Bernie Mac Quotes

When I hit my 20s, I struggled to make it. I got married at 19, and my daughter, Je'Niece, was born a year later. I worked blue collar jobs during the day and comedy clubs at night, and I was earning about $25 a year doing stand-up.

- Bernie Mac

Doing, Year, Struggled, Year Later

There's no success story. Everybody's got a ghetto story. You always want to make it bigger than what it is.

- Bernie Mac

Bigger, Always, Everybody, Success Story

I'm looking for laughs, you know? If it take me to flip over a table, if I have to go physical comedy, I will do it. But whatever the joke needs at that particular time, is where I'm dedicated to. I'm not into beating somebody down and beating myself up. I don't do insults and things like that. I don't do it - I'm a storyteller.

- Bernie Mac

Me, Down, Laughs, Beating

I can't build myself by beating somebody down.

- Bernie Mac

Myself, Down, Build, Beating

I hate to let people down. I was like that in sports and I was like that in comedy. I was like that at work. When I worked General Motors and stuff like that, when I say something, I mean it.

- Bernie Mac

Sports, Comedy, Like, Motors

I don't ever watch myself. By watching, you try to perfect yourself, become a robot.

- Bernie Mac

Perfect, Watch, Ever, Robot

My family are police officers, detectives. My brother Mitch is FBI. Mitch is like that - a stern enforcer.

- Bernie Mac

Police Officers, Like, Stern, FBI

I want to speak directly to the audience, to say, 'I'm like you - I'm frustrated, I'm not an expert, I don't have a manual on parenting, I make mistakes, I'm selfish too.'

- Bernie Mac

Expert, Audience, Frustrated, Directly

I learned hard lessons in life; I had to because I had so much happen: My mother died my sophomore year in high school. The next year, same day, my brother dropped dead. Two years after that, I got married because my girlfriend got pregnant. The year after my wedding, my father - who I had only recently met - died.

- Bernie Mac

Year, Next, Next Year, Sophomore

I was in love with a lot of people, because I was a student of the game of comedy - Carol Burnett, Jack Benny, Red Skelton, Jackie Gleason, Don Rickles, Red Foxx, Moms Mabley - who gets no credit, Richard Pryor, Bill Cosby, George Kirby. I loved them all, and I used to just take a page out of all of them.

- Bernie Mac

Love, Game, Benny, Carol

My name is Bernard Jeffrey McCullough, but people know me as Bernie Mac. My mama, God rest her soul - she used to call me Beanie. Used to say, 'Don't you worry about Beanie. Beanie gonna be just fine. Beanie gonna surprise everyone.'

- Bernie Mac

Soul, About, Bernard, Mac

You know, every time it comes, every time that light comes on or every time that camera comes on, every time that microphone comes on, the Mac Man seek and destroy.

- Bernie Mac

Light, Destroy, Seek, Mac

Bernie Mac don't sugarcoat.

- Bernie Mac

Mac

That's the whole key to anything: Don't be afraid to fail. And Bernie Mac is not afraid to fail.

- Bernie Mac

Afraid, Fail, Whole, Mac

Bernie Mac is talented!

- Bernie Mac

Talented, Mac

Bernie Mac is happy.

- Bernie Mac

Happy, Mac

Bernie Mac is relentless. That's one thing I like about him. He's not PC. He doesn't care what you think. He's going out there to please that audience.

- Bernie Mac

Think, Audience, Like, Mac

Bernie Mac just says what you think but are afraid to say.

- Bernie Mac

Think, Say, Afraid, Mac

Why I was so intrigued with Red Skelton was because he was able to make you cry and laugh and the same time. That was power.

- Bernie Mac

Cry, Why, Same Time, Intrigued

I can act. I've been acting for a long time, but like anything else, don't nobody owe you nothing. You've go to pay your dues. You go from A to Z; you don't go from M to Z.

- Bernie Mac

Been, Your, Anything Else, Dues

You don't see me in Los Angeles a lot. I go back home. Because I can't play the game. I can't - my tolerance - I know I'm getting old; I'll be 50 this year. And you know how I know I'm getting old? 'Cause my tolerance level is low.

- Bernie Mac

Game, Play, Year, Tolerance

I want people to say at the end of my day, you know, like I used to say about Sidney Poitier and James Cagney and Joan Crawford and Red Skelton and those guys and Bill Cosby. They did quality and substance. You always remember them.

- Bernie Mac

About, Joan, James, Cosby

I don't need to pat myself on the back until my arm breaks. I don't need any of that.

- Bernie Mac

Need, Breaks, Pat, Arm

When I get a chance to play golf or go on a boat with good people, take the boat out and put some lobsters on the grill, get the ice-cold beer and the cigars - that's heaven here on earth.

- Bernie Mac

Play, Here, Some, Lobster

When you're offstage, that's the footprint. That's the man God's gonna judge.

- Bernie Mac

Man, Judge, Gonna, Footprint

The success of my comedy has been not being afraid to touch on subject matters or issues that everyone else is politically scared of.

- Bernie Mac

Comedy, Been, Everyone Else, Being Afraid

Every time you see a black romance, it's over-the-top. There always has to be extreme hostility between the sexes. He has to cheat. She has to show him how independently strong she is, not just as a woman but as a black woman.

- Bernie Mac

Strong, Always, Romance, Every Time

When I go onstage, I want to relieve your mind, your pressures.

- Bernie Mac

Mind, Want, Relieve, Pressures

I want to do something that people can really say, 'Hey, man, that was good, I'm proud of you, I'm proud of that.' 'Pride' and 'Transformers' and things like that.

- Bernie Mac

Proud, Like, Transformers, Hey

I was born October 5, 1957, on the South Side of Chicago, in the Woodlawn area, a neighborhood that hasn't changed much in forty-five years. Our house was on 66th and Blackstone, but the city tore it down when the rats took over.

- Bernie Mac

City, South, South Side, Neighborhood

I became the storyteller of South Side Chicago. I used an old Kiwi liquid shoe polish as a microphone. I'd go around the house interviewing everybody, telling stupid jokes, doing voices. I mimicked Sidney Poitier, Sammy Davis Jr., people on 'Laugh-In,' Flip Wilson.

- Bernie Mac

Stupid, Interviewing, Became, Shoe

People like rumors. They're going to say things like, 'You was at the club with Lil' Kim, and you and Kanye West got into a fist fight.' You can't get upset. You've got to keep hope alive.

- Bernie Mac

Alive, Upset, Like, None

I always wanted to scuba dive. I used to scuba dive undercover like black Aquaman.

- Bernie Mac

Always, Like, Wanted, Undercover

I've always been a reserved cat. When I play sports, there's people used to get mad at me because I didn't hang out and things like that. I've never been that kind of person. Nothing has changed in that regard. I've never been posse, and all that. I'm a quiet storm.

- Bernie Mac

Play, Been, Hang, Changed

My humor had changed from foolishness to making sense.

- Bernie Mac

Humor, Making, Foolishness, Changed

I'm not a star, and I don't want to be a star. Stars fall. I'm an ordinary guy with an extraordinary job.

- Bernie Mac

Fall, Star, Extraordinary, Ordinary Guy

I'm an ordinary guy with an extraordinary job.

- Bernie Mac

Extraordinary, Ordinary, Guy, Ordinary Guy

Black audiences are hard. They always think they're better than you. So you got to come with a little extra to satisfy them.

- Bernie Mac

Think, Always, Satisfy, Extra

I don't care about how I look; I'm dedicated to the laughs. You know, I used to be a clown, so - my name was Smoothie the Clown. All the training I had, all my training is geared toward making people laugh, and I didn't care about being cool.

- Bernie Mac

Training, About, Had, Laugh

If I can tell someone a story that makes them bend over and laugh, that's bigger than anything else.

- Bernie Mac

Bigger, Tell, Over, Laugh

You know you poor when you eatin' breakfast food late. You fryin' toast? At nine o'clock at night? With bacon? You're broke.

- Bernie Mac

Night, Broke, Nine, Toast

My girlfriend Rhonda, who's now my wife, I graduated from high school, she got pregnant. My grandfather said, 'You've got to do the right thing.'

- Bernie Mac

Wife, Right, Got, Graduated

Jerry Weintraub, the producer, might be a pain in the ass, but he really knows how to treat his actors.

- Bernie Mac

Pain, Treat, Might, Jerry

Fear is not one of my attributes.

- Bernie Mac

Fear, Attributes

My comedy comes from pain. I can't stand to see someone hurting.

- Bernie Mac

Pain, See, Someone, Hurting

I get facials. I get a manicure and pedicure every week. I get my hair cut, and I oil myself down from head to toe. I got that from my brother. I was so impressed with how high maintenance he was. When he left the room, you could still smell him for an hour.

- Bernie Mac

Week, Cut, Impressed, High Maintenance

When I started in the clubs, I had to work places where didn't nobody else want to work. I had to do clubs where street gangs were, had to do motorcycle gangs, gay balls and things of that nature.

- Bernie Mac

Work, Nature, Balls, Gay

I hate to compare anything, especially while I'm promoting. I feel that's another disrespect, but 'Ocean's 13' is the best movie I've ever done in my life. No question.

- Bernie Mac

My Life, Movie, Compare, Disrespect

As I got older, I got into all kinds of things in the streets - but for some reason, I never got caught up with the gangs growing up. Everybody dug me, man. I never had problems.

- Bernie Mac

Reason, Some, Caught, Problems

I came up in the community center. I used to be physical director of the South Central Community Center in Chicago on 83rd. It's still there. It used to be around there when I was a kid.

- Bernie Mac

Director, Still, South, Chicago

It was rough being dark. I got heat from my own people more than anyone else. I remember going to my mom and saying, 'Why am I so black?' And she said, 'Because I'm black. You just gotta always work harder than the average bear.'

- Bernie Mac

Heat, I Remember, Average, Harder

I've been in training for stardom.

- Bernie Mac

Training, Been, Stardom

I was good at keeping my mother from crying.

- Bernie Mac

Mother, Good, Keeping, Crying

The two sides of Bernie - that's a quiet weapon that I have.

- Bernie Mac

Quiet, Two, Weapon, Sides

Why do people love Richard Pryor so much? 'Cause he had problems.

- Bernie Mac

Love, Richard, Pryor, None

I'm funny. I'm a comedian. I'm not a clown.

- Bernie Mac

Funny, Clown, Comedian

I want to have fun. Life ain't no dress rehearsal. I want to have fun. I'm a comedian; I ain't no politician. So everything I do is with humor, with love.

- Bernie Mac

Love, Dress, Rehearsal, Comedian

You can't be a doctor if you don't know the entire parts of the body.

- Bernie Mac

Doctor, Know, Entire, Parts

I love my daughter, but there's a certain feeling, a certain emotion when you got a granddaughter, you know?

- Bernie Mac

Love, Feeling, Got, Daughter

My daughter was a beautiful child.

- Bernie Mac

Beautiful, Child, Daughter

I came from a place where there wasn't a lot of joy.

- Bernie Mac

Joy, Lot, Came, I Came

I'm not ashamed to tell the truth about what happened in my family. I think that's what makes my comedy different.

- Bernie Mac

Think, Ashamed, I Think, Happened

I don't think the people wanna see me play Clyde Johnson the architect.

- Bernie Mac

Play, Think, See, Wanna

I don't have no story. Everybody wants this Hollywood story, but the world don't owe you nothing, man. It's what you owe the world.

- Bernie Mac

World, Hollywood, Everybody, Owe

My grandmother always told me how you start is how you finish.

- Bernie Mac

Grandmother, How, Always, Finish

I've introduced myself with comedy, and once you've introduced yourself as something, that's where people keep you. That's where people like to hold you.

- Bernie Mac

Myself, Comedy, Like, Introduced

I'm a big fan of TV.

- Bernie Mac

Big, Fan, TV, Big Fan

Like a lot of black people, I grew up straight po'. Wasn't no question about whether we was po', either. If you really wanted to know, all you had to do was look in our refrigerator.

- Bernie Mac

About, Had, Our, Refrigerator

We're so politically correct; we take things so seriously.

- Bernie Mac

Take, Politically Correct, Seriously

I've never been no superficial cat.

- Bernie Mac

Never, Cat, Been, Superficial

I have Glocks, .45s, Berettas, Remingtons. I like the marksmanship and the discipline that it takes to be a gun owner. I like the machinery. Being able to take it out and clean it is even more fascinating than having the gun.

- Bernie Mac

Gun, Owner, Having, Fascinating

Only way you can you get upset is when you expecting something.

- Bernie Mac

Upset, Get, Expecting, Something

Whatever success I've had, I always like to top it.

- Bernie Mac

Success, Always, Like, Top

I was a street performer for two years.

- Bernie Mac

Two, Performer, Years, Street

I ain't running for office. I ain't running for nothing.

- Bernie Mac

Nothing, Running, Office

Stand-up is what I am; stand-up is what made me.

- Bernie Mac

I Am, Me, Made, Stand-Up

Comedy has been so good to me.

- Bernie Mac

Good, Me, Been, Comedy

The one thing about comedy, making it become a part of you, the audience loves it, because you become part of them.

- Bernie Mac

Audience, Making, Part, Comedy

It's a pleasure to work with someone who is just as strong as you are.

- Bernie Mac

Work, Strong, Someone, Pleasure

I'm so black, I leave fingerprints on coal.

- Bernie Mac

Black, Leave, Fingerprints, Coal

I want to play a villain - I can't wait to play a villain.

- Bernie Mac

Play, Wait, Want, Villain

I think a lot of TV insults the audience.

- Bernie Mac

Think, TV, Lot, Insults

I know doing movies is where I need to be. That's where my audience wants to see me.

- Bernie Mac

Movies, Doing, See, Audience

I have so much respect for what's funny.

- Bernie Mac

Funny, Much, Respect

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