Albert Ellis Quotes

Powerful Albert Ellis for Daily Growth

About Albert Ellis

Albert Ellis (September 27, 1913 – July 24, 2007) was an American psychologist, psychoanalyst, and founder of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), a form of cognitive-behavioral therapy. Born in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, Ellis grew up during the Great Depression, which greatly influenced his perspectives on life's challenges. After serving in the U.S. Army Air Forces during World War II, Ellis earned his doctorate in clinical psychology from Columbia University in 1947. Despite initial resistance to the new field of behaviorism, he was drawn to the theories of B.F. Skinner and John Watson. Influenced by these philosophies, Ellis began developing his unique approach to therapy. In 1955, Ellis founded the Institute for Rational Living (now known as the Albert Ellis Institute) in New York City, where he spent most of his career helping individuals overcome emotional difficulties through REBT principles. His major works include "Reason and Emotion in Psychotherapy" (1942), "How to Live with a Neurotic Family" (1957), and "A Guide to Rational Living" (1962). One of Ellis' most notable contributions is the ABC model of REBT, which helps people identify irrational beliefs that lead to negative emotions. This model has proven highly effective in treating a wide range of emotional disorders, making REBT one of the most widely practiced forms of therapy today. Throughout his life, Ellis received numerous accolades for his work, including the Distinguished Scientific Contribution Award from the American Psychological Association in 1970 and induction into the National Women's Hall of Fame as a pioneer in women's mental health in 2002. His groundbreaking contributions to psychology continue to impact therapists and clients around the world.

Interpretations of Popular Quotes

"The more you accept reality the less you will be upset by it."

This quote by Albert Ellis emphasizes the importance of adapting to our circumstances instead of fighting against them, thereby reducing emotional distress. In essence, when we fully understand and accept the truth of a situation, we are less likely to experience upset or frustration, as our expectations align with reality. Accepting reality helps us maintain emotional balance and respond to situations constructively.


"Don't blame God, man, fate, or yourself – change what you can and develop a sense of humor about the rest."

This quote emphasizes personal responsibility and resilience in the face of life's challenges. Albert Ellis suggests that instead of blaming external factors for our problems, we should focus on what we can change and control within ourselves. Simultaneously, he encourages developing a sense of humor to help us cope with the aspects of life that are beyond our control. In essence, this quote urges us to be proactive in managing our circumstances while maintaining a positive and adaptable attitude towards the unchangeable elements of life.


"It is not events that disturb people, but their judgments of these events."

This quote by Albert Ellis suggests that our emotional responses to life's events are not dictated by the events themselves, but rather by our perceptions, interpretations, or "judgments" of those events. In other words, it is not the event itself that causes distress, but our evaluation or appraisal of it as positive or negative that leads to emotional disturbance. This insight underscores the importance of challenging and modifying negative thoughts in order to improve emotional well-being.


"The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance."

This quote emphasizes the importance of embracing change rather than resisting it. It suggests that instead of trying to avoid or understand change from a distance, one should fully immerse themselves in it, adapt to its rhythm, and actively participate in the process. By doing so, we can not only make sense of change but also grow and evolve as individuals. Essentially, Ellis encourages us to be proactive, flexible, and resilient when encountering change in our lives.


"To achieve a fully functioning personality, I must realize that I can't always have what I want, do what I want, be with who I want, when I want."

This quote by Albert Ellis emphasizes the importance of understanding and accepting that life doesn't always cater to our desires or preferences. It highlights the journey towards a 'fully functioning personality', which involves recognizing and accepting limitations in achieving immediate wants, doing what we want at all times, being with whom we prefer whenever desired, and so on. This acceptance fosters emotional maturity, resilience, and overall personal growth, as it helps us adapt to life's inevitable challenges more effectively.


I had a great many sex and love cases where people were absolutely devastated when somebody with whom they were compulsively in love didn't love them back. They were killing themselves with anxiety and depression.

- Albert Ellis

Love, Sex, Back, Cases

I think it's unfair, but they have the right as fallible, screwed-up humans to be unfair; that's the human condition.

- Albert Ellis

Think, Right, I Think, Human Condition

I hope to die in the saddle seat.

- Albert Ellis

Death, Die, Seat, Saddle

The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You do not blame them on your mother, the ecology, or the president. You realize that you control your own destiny.

- Albert Ellis

Future, Destiny, Which, Blame

I think the future of psychotherapy and psychology is in the school system. We need to teach every child how to rarely seriously disturb himself or herself and how to overcome disturbance when it occurs.

- Albert Ellis

Think, I Think, Disturbance, Occurs

I thought foolishly that Freudian psychoanalysis was deeper and more intensive than other, more directive forms of therapy, so I was trained in it and practiced it.

- Albert Ellis

Thought, Other, Trained, Foolishly

We teach people that they upset themselves. We can't change the past, so we change how people are thinking, feeling and behaving today.

- Albert Ellis

Past, Teach, Upset, Behaving

People have motives and thoughts of which they are unaware.

- Albert Ellis

Thoughts, Motives, Which, Unaware

I wrote several articles criticizing psychoanalysis, but the analysts weren't listening to my objections. So I finally quit after practicing it for six years.

- Albert Ellis

Listening, Criticizing, Six, Psychoanalysis

Freud had a gene for inefficiency, and I think I have a gene for efficiency.

- Albert Ellis

Think, I Think, Inefficiency, Freud

Many psychoanalysts refused to let me speak at their meetings. They were exceptionally vigorous because I had previously been an analyst and they were very angry at my flying the coop.

- Albert Ellis

Been, Very, Refused, Analyst

People got insights into what was bothering them, but they hardly did a damn thing to change.

- Albert Ellis

Damn, Bothering, Insights, Hardly

People could rationally decide that prolonged relationships take up too much time and effort and that they'd much rather do other kinds of things. But most people are afraid of rejection.

- Albert Ellis

Dating, Other, Rationally, Prolonged

By not caring too much about what people think, I'm able to think for myself and propagate ideas which are very often unpopular. And I succeed.

- Albert Ellis

Think, Very, Which, Unpopular

Most people would have given up when faced with all the criticism I've received over the years.

- Albert Ellis

Over, Given, Received, Faced

Acceptance is not love. You love a person because he or she has lovable traits, but you accept everybody just because they're alive and human.

- Albert Ellis

Love, Everybody, Traits, Lovable

There's no evidence whatsoever that men are more rational than women. Both sexes seem to be equally irrational.

- Albert Ellis

Women, Evidence, Whatsoever, Rational

Rational beliefs bring us closer to getting good results in the real world.

- Albert Ellis

World, Real World, Getting, Rational

I started to call myself a rational therapist in 1955; later I used the term rational emotive. Now I call myself a rational emotive behavior therapist.

- Albert Ellis

Myself, Started, Emotive, Rational

The art of love is largely the art of persistence.

- Albert Ellis

Love, Art, Largely, Love Is

Self-esteem is the greatest sickness known to man or woman because it's conditional.

- Albert Ellis

Woman, Self-Esteem, Known, Conditional

As a result of my philosophy, I wasn't even upset about Hitler. I was willing to go to war to knock him off, but I didn't hate him. I hated what he was doing.

- Albert Ellis

Doing, Upset, Knock, Hated

Let's suppose somebody abused you sexually. You still had a choice, though not a good one, about what to tell yourself about the abuse.

- Albert Ellis

Abuse, Still, Though, Sexually

I'm very happy. I like my work and the various aspects of it - going around the world, teaching the gospel according to St. Albert.

- Albert Ellis

Like, Going, Very, Gospel

For that again, is what all manner of religion essentially is: childish dependency.

- Albert Ellis

Childish, Again, Dependency, Essentially

I get people to truly accept themselves unconditionally, whether or not their therapist or anyone loves them.

- Albert Ellis

People, Loves, Them, Therapist

In the old days we used to get more referrals, because people had insurance that paid for therapy. Now they belong to HMOs, and we can only be affiliated with a few HMOs.

- Albert Ellis

Insurance, Old, Belong, Paid

You largely constructed your depression. It wasn't given to you. Therefore, you can deconstruct it.

- Albert Ellis

Given, Constructed, Largely, Depression

There are three musts that hold us back: I must do well. You must treat me well. And the world must be easy.

- Albert Ellis

Brainy, Treat, Back, Easy

If I had been a member of the academic establishment, I could have done other experiments.

- Albert Ellis

Other, Academic, Been, Experiments

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