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Barbara Deming Quotes

Powerful Barbara Deming for Daily Growth

About Barbara Deming

Barbara Deming (1917-1984) was an American feminist writer, peace activist, and social critic, whose work continues to be influential in contemporary discussions about gender, war, and nonviolence. Born on August 23, 1917, in St. Paul, Minnesota, Deming's early years were spent amidst the progressive intellectual climate of the Midwest. Her family encouraged her independence and curiosity, which shaped her later as a trailblazer for women's rights and peace activism. Deming studied at Wellesley College (1935-1939), where she developed an interest in literature and social justice. However, it was after graduation that Deming truly found her calling when she became involved with the Quaker movement. This spiritual and philosophical tradition would profoundly influence her worldview, shaping her commitment to pacifism and social reform. In 1943, Deming married fellow activist John Haynes Holmes Jr., who served as a minister at New York City's Community Church of New York. Together, they advocated for civil rights, women's rights, and peace, often collaborating on writings and speeches. Deming published her first book in 1954, "The Seven-Year itch," a collection of essays on feminist themes such as the double standard of gender roles and the limitations placed on women by societal expectations. This work marked the beginning of a prolific career that spanned over three decades and included numerous books, essays, and speeches. Throughout her life, Deming remained actively involved in social and political movements. She attended the 1963 March on Washington for Jobs and Freedom, worked with the Women's International League for Peace and Freedom, and participated in demonstrations against nuclear weapons. Barbara Deming passed away on April 20, 1984, leaving behind a rich legacy of intellectual and activist work that continues to resonate today. Her commitment to feminism, pacifism, and social justice serves as an inspiration for generations of activists seeking to create a more equitable world.

Interpretations of Popular Quotes

"The true revolutionary is guided by a great feeling of love."

This quote by Barbara Deming emphasizes that genuine revolutionaries are driven not by hatred, anger or self-interest, but by a profound sense of love. Their actions for change stem from empathy, compassion, and care for others and the world. They aim to create positive transformation rather than simply destroying existing systems. The love they feel fuels their resilience, determination, and the unwavering commitment to bring about lasting and meaningful social change.

"Action without reflection is merely agitation; reflection without action is futile."

This quote suggests that meaningful change or progress requires both thoughtful consideration (reflection) and purposeful action. Merely acting impulsively without taking time to think can lead to agitation or chaos, while solely contemplating without doing risks being inactive or ineffective. The balance between reflection and action is crucial for productive outcomes.

"Nonviolence is not a method for cowards; it is a method for the brave."

This quote suggests that nonviolence, as a strategy for change, is not for those who lack courage but rather for the bold and brave. It implies that choosing peace over violence requires significant strength, resilience, and moral conviction in the face of adversity. In other words, it takes immense bravery to opt for peaceful resistance instead of resorting to forceful means when facing opposition.

"The future does not belong to those who are content with today."

This quote by Barbara Deming emphasizes that complacency in the present can hinder progress towards a better future. It suggests that those who are willing to challenge the status quo, learn, adapt, and strive for change will be the ones shaping the future. In other words, it encourages an active approach towards personal growth and societal development, as the future belongs to those who dare to dream and work tirelessly for a brighter tomorrow.

"The struggle for justice and peace cannot be won by one generation; it must be the work of many generations."

This quote by Barbara Deming emphasizes that the pursuit of justice and peace is a long-term, multi-generational endeavor. It suggests that progress towards these ideals will not occur within a single lifetime but requires the concerted efforts and dedication of multiple generations working together over time. The implication is that each generation has a role to play in advancing these causes and should not expect immediate results, but rather focus on building a foundation for future generations to continue the work.

Of course it can be said of jails, too, that they try - by punishing the troublesome - to deter others. No doubt, in certain instances this deterrence actually works. But generally speaking it fails conspicuously.

- Barbara Deming

Doubt, Works, Generally, Deter

Punishment cannot heal spirits, can only break them.

- Barbara Deming

Punishment, Only, Break, Heal

The free man must be born before freedom can be won, and the brotherly man must be born before full brotherhood can be won. It will come into being only if we build it out of our very muscle and bone - by trying to act it out.

- Barbara Deming

Before, Very, Our, Free Man

I think the only choice that will enable us to hold to our vision... is one that abandons the concept of naming enemies and adopts a concept familiar to the nonviolent tradition: naming behavior that is oppressive.

- Barbara Deming

Think, I Think, Oppressive, Naming

The longer we listen to one another - with real attention - the more commonality we will find in all our lives. That is, if we are careful to exchange with one another life stories and not simply opinions.

- Barbara Deming

Will, Stories, Lives, Commonality

After the revolution, let us hope, prisons simply would not exist - if by prisons we mean places that could be experienced by the men and women in them at all as every place that goes by that name now is bound to be experienced.

- Barbara Deming

Hope, Men And Women, Let Us, Prisons

All prisons that have existed in our society to date put people away as no human being should ever be put away.

- Barbara Deming

Date, Human Being, Away, Prisons

This is the heart of my argument: We can put more pressure on the antagonist for whom we show human concern.

- Barbara Deming

Argument, More, Whom, Antagonist

Nonviolent tactics can move into action on our behalf men not naturally inclined to act for us.

- Barbara Deming

Act, Move, Naturally, Nonviolent

Nonviolent action does not have to get others to be nice. It can in effect force them to consult their consciences.

- Barbara Deming

Nice, Be Nice, Them, Nonviolent

To resort to power one need not be violent, and to speak to conscience one need not be meek. The most effective action both resorts to power and engages conscience.

- Barbara Deming

Need, Conscience, Violent, Meek

The point is to change one's life. The point is not to give some vent to the emotions that have been destroying one; the point is so to act that one can master them now.

- Barbara Deming

Give, Some, Vent, Destroying

After the revolution, it might very well remain necessary to place people where they could not do harm to others. But the one under restraint should be cut off from the rest of society as little as possible.

- Barbara Deming

Rest, Very, Cut, Restraint

Our task, of course, is to transmute the anger that is affliction into the anger that is determination to bring about change. I think, in fact, that one could give that as a definition of revolution.

- Barbara Deming

Think, Give, I Think, Affliction

Think first of the action that is right to take, think later about coping with one's fears.

- Barbara Deming

Think, Later, Take, Coping

We believe, in fact, that the one act of respect has little force unless matched by the other - in balance with it... The acting out of that dual respect I would name as precisely the source of our power.

- Barbara Deming

Believe, Fact, Other, Dual

The injunction that we should love our neighbors as ourselves means to us equally that we should love ourselves as we love our neighbors.

- Barbara Deming

Love, Neighbors, Means, Injunction

Vengeance is not the point; change is. But the trouble is that in most people's minds the thought of victory and the thought of punishing the enemy coincide.

- Barbara Deming

Minds, Vengeance, Most, Punishing

There should be no censorship of mail.

- Barbara Deming

Mail, Should, Censorship

People who attack others need rationalizations for doing so. We undermine those rationalizations.

- Barbara Deming

Doing, Need, Undermine, Attack

We learn best to listen to our own voices if we are listening at the same time to other women - whose stories, for all our differences, turn out, if we listen well, to be our stories also.

- Barbara Deming

Listening, Other, Stories, Voices

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