You should never meet your heroes. Paul Newman... I was so excited about meeting him, but he turned up in shell suit bottoms, slippers, and a jumper. He was just so worn out and old, he wanted to go home.
- Allan Carr
Paul Newman, Turned, Newman, Slippers
It's Charley's Aunt and The Odd Couple rolled into one.
- Allan Carr
Aunt, Couple, Charley, Odd
I like old people falling over, that's what makes me laugh.
- Allan Carr
Falling, Over, Like, Old People
I've met Nicole Kidman, Elton John, loads of people.
- Allan Carr
Nicole Kidman, Loads, John, Elton
I haven't really got much get up and go. I can't believe I'm on the telly. I'm so lazy.
- Allan Carr
Lazy, Believe, Go, Telly
I was quite pleased that Prince Philip didn't say anything like, I hate queers! He was quite well behaved.
- Allan Carr
Say, Like, Philip, Behaved
I went to Montreal. My first gig went very badly. They just weren't laughing at anything. I found out they were a load of Christians, and it was a gig to raise money for a new church roof.
- Allan Carr
New, Very, Badly, Laughing
I hate Shakespeare. I think Shakespeare's rubbish.
- Allan Carr
Hate, Think, I Think, Shakespeare
We had our first meeting yesterday, and we just laughed all the way through, so if we can bottle that, then I'll be happy. We just get on, and that's half the battle.
- Allan Carr
Happy, Through, Half, Meeting
I still get excited about meeting celebrities, because I don't think I'm a celebrity myself.
- Allan Carr
Think, Celebrity, Still, Meeting
I didn't really want to be a comedian.
- Allan Carr
Want, Really, Comedian
I was at college doing performing arts, and just spending all my time mucking about, and the lecturers thought I would be pretty good at stand-up, so I gave it a whirl.
- Allan Carr
College, Thought, Doing, All My Time
A lot of comedians, when they have a bad gig, will blame everything but themselves. They'll blame the crowd, or the room was wrong, it had a weird vibe, or the promoter promoted a weird atmosphere.
- Allan Carr
Bad, Vibe, Atmosphere, Promoter
I think over there in Montreal they're a bit hardcore with the old homos. They're not that keen on them.
- Allan Carr
Think, Over, I Think, Keen
If you go on stage with the wrong attitude, or something in your performance is off, you can lose an audience in the first minute. That first minute is crucial.
- Allan Carr
Lose, Audience, Crucial, Minute
I'm just generally hugely frustrated, I'm a very, very frustrated man. I'm just a ball of pent-up frustration.
- Allan Carr
Ball, Very, Hugely, Frustration
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