Craig Kilborn Quotes

Powerful Craig Kilborn for Daily Growth

About Craig Kilborn

Craig Kilborn, born on September 24, 1962, in Davenport, Iowa, is an American television host, comedian, and writer known for his wit, satire, and deadpan delivery. His career in comedy and broadcast journalism spans over three decades, making him a significant figure in both fields. Raised in North Liberty, Iowa, Kilborn's interest in comedy was sparked at an early age by watching late-night talk shows like Johnny Carson's Tonight Show. He pursued his passion for humor while studying Journalism and Political Science at the University of Missouri. After graduating, he began his career in journalism as a sports reporter for KFAB radio in Omaha, Nebraska. In 1993, Kilborn transitioned to television news, joining ESPN's SportsCenter as a sports anchor. His unique blend of humor and news reporting quickly gained popularity. In 1996, he was recruited by Jon Stewart for The Daily Show on Comedy Central, where he served as the show's first host until 1998. Known for his satirical take on news, Kilborn's tenure at The Daily Show is considered instrumental in shaping the modern satirical news format. After leaving The Daily Show, Kilborn launched The Late Late Show with Craig Kilborn on CBS in 1999. He continued to host the show until 2004, when he was replaced by current host Craig Ferguson. Post-Late Late Show, Kilborn has hosted several other shows and made numerous appearances as a guest star on various comedy series. Today, Kilborn continues to work in television, often lending his voice for animated projects or appearing as a guest on podcasts and talk shows. His unique style of humor and ability to blend satire with news have left an indelible mark on both journalism and comedy.

Interpretations of Popular Quotes

"The good news is that if you vote for me, I promise not to lie to you."

This quote by Craig Kilborn satirically highlights the cynical state of political trust, where even a simple promise like "not to lie" can be seen as a positive attribute. It implies that politicians have historically been known for dishonesty, and the fact that someone is running on a platform of honesty is considered surprising or remarkable. This quote serves as a commentary on political cynicism, where voters may expect deception from their leaders.


"I'm not saying I'm the fastest man in the world, but when I was a kid I could catch up to a slug before it got to the leaf."

Craig Kilborn is suggesting that he was not particularly fast as a child, but his speed was relative; he could catch up to a snail or slow-moving creature like a slug before it reached its destination. It's a humorous way of expressing the idea that while he might not have been the fastest among humans, he had no trouble catching slower creatures in a race.


"Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of the Berlin Wall was his woman."

This quote by Craig Kilborn humorously suggests that behind significant achievements or events, there's often a strong female figure providing support, guidance, and influence. In this case, the fall of the Berlin Wall is used as an example to illustrate that even historical milestones might have women playing key roles, though they may not always receive due recognition for their contributions. The quote underscores the importance of acknowledging the impactful roles women play in shaping our world.


"I've always wondered why the 'Y' in 'why' is silent. It should be pronounced 'wh-eye'. That way we could all see it coming."

This quote humorously points out an apparent inconsistency in English spelling, where the letter combination "why" is not pronounced as one might expect from its written form. The speaker suggests that if "why" were pronounced as "wh-eye", it would be more intuitive for people to understand how it should be read, thus making it easier to comprehend and anticipate the question being asked. This is a common theme in discussions about English spelling, which often doesn't follow logical or consistent rules when it comes to pronunciation.


"The future ain't what it used to be."

This quote by Craig Kilborn suggests that our perceptions or expectations about the future are constantly changing, evolving, or becoming different from what they were in the past. The statement serves as a reminder that we should adapt and adjust our plans accordingly because the future is not set in stone but subject to new developments, advancements, and unforeseen events.


I used to make fun of young people when I was 17 - the angst, the insecurities, all those tattoos.

- Craig Kilborn

People, Young, Used, Angst

The big political news, Arnold Schwarzenegger announced he's running for governor of California, and already, people are chanting, 'Four more vowels, four more vowels.'

- Craig Kilborn

News, Big, Vowels, Arnold

As fighting in Iraq intensifies, President Bush delivered his supplemental war budget to Congress. The money will cover 30 days of fighting, then we'll be sent one war every other month until we cancel our subscription.

- Craig Kilborn

Other, Congress, Cancel, Subscription

My brother asked me once, 'Are you a misanthrope?' And I said, 'No, I just find people irritating.'

- Craig Kilborn

People, Once, Asked, Irritating

I think mankind is overly sensitive, very needy, greedy, and flawed.

- Craig Kilborn

Think, I Think, Very, Overly

President Bush spent last night calling world leaders to support the war with Iraq and it is sad when the most powerful man on earth is yelling, 'I know you're there, pick up, pick up.

- Craig Kilborn

Leaders, Yelling, Bush, Last Night

I have a wonderful respect for old people.

- Craig Kilborn

People, Wonderful, Old, Old People

New rumors that Saddam Hussein is planning to flee to a castle in Libya with 10 billion dollars. Now President Bush doesn't know whether to nuke him or give him a tax cut.

- Craig Kilborn

Castle, Cut, Hussein, Billion Dollars

It's fun being creative and that's satisfying.

- Craig Kilborn

Fun, Creative, Being, Satisfying

In Massachusetts, scientists have created the first human clone. The bad thing is that in thirty years, the clone will still be depressed because the Boston Red Sox will still have not won a World Series.

- Craig Kilborn

Boston, Red Sox, Still, Massachusetts

I enjoyed retirement the right way... linguine con vongole, red wine and plenty of truffle cheese.

- Craig Kilborn

Con, Red Wine, Plenty, Right Way

People here in Los Angeles are disgusted now about a sex scandal involving Arnold Schwarzenegger. Apparently for seven years, he carried on a sexual relationship with his own wife.

- Craig Kilborn

Own, Here, About, Disgusted

CBS was very generous in their offer to re-sign me. But I simply want to try something new.

- Craig Kilborn

New, Want, Very, CBS

A telephone survey says that 51 percent of college students drink until they pass out at least once a month. The other 49 percent didn't answer the phone.

- Craig Kilborn

College, Other, Pass, Survey

Democrats were quick to point out that President Bush's budget creates a 1 trillion dollar deficit. The White House quickly responded with 'Hey, look over there, it's Saddam Hussein.'

- Craig Kilborn

Quick, Hussein, Bush, Hey

I lived in a studio apartment until my mid-30s. I don't have an extravagant lifestyle.

- Craig Kilborn

Lived, Studio, Until, Extravagant

I learned at an early age that using the third person will push some buttons.

- Craig Kilborn

Some, Buttons, Using, Push

Senator Hillary Clinton is attacking President Bush for breaking his campaign promise to cut carbon dioxide emissions, saying a promise made, a promise broken. And then out of habit, she demanded that Bush spend the night on the couch.

- Craig Kilborn

Couch, Cut, Bush, President Bush

I'm from the Midwest.

- Craig Kilborn

Midwest

John Kerry was officially endorsed by Dick Gephardt, and Kerry said, 'What did I ever do to you?'

- Craig Kilborn

Ever, John Kerry, John, Officially

I don't do well around the angry, bitter and emotionally fragile among us, which may eliminate 70% of the population.

- Craig Kilborn

May, Eliminate, Which, Population

I'm going to miss my best friends - my cameras.

- Craig Kilborn

Best, Friends, Going, Cameras

I thought late-night was crowded... the format's repetitive.

- Craig Kilborn

Thought, Late-Night, Format, Repetitive

I don't complain.

- Craig Kilborn

Complain

They're saying Arnold will get 95% of the vote. At least according to his brother, Jeb Schwarzenegger.

- Craig Kilborn

Will, Least, According, Arnold

The places I've worked in the past, I always stayed three years and moved on.

- Craig Kilborn

Places, Always, In The Past, Moved On

Broadcasting was something, I don't want to say it came easy, but it's something I'm comfortable doing.

- Craig Kilborn

Doing, Comfortable, Want, Came

Did you see the statue topple? Bill Clinton got nostalgic seeing something that big in a beret go down.

- Craig Kilborn

Big, Bill Clinton, Nostalgic, Bill

Comedy doesn't always have to come from a dark place.

- Craig Kilborn

Comedy, Dark, Always, Dark Place

I think that you're always going to have some people who are negative or view you in a certain way.

- Craig Kilborn

Think, Some, Always, Negative

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