke comic. I tell jokes. I like writing a joke, and I like when a joke works, and I like other comics who tell jokes.
- Dave Attell
Other, Like, Works, Jokes
I keep getting these people at my shows who only know me from television. I can always tell when they're, like, emotionally flinching when I start doing my jokes.
- Dave Attell
Doing, Always, Like, Jokes
I like writing a joke, and I like when a joke works, and I like other comics who tell jokes.
- Dave Attell
Other, Like, Works, Jokes
I have soundtracks for a lot of stuff.
- Dave Attell
Stuff, Lot, Soundtracks
What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish. You know what you should do? Combine them, eat a penguin.
- Dave Attell
Diet, Chicken, Tell, Combine
I don't mind a crowd's not laughing; it's the groans that slow down the show.
- Dave Attell
Mind, Slow, Crowd, Laughing
You know, men and women are a lot alike in certain situations. Like when they're both on fire - they're exactly alike.
- Dave Attell
Men And Women, Like, Exactly, Women Are
I'm a stand-up comic. Anything else I do besides that is a plus, but stand-up comedy is what I do, it's what I've been doing and it's what I'm going to keep doing.
- Dave Attell
Doing, Been, Stand-Up Comedy, Besides
For a long time the people at my shows were sort of the Pantera-tattoo trucker guys, really cool dudes, but I don't know what happened to them. That's the crowd that I like, the ones that don't get so offended just to be offended.
- Dave Attell
Long, Offended, Crowd, Dudes
My day jobs... I knew I was bad at those, so I didn't really have the confidence to think that I could do comedy. But I knew I hated the day jobs.
- Dave Attell
Think, Bad, Could, Hated
Sometimes it's hard to tell if a joke is working or not for the first couple of minutes.
- Dave Attell
Sometimes, Minutes, Couple, Joke
I'm not a movie guy, I'm not a TV sitcom guy, but whatever seems to fit and is funny is good for me.
- Dave Attell
Movie, Fit, TV, Sitcom
Yeah, I know, some people are against drunk driving, and I call those people 'the cops.' But you know, sometimes, you've just got no choice; those kids gotta get to school!
- Dave Attell
Some, Against, Cops, Some People
I have an imagination because my life is so boring that my imagination lets me get off the reality of what's going on.
- Dave Attell
Imagination, My Life, Going, Lets
I feel like soundtrack music is almost like seeing the movie again, but with my ears.
- Dave Attell
Movie, Like, Soundtrack, Ears
I have no grand scheme.
- Dave Attell
Scheme, Grand
I get recognized, but I'm not really a famous famous.
- Dave Attell
Famous, Get, Really, Recognized
Being on the road is kind of lonely.
- Dave Attell
Road, Kind, Being, Lonely
I like doing stand-up and I love putting out TV specials.
- Dave Attell
Love, Doing, TV, Stand-Up
Once you get offstage you're just like everyone else, and everyone else can get into a fight.
- Dave Attell
Everyone, Like, Once, Everyone Else
I'm not like a performer type.
- Dave Attell
Like, Type, Performer
I don't watch reality TV. I'm cool.
- Dave Attell
Cool, Watch, TV, Reality TV
I don't watch reality TV.
- Dave Attell
Reality, Watch, TV, Reality TV
I don't think I'm a star or a celebrity or any thing like that.
- Dave Attell
Think, Star, Like, Celebrity
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