Bruce Vilanch Quotes

Powerful Bruce Vilanch for Daily Growth

About Bruce Vilanch

Bruce Vilanch, born on June 4, 1948, in New York City, is an acclaimed American comedian, actor, screenwriter, and author. Known for his wit, humor, and versatility, he has left a significant mark on the entertainment industry spanning over four decades. Growing up in the Bronx, Vilanch developed a passion for theater and performance at an early age. He attended Ithaca College and later graduated from the American Academy of Dramatic Arts in New York City. His breakthrough came in the 1980s when he began writing for popular comedy shows such as "The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson" and "Saturday Night Live." Vilanch gained wider recognition for his work on the Emmy-winning TV Land series, "Bruce Vilanch's Hollywood Dreamzone," where he interviewed famous celebrities in a humorous and fantastical setting. His talent as a writer led him to contribute to numerous film projects, including "The Muppets Take Manhattan," "Hairspray," and the Academy Awards telecast from 1994 to 2018, where he was responsible for writing the jokes for the presenters. In addition to his television and film work, Vilanch authored several books, including "Bruce Vilanch's The Gospel According to Vitamin Q: Spirituality, Theology, and Cure-Alls for Everyday Life" and "Shows About Nothing: The Complete, Uncensored, Unauthorized Oral History of Saturday Night Live." Vilanch's work is characterized by his unique blend of humor, social commentary, and pop culture references. He continues to be a beloved figure in the entertainment industry, known for his quick wit, sharp intellect, and ability to bring laughter to audiences worldwide.

Interpretations of Popular Quotes

"The secret to life is to be totally lazy and do it when they say you're not supposed to do it."

This quote suggests a playful perspective on productivity, encouraging people to find their own rhythm and approach tasks unconventionally. It implies that sometimes the best work or achievements come outside of traditional expectations or constraints, such as when one is "supposed" to be resting or idle. In essence, it promotes the idea of breaking free from rigid schedules and societal norms to unlock creativity and find success in unexpected ways.


"I am such a material girl, I want a BMW drive until I'm old."

This quote by Bruce Vilanch is an expression of a desire for material wealth, specifically a luxury car (BMW) that provides comfort and status, to last throughout one's lifetime. It implies a focus on accumulating tangible possessions as a means of personal fulfillment or happiness.


"Life is what happens while you're making other plans."

This quote by Bruce Vilanch underscores the unpredictable nature of life, suggesting that even with our well-laid plans, unexpected events or opportunities may arise, which can significantly shape our experiences. Essentially, it reminds us to be open and adaptable, as life often presents us with moments we never could have anticipated when making initial plans.


"Comedy is just agony with grace and a smile."

The quote by Bruce Vilanch, "Comedy is just agony with grace and a smile," suggests that humor often arises from painful or difficult experiences, emotions, or situations. However, it's the way comedians present these feelings - with grace (skills, technique, and poise) and a smile (optimism and resilience) - that makes their work funny and engaging for audiences. In other words, comedy is the transformation of personal suffering or distress into an entertaining and relatable form of art.


"Success is when you can live by your own rules."

This quote by Bruce Vilanch suggests that true success lies in living autonomously, according to one's personal values, principles, and passions. It implies that when individuals have the freedom to make choices guided by their unique identity, they are experiencing a fulfilling and successful life. The essence of this quote is about self-determination, autonomy, and authenticity.


I write screenplays that don't get made and pilots that don't get picked up, and I re-write other people's movies, and those are all different kinds of fees.

- Bruce Vilanch

Other, Fees, Pilots, Screenplays

I've written about 15 screenplays and they all sold - they were all sold on pitches.

- Bruce Vilanch

About, Sold, Were, Screenplays

They make a humongous profit, but the people that work on the shows don't get paid a lot because they're working on the Oscars show. It's the biggest show in the world.

- Bruce Vilanch

Work, People, Show, Profit

As I'm always fond of telling hosts at the Oscars who are doing it for their first time, for everybody who wins, there are four people who don't. As the evening wears on, the room fills up with losers, and then they are bitter.

- Bruce Vilanch

Doing, Everybody, Telling, Fills

I think I intimidate hecklers because I weigh more than most of them.

- Bruce Vilanch

Think, Most, Weigh, Intimidate

I have one rave 'New York Times' review framed next to a flop 'Los Angeles Times' review. And it's for the same show. These people watched the same show. That's what happens. They love it, they hate it.

- Bruce Vilanch

Love, Next, Show, Flop

My skirt fell off on stage during a performance of Hairspray on Broadway, revealing my fat suit over my own natural fat suit. I turned to the audience and said, 'Now you know why I spent six years in a square.'

- Bruce Vilanch

Own, Broadway, Turned, Skirt

I mean, I've sold all these scripts and nothing's been made. Studios have closed, stars have died. I had a director find Jesus. And the pictures just don't get made.

- Bruce Vilanch

Been, Studios, Sold, Scripts

When AIDS hit, lots of people banded together to take care of each other and do what the government wasn't doing. When you grow up Jewish, as I have, you learn that everybody hates you, no one's going to help you, and you have to take care of yourself. That's a great maxim to the gay community, and we took it to heart; we took care of our own.

- Bruce Vilanch

Doing, Other, Everybody, Gay Community

I've learned that most of gay America is coupled up, or looking to be. No wonder gay marriage has such traction. So many of us are already in it, so of course we want the legal benefits.

- Bruce Vilanch

Benefits, No Wonder, Learned, Gay Marriage

My assistant says I'm an eBay auction waiting to happen. I have a very large collection of T-shirts... about 4,000 now. Maybe I'll pillage it someday. I have resisted the offers to do a line of T-shirts.

- Bruce Vilanch

Happen, Very, Offers, Resisted

The Oscars are about the dynamics of that moment, of that season. It reflects what's been going on in the world every year through the movies. And a lot of times, what's popular at the movies is popular because of what's going on in the world at that moment.

- Bruce Vilanch

Through, Going, Been, Season

It's really live television, the way God meant it to be.

- Bruce Vilanch

God, Television, Meant, Live Television

For years, I was compared to Wookiees, especially after I did the 'Star Wars Holiday Special.' I have some photos of me with a few of the Wookiees on the set, and it's hard to tell us apart.

- Bruce Vilanch

Star, Some, Set, Apart

Musicals have clearly gotten more physical. You never saw Ethel Merman doing step aerobics.

- Bruce Vilanch

Doing, More, Gotten, Musicals

I mean, when I started out I was billing per hour, like a shrink because you would sit with somebody and work. But most of it, if it's for a live show it's usually a buy-out. A flat fee.

- Bruce Vilanch

Out, Show, Fee, Per

What makes me laugh? Richard Nixon always made me laugh.

- Bruce Vilanch

Always, Richard, Nixon, None

Generally with the Oscars or the Emmys there isn't much you can do until the nominations are announced. Then you know what kind of year you're dealing with - what's been overlooked, what the issues are.

- Bruce Vilanch

Year, Dealing, Been, Announced

Every single line on the Oscar show is negotiated. Unless you've been there, you have no idea how it is put together. It's like nothing else on earth. I'm writing a book about it, but I have to throw in my sexual escapades to make sure it sells.

- Bruce Vilanch

Line, Idea, Been, Sexual

It's the biggest party in the world, and you have to keep the whole thing percolating, which is difficult because a lot of awards most people don't care about.

- Bruce Vilanch

Difficult, About, Which, Awards

Who knew we had all this O.C.D. in the world? Well actually, I suppose it's pretty obvious. It explains Sudoku, doesn't it?

- Bruce Vilanch

Pretty, Knew, Had, Suppose

Eddie Izzard is absolutely brilliant. I would love to write something for him.

- Bruce Vilanch

Love, Brilliant, Would, Eddie

I've got more chins than a San Francisco phonebook.

- Bruce Vilanch

San Francisco, Francisco, San

I do a lot of screen re-writing.

- Bruce Vilanch

Lot, Screen

Of course I adored and wanted to be Catwoman. That goes without saying.

- Bruce Vilanch

Goes, Course, Wanted, Adored

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