Pure entertainment is not an egotistical lady singing boring songs onstage for two hours and people in tuxes clapping whether they like it or not. It's the real performers on the street who can hold people's attention and keep them from walking away.
- Andy Kaufman
Entertainment, Away, Pure, Performers
If I play my cards right, I could bring network wrestling back to TV. Unfortunately, to most people, wrestling is a laughingstock. But fortunately, I'm reaching people who otherwise wouldn't watch it.
- Andy Kaufman
Play, TV, Otherwise, Fortunately
My mother sent me to psychiatrists since the age of four because she didn't think little boys should be sad. When my brother was born, I stared out the window for days. Can you imagine that?
- Andy Kaufman
Mother, Out, Four, Psychiatrists
Every time my manager approached big network executives or even cable, they told him I was too dangerous. They couldn't trust me.
- Andy Kaufman
Trust, Big, Executives, Every Time
I just want real reactions. I want people to laugh from the gut, be sad from the gut - or get angry from the gut.
- Andy Kaufman
Sad, Want, Gut, Reactions
Any wrestler who will piledrive Lawler and injure him like he did me gets five thousand dollars from me!
- Andy Kaufman
Will, Like, Dollars, Wrestler
I'm just singing a song, and if people want to laugh, that's their business.
- Andy Kaufman
Business, Song, Singing, Laugh
I'm an open book.
- Andy Kaufman
Book, Open, Open Book
While all the other kids were out playing ball and stuff, I used to stay in my room and imagine that there was a camera in the wall. And I used to really believe that I was putting on a television show and that it was going out to somewhere in the world.
- Andy Kaufman
Other, Show, Putting, Camera
I just want the audience to have a wonderful, happy feeling inside them and leave with big smiles on their faces.
- Andy Kaufman
Big, Audience, Smiles, Faces
When I perform, it's very personal. I'm sharing things I like, inviting the audience into my room.
- Andy Kaufman
Audience, Very, Inviting, Sharing
I never told a joke in my life.
- Andy Kaufman
Life, My Life, Never, Joke
I would like to do the Elvis Presley.
- Andy Kaufman
Like, Would, Elvis Presley, Elvis
I'm from Hollywood. That's where we make movies and TV shows... I'm not from down here in men-fus ten-uh-see, okay?
- Andy Kaufman
Here, Okay, TV, TV Shows
Clifton and I don't even look alike. He smokes and drinks, and I do neither. He's a big fat guy, and if it weren't for me, no one would know who he is.
- Andy Kaufman
Big, Guy, Drinks, Neither
Tank you veddy much.
- Andy Kaufman
You, Much, Tank
There's no drama like wrestling.
- Andy Kaufman
Drama, Like, Wrestling
If I was going to be a little boy about it, I'd go into hiding for one or two years. But if I was going to be a man about it, it'd be 20 or 30 years.
- Andy Kaufman
Go, Going, About, One Or Two
It's not that I was crazy. It's just that I was sad at times because the world was sad at times. When I would perform, it wasn't sad anymore.
- Andy Kaufman
World, Perform, Times, Anymore
I'm having everything. I'm a vegetarian, too. But in my mother's house, I eat whatever I'm served.
- Andy Kaufman
Mother, Having, Too, Vegetarian
There's no way to describe what I do. It's just me.
- Andy Kaufman
Me, Way, Just, Describe
I thought Doodyville was inside of the television. You know, like, if television was this box - and if I went inside the box that was a television, I'd be in Doodyville.
- Andy Kaufman
Thought, Television, Like, Box
What's real? What's not? That's what I do in my act, test how other people deal with reality.
- Andy Kaufman
How, Deal, Other, Reality
The more they hate you, the better you're doing.
- Andy Kaufman
Doing, Better, More, Hate
My parents would say, 'Why don't you go out and play?' and I would say, 'I can't! I'm putting on my shows!'
- Andy Kaufman
Play, Go, Putting, Shows
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