I write my own quotes. Except this one. I obviously stole this from somebody really clever.
- Brian Celio
Own, I Write, Obviously, My Own
I wonder: when a Jehovah's Witness dies and goes to Heaven, does God hide behind the door and pretend He's not home?
- Brian Celio
Door, Behind, Jehovah, I Wonder
Just because you're upfront with someone doesn't mean you're an honest person; you might just be someone in the passenger seat.
- Brian Celio
Might, Seat, Upfront, Passenger
Just because you're scarred for life doesn't mean you should be scared to live.
- Brian Celio
Just Because, Mean, Scarred, Scared
True friends: only a few have 'em, but only a few will admit that they don't.
- Brian Celio
True, Admit, Will, True Friends
Individuality or Unity? I say there's room for both.
- Brian Celio
Unity, Say, Room, Individuality
Dear disgruntled artists: the key to success isn't kicking down the door; it's building your own.
- Brian Celio
Door, Own, Your, Key To Success
Technology forced me to divorce a pixie and remarry a pixel.
- Brian Celio
Technology, Me, Forced, Divorce
Chuck Norris doesn't need to understand the work of James Joyce; James Joyce needs to understand the work of Chuck Norris.
- Brian Celio
Work, Need, Needs, Chuck
A government full of Democrats would rather have you be a Republican, and a government full of Republicans would rather have you be a Democrat, than have you oppose both.
- Brian Celio
Government, Democrat, Would, Oppose
Maybe the best way to get people to be pro-life is to start 'em off in amateur-life.
- Brian Celio
Get, Maybe, Best Way, Pro-Life
I imagine the life of an atheistic praying mantis to be rather torturous.
- Brian Celio
Life, Rather, Imagine, Praying
I watch what I eat every day. I mean, who actually eats with their eyes closed?
- Brian Celio
Eyes, Every Day, Actually, Closed
Love becomes logically true when lost but still sought from the same source.
- Brian Celio
Love, Same, Still, Logically
As much as it hurts, I would rather miss someone than hit someone.
- Brian Celio
Hit, Hurts, Would, Miss
What's love if not the thing you'll do anything and everything to get back once lost? What's hate if not the thing you'll do anything and everything to get rid of once found?
- Brian Celio
Love, Back, Rid
Some people put up a peace sign with one hand. Some people put up the middle finger instead. I use two hands and put up both.
- Brian Celio
Hands, Middle, Some, Finger
He has your finger, but I have your heart.
- Brian Celio
Heart, Your, He, Finger
Don't hate me 'cause I'm booed a fool!
- Brian Celio
Hate, Me, Cause, Fool
You might not be able to stomach it, but as long as you can mind it, your heart will be all right.
- Brian Celio
Mind, Will, Might, Stomach
I'll take a redrum with a rellik please.
- Brian Celio
Take, Please
Don't hate the word, playa; hate the dictionary.
- Brian Celio
Hate, Word, Dictionary
Comedy is only as stupid as you are smart.
- Brian Celio
Comedy, You, Only, Stupid
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